No One Else Can Know
What do you do on your phone? Well, you probably text your friends, watch funny TikToks, and scroll on Instagram. At least, that's what you say you do. What other people don't know—and what they will never know—is that you do a lot more than just that on your little pocket computer. In fact, you'd rather eat rocks than ever let your secrets get out... You can only imagine how embarrassing that'd be. So, how many of these 20 things are you guilty of doing on your phone?
1. Stalking Your Ex on Social Media
You might insist you've moved on, but your screen time sure doesn't say so. You spend more time scrolling through your ex's photos on Instagram than through your friends' posts! And while this doesn't necessarily mean you want to get back together, you're still just curious. Yeah. Curious.
2. Googling Embarrassing Questions
Do I have a wart on my toe? How long until constipation subsides? What's the right way to boil an egg? You'd never admit it, but you've asked Google plenty of questions you'd never ask in person. Whether you're worried about a strange bodily symptom or confused about something everyone else seems to understand, your search history (or Incognito mode) has seen it all.
3. Swiping Through Dating Apps
You're not technically looking for a partner, but that doesn't mean you won't still want to see what's out there. Yeah, fine, sometimes you update your profile, too, but you swear that's all you do! You're off the dating apps for good! Just, you know, one more swipe...
4. Taking Multiple Selfies
Look, we all do it. When we're feeling extra attractive, we'll pull up the camera app and spend the next 20 minutes trying to capture the perfect selfie. You even do candid poses, as if someone else is taking the shot and not you. In the end, you delete everything and pretend the whole photoshoot never happened.
5. Checking Someone's Last Seen Status
You swear you're not clingy, but when someone hasn't replied to your texts yet, you're immediately going to investigate. You might open WhatsApp to check their last seen status or look for clues that they've been active on Instagram. Of course, you'd never, ever admit it.
Dimitri Karastelev on Unsplash
6. Searching Your Own Name Online
Admit it: you've Googled yourself at least once. Even if you have a common name, you're still curious about what shows up. Is it your LinkedIn profile? Your portfolio website? You might even dig a little further to see which photos appear in image results, or whether others have mentioned you online.
7. Searching Other People's Names
Okay, now that you have a gist of what shows up when you search your name, what comes up for others? You're not comparing! But is it a crime to be curious? You just want to know if your search results are better (or worse) than theirs...
8. Drafting Messages Before Sending Them
Not that it really matters if you have typos or take too long to type out your replies, but you're still going to draft your messages out beforehand. That way, you can double-check them before the other person sees! After rereading it several times, though, you sometimes decide it's better to delete everything.
9. Looking Up Your Ex's New Partner
Yes, you've really, really moved on. But you heard through the grapevine that your ex is dating someone new, and it'll kill you if you don't find out who it is. Before you know it, you're sifting through that person's social media, examining their photos, and desperately trying to prove you're way better.
10. Pretending You Didn't See a Message
Oops, you didn't see that message your friend texted last Friday at 12:28 p.m.! Well, okay, fine—you did see it. But you just didn't feel like responding yet, or you wanted more time to think of a suitable reply. When you do text back, though, you'll hit them with the "Oh, I didn't see this until now!"
11. Checking How Many People Viewed Your Story
Posting an Instagram story can lead to an embarrassing amount of checking afterward. You want confirmation that you're popular, okay, it's not your fault. And it's not like you're the only one doing it, anyway! You just want to know if a particular person (your crush, shh) has watched it.
12. Re-Reading Your Ex's Messages
Again, you swear you're healed from the breakup, but you can't help but reminisce sometimes. So, every so often, you'll scroll through the old chat you had with your ex, re-reading all the love yous and memes you used to send to one another. Of course, you know it's all over now.
13. Using AI to Make Personal Decisions
Sure, you could ask your friends for advice, but why do that when there's a more convenient idea? Ask ChatGPT. Or Claude, whichever is your preferred chatbot. Whether you're wondering how to turn down a date or call in sick to work, you let AI do all the decision-making for you. Not that you'd tell anyone.
14. Taking Photos of Strangers
Yep, it's as weird as it sounds, which is why you'll never outright say you do this. And you know you shouldn't take photos of strangers without their consent, but sometimes, they just look so familiar (or attractive) that you need to snap a shot and show your friends later. Sorry.
15. Texting AI Like It's Your Friend
You don't just let AI make personal decisions for you. Instead, you treat AI like it's your friend, asking them how their day went, if they want to hear the gossip and "tea" about what happened at work, and which outfit they think would look best for a solo date. If anyone else saw your chat history, they'd probably be pretty alarmed.
16. Having Full-Blown Conversations with AI
Not only are you texting AI like it's your BFF, but you're also having full-blown conversations with it. Literally. You chat with it as though it were your therapist, or you might pretend like it's a real person. Heck, you might even treat it like it's your romantic partner!
17. Stalking Random People on TikTok
If people thought you were only stalking people through Instagram, they'd be wrong. You're also stalking random users you find on TikTok, because, well, you're a curious person. And a nosy one at that. You might even use TikTok more for stalking than watching videos.
18. Reading Fan Fiction
Is that Wattpad on your phone? Look, there's nothing wrong with wanting to read about being kidnapped by Harry Styles, even if you would never admit it. Plus, as subtle as you think you're being, people are going to be suspicious as soon as you lower the brightness...
19. Writing Fan Fiction
Heck, you're probably not just reading about eloping with Harry Styles—you're writing about it! Again, this is something you'd never tell another living soul (except for your fellow reader fans, of course), but that's not going to stop you from punching out Chapter 2: Buying a House with My New Husband.
20. Reading Spicy Novels
For the more "refined" readers out there (as in, you read "actual books"), we didn't forget about you. As much as you try to hide it, we can tell you're probably reading Colleen Hoover on your phone. That, or it's some dark romance novel you're never letting others know you read.
