Would You Party With An Orc?
Reputation is everything—even for fantasy creatures. While we unfortunately don't live in a world populated by elves, dwarves, and everything in between, we can certainly imagine what it would be like. As it stands, some creatures probably make better companions than others.
1. Orcs
Don't get us wrong, we're sure there are nice orc out there! In recent years, Dungeons & Dragons players have worked overtime to rehabilitate and complicate the common narrative of orcs as evil, ugly, and brutish. Unfortunately, it's going to take a lot more PR to fix orcs' overall public image.
2. Banshees
In Irish mythology, banshees are spirits whose cry or song heralds a death in the family. They're probably lovely when they're not foretelling the death of a loved one, but you'd never be able to relax around on. It would probably be best to keep your distance.
3. Goblins
Malicious, greedy and thieving, goblins have an extra-bad reputation as their imagery has been connected to unfortunate racial stereotypes. We certainly wouldn't want to paint all goblins with such a bad brush, but it's difficult when they come with that much baggage. However, there are friendly varieties such as hobgoblins.
4. Ghouls
Let's just say that there's a reason why "ghoulish" is a negative adjective! Ghouls derive from Arabic folklore where they are demonic beings who eat human flesh! No thanks.
5. Fae
It may surprise you to see fairies on this list, especially given their popularity in fantasy fiction. However, life isn't all sunshine and rainbow with these fair folk! They're known for having sticky fingers, stealing everything from your name to your newborn baby.
6. Sirens
Do not fall for a siren's song, no matter how beautiful it is. While a siren may sing with the voice of an angel and may look like a beautiful woman, it's all a ploy so she can lure you down to a watery grave. It's better to keep your earbuds in and ignore them.
John William Waterhouse on Wikimedia
7. Satyrs
Satyrs may be the life of the party, but it isn't any party we'd want an invite to. These Greek creatures are mostly man, part horse, and thoroughly X-rated. They'd do anything to have a nymph or human woman in their arms, even if she says no.
Boudewijn Huysmans on Unsplash
8. Ogres
Unless an invite to Shrek's swamp is on the table, we'd prefer to keep our distance from ogres. Ogres are another creature with a taste for human flesh. It's hard to be friends with something that wants to eat you.
9. Werewolves
Look, everyone knows werewolves are cool, we're not denying that. We're just saying that they're notoriously volatile creatures who lose complete control approximately once a month. If you're the sort of person with an astrology app on your phone, you would probably be fine befriending a werewolf, as you'd always know when a full moon was approaching.
10. Tieflings
Since tieflings were introduced to Dungeons & Dragons in 1994, they've become one of the most popular species among players. Unfortunately, their fiendish ancestry means that they're perpetual outsiders. Although tiefling alignment has shifted over the years, it's difficult to feel comfortable around them.
Now that we've covered a few creatures to steer clear of, let's look at a few we'd gladly hang out with.
1. Vampires
Maybe it's hypocritical to include these blood-suckers while snubbing tieflings, ghouls, and ogres. You can say a lot of things about vampires, but you can't deny that they're cool. We'd befriend one for the express purpose of being turned.
2. Elves
While elves are generally indifferent to humans, we'd still want to hang with them. They may be high-and-mighty, but they're also ancient and knowledgeable, so we imagine they'd come in handy for pub quizzes. Also, it never hurts to be in an elf's good books around Christmas.
3. Dwarves
Dwarves are excellent craftspeople and probably gift their friends beautiful jewelry and trinkets. However, we aren't just in it for the bling! Dwarves are good-hearted, loyal friends, and excellent drinking buddies.
Heraldo Mussolini (BrokenMachine86) - brokenmachine86.deviantart.com on Wikimedia
4. Mermaids
There's a reason why playing mermaids is a canon event for children at the pool. As with sirens, there is the risk of your new bestie taking you for a swim with the fishes; however, mermaids are generally less malicious than sirens. Get yourself scuba-certified and you'd have endless fun exploring with a mermaid.
Naja Bertolt Jensen on Unsplash
5. Dragons
Dragons are essentially big, scaly dogs—what's not to love? Sure, there's always the risk of being burned to a crisp, but dragons seem relatively easy to win over. Bring them something shiny and you have a friend for life.
6. Unicorns
Once seen as a symbol of untamed wilderness, unicorns are now the go-to symbol of all things cutesy. Their whimsical associations make them the perfect candidate for a new friend. Plus, their horns are said to have healing powers, which would definitely come in handy.
7. Hobbits
Does any fantasy race have it better than hobbits? Six meals a day, simple pleasures, and wonderful parties. Hobbits are at the top of our list of fantasy creatures to befriend.
8. Golems
Given our previous point, we'll forgive you if you think we mean Gollum. We're talking about golems, the clay creatures from Jewish folklore. Golems are strong and protective, but not the brightest bulb; if you befriend the master of one, you'll win the golem's favor easily.
9. Centaurs
In their earliest appearances, centaurs were depicted as wild and bestial. However, they've become known in modern mythology for their even tempers and intelligence. They'd probably be really good therapists.
10. Dryads
Dryads are ancient Greek flower children—literally. They're the spirit of oak trees and are tied to the land. While dryads can be shy, they aren't malicious in any way.
