Worst Roommate Ever
We all grew up wishing we could hang out at the Avengers Tower or grab a snack at the Batcave, but the reality of sharing a kitchen with a masked vigilante is probably less "super" and more "stressful." While these heroes are great at saving the planet from alien invasions, they likely aren't as focused on keeping the bathroom clean or remembering to pay their half of the electric bill. With that in mind, here are the 20 worst superhero roommates and why.
1. The Hulk’s Structural Integrity Issues
The Hulk is liable to tear your apartment apart at the slightest inconvenience. And by slight inconvenience, we mean stubbing his toe. If he lives with you, you’ll never be able to relax because any minor altercation could lead to destruction.
2. Spider-Man’s Constant Sticky Situations
OK, so having Spider-Man around means your apartment is basically secured by the greatest superhero alive. But imagine how tall the web collection on your ceiling would get! Not to mention Peter’s chronic habit of being broke.
Road Trip with Raj on Unsplash
3. Iron Man’s High-Tech Noise
Sure, Tony Stark is rich. But that doesn’t mean he won’t use your shared apartment as his own personal round-the-clock robotics workshop. You’ll be fighting exhaustion as you try to sleep with JARVIS calibrating the nano tech at max volume while a malfunctioning Repulsor torches your couch.
4. Thor’s Lack of Mortal Boundaries
Sure, Thor might make a charming roommate until you realize your breakable glassware is no match for his fierce handling. The Man of Thunder doesn’t know the meaning of whispering either. Not to mention vacuuming will be impossible when he leaves Mjolnir in the middle of the floor.
5. Wolverine’s Terrible Grooming Habits
Wolverine has been known to say some questionable things about hygiene. Couple that with his irritable personality, and you’re asking for your deposit to evaporate. He’ll probably tear apart the furniture during his nightmares, too.
6. Human Torch’s Literal Fire Hazards
Sure, the Human Torch can be your literal insurance plan against robbery or assault. But did you know he likes to randomly FLAME ON to show off now and then? You’ll spend more time monitoring the smoke detectors than actually enjoying your new place.
7. Batman’s Gloomy Atmosphere
Living with Bruce Wayne means dealing with a roommate who is never actually there during the day and spends his nights brooding in a dark basement. He’d probably install high-tech surveillance cameras in the hallway to monitor your every move, claiming it’s for "security" reasons. The constant stream of "orphaned" sidekicks running through the house would also make it very difficult to find any peace.
8. The Flash’s Metabolic Chaos
Unless you want Barry Allen, cooking and eating all your food before you wake up, you’ll have to keep your pantry better stocked than Fort Knox. He moves so fast that he’d create a sonic boom every time he went to the bathroom, likely shattering all the mirrors in the process. You’d find yourself constantly dizzy as he zips around the room, making it impossible to hold a conversation without him finishing your sentences.
9. Aquaman’s Constant Humidity Issues
If your roommate surfed up onshore in Hawaii, never graduated from college, and hailed from Atlantis, you’d be living with Aquaman. His kelp-collecting tendencies will ensure your apartment always smells like sweaty fish bait. Oh, and he’ll turn your bathtub into an aquarium for his fish buddies, so you can’t take showers anymore.
10. Wonder Woman’s Intense Training Regimen
Wonder Woman lives and breathes being a warrior. If you two are sharing an apartment, you can bet your living room is going to become her daily obstacle course. You’ll be lucky if your ears wake you up before she starts banging her Amazonian swords together at dawn.
Sergey Galyonkin from Raleigh, USA on Wikimedia
11. Doctor Strange’s Interdimensional Clutter
The Sorcerer Supreme doesn't just have books; he has ancient, sentient scrolls that might try to eat your cat if you aren't careful. Living with him means the floor plan of your apartment could change at any moment, and you might accidentally walk through a portal. He also spends most of his time staring deeply into crystals and humming incantations about the future of the multiverse, so don’t expect him to fix the kitchen sink after it leaks.
Theme Park Tourist on Wikimedia
12. Deadpool’s Unbearable Social Energy
Wade Wilson is the definition of a "too much" roommate who would never stop talking, even when you’re clearly wearing noise-cancelling headphones. His healing factor might be great for him, but seeing his limbs regrowing in the living room is not exactly the vibe you want for a cozy home.
13. Storm’s Indoor Weather Patterns
Storm is literally the goddess of weather, so your mood rings won’t be the only things dramatically changing color when she’s upset. Living with Ororo Munroe means you’ll never know what kind of atmosphere you’ll wake up in on any given day.
14. Captain America’s Outdated Standards
Steve Rogers is a great guy, but his "man out of time" routine would get old fast when he starts lecturing you about your modern lifestyle. He’d find your social media habits appalling, and your television tastes disgraceful. He’d be the perfect dad from the golden age, insisting you go run around outside and get some sun.
15. Catwoman’s Problematic Hobbies
The last thing you want to worry about is your roommate stealing diamonds from museums and leaving you the ridiculously huge burden of covering her tracks. Poor publicity is one of the main reasons Catwoman was kicked out of the Justice League. Not to mention Selina’s affection for adopting stray cats by the dozens.
16. Superman’s Lack of Privacy
Having a roommate with X-ray vision and super-hearing is a total nightmare for anyone who values their personal space. Clark Kent would know exactly what you’re doing behind closed doors, and he’d probably hear you complaining about him from three miles away. Even though he’s a Boy Scout, having someone around who can literally see through walls makes it impossible to ever truly feel alone in your own home.
17. Black Widow’s Secretive Lifestyle
Natasha Romanoff is a professional spy, so you’d never actually know if she’s home or just hiding in the shadows to test your awareness. You’ll probably find tiny cameras in all of your lamps just to monitor you when she leaves for work in the morning. Don’t even think about inviting friends over to your place unless you’re okay with having them interrogated by actual government agents who crawl out of the walls when she leaves the room.
18. Ant-Man’s Pest Control Problems
You’re essentially signing up for an ant-infested home. Did I mention ants can bite and inflict painful stings? Enjoy watching your feet for signs of ant activity, friends.
19. Ghost Rider’s Fire and Brimstone
Sharing a space with Johnny Blaze is a literal highway to hell, especially when he decides to park his flaming motorcycle in the hallway. The smell of burning rubber and sulfur would never leave your clothes. It’s hard to have a peaceful night when your roommate’s head turns into a flaming skull whenever he gets a little bit cranky.
20. Jean Grey’s Psychic Intrusion
Living with a powerful telepath means you don't even have the luxury of keeping your private thoughts to yourself. Not to mention when she goes all Dark Phoenix. One of her mutant mishaps could end up burning down the entire city block without you even realizing it’s happening.
