People From Around The World Share The Dumbest Thing Their Partner Has Said Or Done
When you love someone, you try to ignore their faults and love them for who they are on the inside. Sometimes though, the ones we love say things so dumb, that we have to question our love for them and even ask ourselves if they are a danger to themselves or those around them.
The worst is when, even after a few minutes of discussion, they still don't realize the error in their ways. That's when you should really worry what they are capable of. Below are some of the best stories from around the world and even a few confessions from those who should have just thought a little more before they spoke, or more importantly, payed more attention in school.
Unknown
60. Near death
When my now ex-wife first started dating. I had made a roast for dinner, in my slow cooker. After dinner, she was helping me clean up. I come into the kitchen, and she had the entire crock pot submerged in the sink. I asked what she was doing, and she said she was cleaning it. (She didn’t know that the ceramic inside could be removed to clean).
After I explained that to her, she said, “I guess I shouldn’t have put the whole thing under water!”
I said, “No!” And reached over and unplugged it!
I have no idea how she didn’t get electrocuted.
59. Mini tents
My husband and I were at Canadian Tire and they had tiny examples of tents (basically looked like they were made for barbie dolls) and the pricing for each underneath. He turned to me shocked and asked, "Why are these so expensive for such tiny tents?!"
I almost died laughing.
58. Mathlete not an athlete
My eldest child was born in December 2004. This was the year that we found out that London had won the bid for the 2012 Olympics.
It was announced that children born on 20/12 would get free entry to the Olympics.
“But what if they’re not any good at sports?”
I had to gently explain that it was free entry to watch the Olympics.
57. Analog maps
Once me and my SO went for a walk around a local nature reserve.
On the way in we got a map given to us so we could navigate the area. Later on the walk she is looking at the map and says to me "These maps really need a 'you are here' on them."
It took me a second to realise what she meant, so I explained that it's a hand held map and that it wouldn't be possible, it took 4/5 attempts before it clicked with her.
56. Not the smartest birds
My significant other and I were on a walk, in a rural area with lots of farmers' fields full of sheep and cows.
She looks off to a field in the distance that had some birds in it, turns around to me and says “Why do they keep birds in a field?”
55. Hiding stars
My boyfriend as we were looking up at the beautiful night sky.
"Wow, there's so much we don't know about the universe. Like where the stars go during the day. Are they still there? If not, where do they go?".
He was dead serious.
54. Minty freshness
He picked up our friend's keys, thinking one of her keychains was either a lighter or breathe freshener.
It was mace.
He got a nice spray to the face and I was sitting right next to him, so I got a lovely dose as well. For the next 30 minutes or so the ENTIRE apartment was coughing and dying and trying to air the place out. Even our friend who was upstairs showering could feel the effects.
53. Gravity
My fiancee was setting up for my 30th birthday at a bar. She was blowing up balloons with her mouth and taping them to the wall on the outside deck the bar had.
She asked me, "Why aren't they floating up?"
52. Horse whisperer
As we were driving along the road we saw a horse with its head over a gate. We slowed down, she opens the window and says “Mooooooo”.
51. Best to just close out
For some reason, when she's done watching a video she doesn't pause it or close out of the window; she just shuts her laptop. This has twice resulted in her scandalizing a quiet lecture hall with the sound of 'adult videos' resuming at full volume.
And she gets off on some wacky stuff.
50. Electric cars
Now ex girlfriend from high school. Her power had gone out in the neighboring town. She called crying saying she had so much homework to complete. I said to drive to my house since I still had power. She yelled at me saying, “How dare you attempt to get me to drive! How do you expect me to do that... my headlights won’t work!”
It didn’t last much longer after that.
Pixabay
49. Old school
"The hardest part of writing a check is you have to write in cursive."
-My wife
48. New features
My now ex-girlfriend got a Polaroid camera for Christmas. Jokingly one day I said “Does it take videos?” And she very seriously said “I’m sure it does but I haven’t tried that feature yet."
47. Experimental chef
My husband called me at work one day and my daughter took the call. She came and said,”Daddy made chili and cornbread for dinner!” I replied, "But we don’t have any cornmeal.”
Sitting down for dinner he proudly served the cornbread. “Taste it!” It was crunchy with hard little bits in it.
He had put popcorn in the coffee grinder! His recipe was Bisquick and ground popcorn!
He is infamous for his recipe substitutions.
Pixabay
46. Future doctor
My deeply intelligent wife lost her CAR. Like left it in a parking lot and somehow got home on Friday.
Monday morning I get a text: “Where’s my car?”
She’s gonna finish her medical degree next year.
45. History buff
“I know America won, but who did we fight in the civil war?”
-My ex wife
44. Cyber security
My wife (PhD) was being paranoid one day, and started talking about putting some tape over the webcam on her MacBook. I told her to go ahead and do it if it makes her feel better. Fast forward 5 minutes and I watched her put a piece of clear Scotch tape over the camera while I sat there and puzzled out what she was doing.
She looked at me with such a look of pride, which quickly crashed as she realized what she'd done.
43. Big break
My bf’s band was playing a pretty sizable music fest. I felt like it was coming up soon so I asked him what day it was and he went “uhhhhhhhh probably sometime?”
I looked it up and it was the next day.
He was pleasantly surprised and just went “oh cool!”
42. Sparky
Ex-boyfriend drove an older truck that had some quirks to it. One night, we’re driving back to his house thru a small, dark, windy road and I notice he’s pushing the high beams lever with his hand. I asked him if it was broken and he said he always held it. I suggested he pull it toward him. The lightbulb over his head was nearly as bright as the high beams, and I almost wet myself laughing. He’s been driving that truck for years and had always held the lever.
Pixabay
41. Geography major
I asked my now wife, "What's the Capital of Canada?"
She said "Canada D.C."
40. With a straw
I handed my boyfriend a hard boiled egg (in the shell) he looked at me so confused and asked how does he get the egg out?
39. BOOM
My girlfriend put the metal spoon for her ice cream in the microwave to, "Warm it up so its easier to eat the ice cream".
Still with her, 3 years later.
38. What is an envelope?
My significant other needed to pay a bill via mail. He owned none of the necessary tools for this job, so I gave him an envelope, stamps, and the check. Concerned that he had never written a check before, I guided him through the process and provided my signature; however, I left him to his own devices for the actual filling out of the envelope.
A couple minutes later I'm driving him down to the PO box and as he gets back in the car, he turns to look at me and comments: 'Wait, letters need stamps.'
He also didn't include the return address.
37. A long mistake
My now ex-boyfriend believed that his middle name was Steven until his late teens/early twenties because that was his older brother's middle name and he thought "that's how it works".
He doesn't have a middle name.
Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash
36. A sucker born every minute
Phone call from unknown number: “Is this Mr. Earlyswirly with the social #########?”
Him: “No, that must be a different Mr. Earlyswirly, my social is #########”
Caller: “Oh, our mistake thanks.”
35. Professional life
My ex-girlfriend and I were at work and during a staff meeting she asked for some to hand her a "vanilla folder".
34. Cheese trees
My son used to have a severe dairy allergy when he was under a year old. One day, my fiance at the time texted me frantically "Our son ate cheese call me".
I called her, asked how he got a hold of cheese, she said she fed it to him. Confused, I ask why.
She stated that she thought cheese isn't dairy. She thought that cheese grew in the ground. As in, if you go buy Vermont cheddar, it's grown in the ground in Vermont.
33. Political expert
We were driving around Washington D.C.
Him: What's that weirdly shaped building over there?!
Me: You mean the one shaped like a pentagon?
Him: Yea!
Me: Seriously....
Him: Don't be mean, what building is that?
Me: THE PENTAGON
Pointed that out every time we drove by it for the next 3 years.
32. Lucky to be alive
Wife put a pizza in the oven to warm it up. She didn't take it out of the cardboard box. The box started to turn black and was almost on fire when I caught it. She swore she had done it like that before and it was OK. She never admitted it was stupid and could have burned down the house.
31. Morning fuel
Driving down the highway behind a diesel hauling gas to the local gas stations, it had a big ad on the back of it for coffee.
My wife said, "Is that whole tanker full of coffee?"
Photo by Kaboompics .com from Pexels
30. She's the real hero
While she was deciding what movie we were going to watch that night she said that "Fantastic Four" sounded interesting but she hadn't seen "Fantastic One, Two or Three".
Unknown
29. Completely different
My boyfriend at the time and I had roast beef for dinner. I went for seconds. I yelled from the kitchen, "You want any more of this roast beef?".
He replies, "I don't like roast beef".
To which I, confused, ask, "What do you thing you're eating?".
He replies, "I thought it was a beef roast."
28. Bullies
English is not my first language and despite being fluent, some vocabulary just rarely comes up.
A few months ago, my boyfriend and I wanted to join the gym for swimming as work out. Now, I never went swimming as work out before so I didn't have a swim cap etc, so I didn't have that vocabulary. A few days before going there, I asked my boyfriend what that thing for your hair is called, his answer: "head condom".
I didn't buy it at first, but his best friend (who convinced us to join the gym) joined this and they both kept calling it "head condom" in conversation for a while and yes I didn't bother googling it.
Then the day to sign up at the gym came and I stood at the counter, my boyfriend and his bestfriend behind me, asking for the "hair thingy" going red all I could think of was "head condom" and my boyfriend and best friend burst out laughing.
He still looks at me sometimes, says "head condom" and bursts out laughing.
Pixabay
27. There is only so many
Not sure if they are known everywhere but in the UK there is a series of music compilations called "Now That's What I Call Music!"
They are numbered and increase by one on every release. When the latest commercial played on the TV she asked me what they would call them when they ran out of numbers.
26. Wordmaster
He sent me a text that simply said, “I loathe you.” When I got defensive and upset, he was terribly confused.
He thought “loathe” means to REALLY love someone.
Such a sweet goofball.
Unknown
25. Honest fear
My wife (then fiancé) was visiting me in Iowa, around February timeframe. We bought ice cream and put it in the car. On our way home I asked if we wanted to get something to eat and she said, “We don’t have time, won’t the ice cream melt?”
She’s from Georgia, I laughed so hard and unfairly at her.
24. Not how that works
“It must take a lot of electricity to keep a windmill going.”
23. Cars of the future
"When the oil change light turns on (in the car) doesn't that mean its changing the oil itself?" -he was a 28 year old male.
22. Unflavored wrappers
I like to eat mini Baybel cheese wheels but my partner had never had any before. He grabbed one to eat, and then I hear him say, "This is gross!"
I look over at him to see if it was moldy or something, and I see he's taken a bite out of it with the red wax coating still on! I start laughing and tell him he has to take the wax off. Still makes me chuckle every time I eat one.
21. Major Sale
My girlfriend: “Dang. Carmax is busy today.” (Carmax is a used car dealership)
Me: ‘Those are for sale’
20. Eating is hard
I’ve had to give the Heimlich maneuver to 3 different boyfriends. First was Chipotle, second one steak, third one was too many skittles at once.
Unknown
19. Poor timing
"I want a divorce"
... one month before my penny-pinching parents passed on and left an estate of $23 million. He got nothing because of it and lives in a crappy one bedroom apartment with cardboard walls. Karma keeps receipts.
18. Just try it again
When I first met my girlfriend she had a Honda Accord and insisted that the trunk button on the key-less entry didn’t work. She said it hadn’t worked since she owned the car (a few years).
I tried it out one day and it worked perfectly. She apparently didn’t realize that you have to hold the button for a second. It legitimately blew my mind.
She is incredibly blonde.
17. Is it in Alabama?
Driving to the airport, saw an exit for air cargo.
Wife: "That's a weird name for a town."
She didn't realize her mistake until she turned to me and saw my stare, mouth agape.
16. Wings?
My girlfriend said she didn't like chicken wings. Now I love wings so after a couple of months living together I was missing them. Finally one night she was going out with friends so it was my chance to have them. She got home when I was mid way through dinner and asked what I was having...wings.
When she saw them she said they aren't wings but miniature drumsticks and she loved those. Her whole life she thought wings were the little bony wing tips and so had never ordered them before. We eat wings a lot now.
15. Melted ham
Saying all seriously when talking about a toasted ham/cheese sandwich:
"I thought ham melts just like cheese?"
I laughed, we had a fight, it wasn't the best day.
14. Not quite it
My mom and dad were talking about something dumb my mom did when she was younger, and then my mom says, "Well, you know what they say! A tiger can't change its spots!"
My dad, holding back a smile, told her, "No, they can't. Because tigers have stripes."
Unknown
13. Ducks can run?
Spouse and I standing around a water collection ravine (area in a neighborhood designed to funnel and catch rain & runoff). It was nice and we were wanting to walk down to the water’s edge but the area was all fenced off.
Seeing the flock of ducks swimming in the water my partner asks, “How do you think they got them in there?”
12. Fake flames
My pregnant wife asked about the fire raging in our gas fireplace last week, "Are those real flames?"
I replied, "No, it's just a heater, and these flames are holograms."
She nodded, "I thought so, but I wasn't sure."
11. Trying his best
My husband drove from Ireland to Albania because he wanted to have a car while there and thought it was too expensive to rent one. It took him almost 4 days and my son and I flew separately.
Oh, and he also asked me seriously if dragons lived at the same time as dinosaurs or after.
10. TV magic
An ex of mine while watching an NFL game, “How do the players not trip on the yellow line that keeps moving across the field?”
I would’ve even accepted “How do they move the yellow first down line so quickly?”
9. Dinner games
My girlfriend at the time was having dinner with my family for the first time. My younger brother started talking about palindromes, and the rest of us jumped in and started giving our own examples.
Civic, Race car, etc...
My girlfriend was being a bit quiet, when suddenly she lights up and shouts, “FIRETRUCK!!!” The table went silent for a second.. then busted out into laughter. She never lived that one down.
Best part, her name is Anna.. she could have used her own name as an example.
8. It was me
I once asked my boyfriend what the difference was between jalapeño with a J and halapeño with an H....
He looked at me and said " You mean habanero? "
7. Fast and furious
My now ex used to have a nice and faster car than mine, whatever I didn't mind at all since I cared about her and not her car.
Anyways we're driving back to her house and I pass her up and then she passed me again and zoomed towards her house, when I got there she told me, "You shouldn't try passing me, my car is faster than yours, even if you're going 45 mph and I'm going 30 mph I'm still going faster than you because my car is stronger than yours."
I never let her live that down.
6. Power is out
My partner thought “no outlet” signs on streets meant there was no electricity.
5. Great ear
My ex boyfriend and I were riding the haunted mansion at Disneyland and they play the recorded instructions telling you to keep your hands and feet inside the ride, then repeat it in Spanish. My boyfriend was so sure that it was Latin because “ghosts speak Latin”.
It took a lot of arguing for him to finally concede that it probably makes more sense to repeat it in Spanish for the living park guests.
4. One left
Years ago my then-girlfriend-now-wife was trying to buy a copy of the Washington Post, put her money in the machine, opened the door to see the back shelf empty, and (instead of taking the window copy) yelled "Dangit, not this again" and let the door close.
I'm actually laughing about it as I type this, I can't even pass a newspaper machine without smiling anymore, but as you can expect it's something I never bring up in conversation.
3. She wasn't wrong
We were broiling steaks in the oven. When it was time to flip them and she needed the tongs, she couldn't think of the word. So she asked where we keep 'the tweezers of the food world'.
Unknown
2. Impulse control
I was at a company dinner when a guy picked up a brandy snap (rolled up caramel pastry tube filled with cream), looked at it a little puzzled, lifted it to his mouth and blew... Cream all over the boss and guests opposite him. Silence... His wife looks at him like he's crazy and asks him why he did that and he yells "I DON'T KNOW WHY!"
1. A giving boyfriend
After taking some melatonin one night to help me sleep, my boyfriend said, “If you ever don’t have melatonin on hand, you can just bite off one of my freckles!” and while I appreciate his selflessness, melatonin and melanin are very different things.
And even if they weren’t, that’s just nasty.
