Travelers Share The Worst Bathrooms They Have Ever Seen

There are times when the human body just has to release its bowels. Sometimes the timing of nature is convenient and the person can access a clean, ordinary restroom and take care of their business. Other times, however, can become absolute nightmares. People have been found hot-to-trot and heading for ditches, in strangers' basements, in terrible Chinese restaurants with no toilet paper. Below are several horrifying tales of bathroom moments. Be sure to learn from these poor folks the next time you may need to use the restroom in an emergency situation!

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36. Discovering The Unofficial Marathon Bathroom

I was running the San Antonio marathon. I show up the morning of and I'm heading toward the starting line, but first I need to stop and unload. Well, the porta-pottys are a zoo. The race starts in five minutes and there is no way I'm going to get through the line that quickly.

There are several fast food places around and I try those, but the lines in there are just as long. So, I see a dumpster tucked away in a little area behind a fast food place and decide to squat behind that.

Now, let me backtrack a bit. When you run a marathon, you will often get a little swag bag. It often has running related things in it and this particular bag had a pair of white gloves with a little Verizon symbol on it. I had the gloves with me because it was still early and a bit cold.

So, I go behind the dumpster and what do I see? Several huge piles of stained Verizon gloves littering the ground. Let's just say I added to the collection.

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35. Beware The Festival Porta-Potty

A porta-potty at a festival on a super hot day. The things in it were piled high above the water almost up to where the seat was. Used toilet paper all over. I had to do it. I squatted. I was sweating like crazy from the heat and almost fainting from the smell.

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34. Overfueling the Nightmare Fuel

I had to use one in the late afternoon at Valborg in Uppsala (basically 100k people, half of which are inebriated-since-sunrise students, are out and about all day).

It wasn't just full. It was overfilled. There was a pile of paper and every other worse thing you could think of that stuck up nearly 20 centimeters (seven inches) above the hole. I've honestly got no idea how it was even possible... either it had swollen up somehow, or people had been climbing onto the bench the hole was in and squatted to do their business.

Thankfully, I only had to go number 1, so I could stand up and do it, but it was not exactly a great experience.

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33. Bagging up Dirty Business

In a plastic bag in my basement.

Someone was showering in our only bathroom and my neighbors were having a party outside so I couldn't go in my backyard... I went down to the basement and took a shopping bag with me. I wrapped it in two more shopping bags after and non-nonchalantly walked it to the garbage bin in the back lane.

Photo by Jo Lanta on Unsplash

32. Paying the Luxury Price

An underground mall in China. I finally found a bathroom (a walled-off hole in the ground) but there was no toilet paper. I headed back out in a panic and see a garment stand. No time to negotiate gotta pay the sticker price. Run back to the hole and barely make it. Started to do my business squatting over the hole.

Fell backward during a push and the back of my t-shirt had what I assume was other peoples business on it. I started to wipe with the fake Chanel scarf I bought and it’s not getting the job done. Realize I have no choice but to use my t-shirt for round two. I left both in the hole and walked out topless. Then I bought a new shirt at the same horrible garment stand.

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31. Mind the McDonald's Man

I was 10 and my family was driving through some horrible urban place in the Northeast, for some reason. I had to go bad. So we stopped at a McDonald's. My dad goes in with me and sends me into the bathroom on my own. There is only one stall, and it's closed. I lean against the wall and wait. And wait... and wait. As I said, it was a bad situation. I started making grunting noises as it all becomes too much, but before I end up just going in my pants, the stall opens and this scary homeless man with wild red eyes comes out and asks if I need the bathroom. I said yes please, and he let me go in.

It smelled like death. There was a pile of rancid clothes in the corner - I could virtually see the stink waves coming off of them. In the toilet, there were like 100 substances. Immediately alarm bells start going off but I have got to use the bathroom. I flush the the toilet and sit down. I can hear the homeless guy shuffling around and breathing heavily outside the stall.

It didn't all come out easy. After only a minute of sitting and pushing, I hear "HEY!" as the homeless guy starts pounding on the door. If only this had actually scared the stuff out of me. "I left my bag in there! Let me in! Don't touch my bag! Don't touch my bag, kid!" I had no idea what to do. I opened the door and let him in. He went straight for the pile of clothes and pulled a bag out from underneath them. Thank god, he just grabbed the bag, apologized, and turned back around and left the stall. Even as a 10-year-old, I realized how stupid what I'd just done was, pinched the loaf, and left without even wiping.

30. Pinch off a Loaf for the Bees

I had to go to the bathroom in a latrine. I didn’t realize until I was squatted over the hole that bees lived in there. So while I’m trying to go Number Two, there are bees an inch away from a very sensitive part of me. I no longer fear death.

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29. Cutting the Rope in Europe

My dad told me when he was in Europe he went to this nice fancy club to use the restroom and pretty much it was just a hole in the ground.

CompostboerderIJ

28. Don't Drop One in a Laos Bus

In a bus in Laos. The bus had a rudimentary toilet installed, but the road was horrible—huge potholes and bumps. So not only was the tiny stall gross because everything was just splashing about, but occasionally a big splash would touch my backside as I was hovering over the hole...

I had the runs, so I didn't have much choice but I did consider just going in my pants and throwing it all out the window. In retrospect, that might have been the more hygienic option.

Baolau

27. Painting the Arby's Bathroom

Arby's women's bathroom (I'm a guy). I was driving to an early Saturday class when the urge hit strong. I screeched into the Arby's parking lot and ran from the car, leaving it parked diagonally across multiple spaces. Restroom doors were outside so I grabbed the men's room handle. Locked! Ran inside and yelled, "Men's room key!" Everyone in the place stopped and stared, of course.

The cashier told me the men's was occupied; said to just use the women's. So I ran back out and into the women's room. It started before I could sit all the way down, so I ended up getting it on the back of the seat and the wall (now I know how that happens in public restrooms). THEN I had a mega-mess of wipage, meanwhile poor ladies who needed to go kept innocently tapping on the door, only to hear my deep voice shouting "OCCUPIED!"

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26. Don't Squat in His Parent's Lot

In my boyfriend’s parent’s driveway.

I got the ‘feeling’, and I wasn’t loving the idea of using their toilet (which is located very close to the family room where we were all sitting) and signaled to my boyfriend that it was time to get going.

We only live five minutes away, so we left, but I had, unfortunately, misread my signals and had to go NOW... cue me violently going at the end of their (rural) driveway while apologizing profusely.

My boyfriend said nothing while he fished around in the glovebox for some napkins, and I was mortified.

Alls well that ends well though, he married me and occasionally uses the story for casual blackmail if I’m being annoying.

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25. Trading Bathrooms in an Emergency

A man's bathroom in a little café.

I went into a little café that had two bathrooms: One was for men and the other was for women. One toilet and a sink was behind each door, so they were one-person bathrooms.

The women's bathroom was occupied and it was a dire emergency for me because I was about to go all over the place. For the last hour, I had been having incredible indigestion pains that always happen before I have an issue. I couldn't wait any longer so I went ahead to the men's bathroom and proceeded to relieve myself quite dramatically, stinking up the whole place. I was in there for a good five to ten minutes.

I finished, washed my hands, and opened the door to a line of four men and three women all waiting to use the two bathrooms. My face turned bright red because I'm not a man, and I just stunk up the men's bathroom with a horrible smell. I didn't even end up buying anything at the café because I just wanted to get out of there quickly and quietly.

ELIZABETH DANIELS PHOTOGRAPHY

24. Check Your Applebee's Menu for Laxatives

I was just getting to know a guy I eventually dated for awhile. We went with the mutual friend out to eat at an Applebee’s.

Two hours later he’s asking if I want to come in. As I go to get out, my stomach lets me know I’m in serious trouble out of literally nowhere. Make up an excuse and pull off quickly to another street and go in a cup in front of someone’s house.

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23. Busting the Bum in Beijing

In a hole in a Chinese bathroom in Beijing. The floor was wet so my shorts got wet with what was most likely some kind of sewage or worse. There weren't even handlebars to brace myself while holding myself over the hole so I had to maneuver a lot. The cold air rising from the hole felt very uncomfortable.

Oh yeah, and no toilet paper so I had to text my girlfriend at the time to bring me some toilet paper. Apparently, everyone carries TP around and I didn't get the memo.

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22. Unloading Timber in Alaska

I was taking a walk with my husband in the woods (Alaska, so everything was the woods) on a path next to a railroad track. I realized I had to go so we turned around to head back home. It soon became apparent that there was no way I was getting home so I ducked behind a bush to take a squat.

Mid-way I looked up to find three very surprised railroad workers looking at me. I smiled and waved, they nodded and waved, my husband waved, they gave him a hello. We all found something on the ground to study and I continued my epic embarrassment.

Photo by Tiago Gerken on Unsplash

21. Checking Out the Basement Squatter

I work in construction and one time I had to go so bad that I did it in a box under the stairs in the basement of a house I was working in.

Unfortunately, it was the same time the homeowner and their young daughter came on the job site to check the house and decided to check out the basement.

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20. Watch Out for the Dog Droppings

My mum taught at the same high school I went to and she was staying late for a meeting on a Friday night so I was allowed to go and wait in her office. A few hours later, I became busting to use the restroom and ran to where the closest building with toilets was.

It had been locked up! I realized that most buildings would be now locked up as it was six p.m. on a Friday and I was desperate so I squatted behind one of the portable classrooms and dropped it. On Monday at assembly, we were told to watch out for wild dogs at the school and I'm pretty sure what I left behind that portable was the reason for this.

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19. Ruining Romances

In front of my crush.

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18. Running With the Runs

Worst place: I got the runs in the middle of a three mile running trail in the middle of the woods.

I had to find a secluded spot to wander off the track and let it go. And of course I couldn't wipe properly, so I had to walk awkwardly all the way back home.

Breakheart Outdoors

17. Unloosing Between Two Cabooses

In between two train cars on the subway.

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16. Drilling The Deuce

When I was in the fire academy we only had set bathroom breaks and about 10 minutes to do it in. There was roughly 40 of us and two stalls, so usually, a line of about 20 people were waiting.

You would wait your turn, sit on the hot seat, and go. Honestly, after a few weeks, you got used to it. But it wasn’t great.

Dallas News

15. Avoid the Middle of Nowhere Station

Driving back from Denver to Minneapolis. I stopped in some godless no-name gas station somewhere in Nebraska and had no other choice but to go then and there.

It looked like 50 different people with IBS had used it before me and there were spider webs throughout the bathroom. I literally watched a cockroach run by my foot. The dude at the register was the only person in the gas station and he looked like he wasn't very aware of his surroundings.

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14. Steam the Piles

Bathrooms in Kuwait and Iraq: 100 degrees plus, smelly and little holes in the ground.

Orange Smile

13. Steer Clear of the Hot Sauce Before the Convoy

A guy ate tons of hot sauce before a convoy. The convoy is underway, he is the gunner and can't leave. He has to do number two. His buddies and I hold up an MRE bag and he goes in the bag.

The things you do for a friend.

Army Times

12. Sledding in Lake Placid

The summer following the Lake Placid Olympics, my family was vacationing in upstate New York (visiting relatives, mostly). People were allowed to explore the Olympic venues, such as walking the luge & bobsled runs. Ten-year-old me was very excited to run up an down the luge run. So much so, in fact, that the pressing need in my abdomen was ignored, until it was too late.

The solution my furious father came up with was to have me remove my shorts, use them as best I could to wipe the backs of my legs, and chuck them over the side, into the woods. He then had me remove my t-shirt and use it was a makeshift wrap around my waist to conceal me as I shuffled to the parking lot, sobbing.

Photo by Bill Pennell on Unsplash

11. Drop the Deuce Before the Test

During the SAT at my highschool, all the bathrooms were closed. Five minutes before the test began I got the urge. I literally ran around the entire school but I couldn't find an open bathroom. SO I ran behind my school near the soccer fields, did a wall sit on a building and let loose. However, to my horror, I noticed that in between the buildings in front of me I could clearly see a girls soccer game on in full play.

They could (potentially) see me too if they looked—thankfully I don't think anyone saw me. I had to use leaves to wipe myself up but it wasn't a clean job. And the leaves had little berries on them. I had to sit in it all for four hours. The smell was bad the whole time. I got a 1300 on that test (old version). Worst day of my life.

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

10. Demand the Teachers Respect: Show Yourself to the Restroom

As it turns out, seventh grade science class.

It came on me like bowelish fire. Unprepared for the situation, my first impulse was to simply leave the room and head to the nearest bathroom; restraining myself, I removed my agenda planner from my backback and approached the teacher. (Not sure how it’s done now, but back then we had a small—very small—number of hall passes printed on the inside cover of our yearly agenda planner. Never enough for frequent dumpers, but ample supply for a kid like me.)

Anyways. I ask to get signed out for the bathroom, and she straight-away refuses. If I’d had time to even imagine being told no to such a basic bodily request, I might’ve put up an argument; instead, addled by mounting pressure, I slunk away, momentarily defeated, and I guess the dumber part of me imagined that the simple act of sitting down again might, I dunno, break-apart the bumbomb gathering strength within.

No such luck.

A squirmish handful of minutes go by. Sweat collects. It feels as if all the eyes are on me. I’m out of options. I try again, slower to my feet this time, even slower to the teacher’s desk.

“I really need to use the restroom,” I say, breathless.

“Wait for passing period.” She doesn’t even glance up at me.

And then the tumblers click into place, and I know what to say: “I’m going to the restroom. You can sign me out, or write me up. I don’t care. I’ll be back when I’m done.”

Turn on heels. Exit stage. It hasn’t been a problem since.

9. Drop Anchor in the Pants

My pants.

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8. Roller Coaster Runs

On a roller coaster. I thought, "Eh, I'll ride this then go use the restroom after." The ride got stuck for over an hour in the middle of the track. It was absolutely terrible; I almost got it all over myself.

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7. Dropping Dookie at the Bus Station

In a bathroom somewhere in Albuquerque at the bus station. There was trash everywhere, people sleeping on the floor, and the toilets wouldn't flush. That didn't stop people from using them. It was horrible. I felt bad contributing, but that gas station food I ate from Troy, New York all the way to New Mexico was not waiting anymore.

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6. Surviving the New Orleans Bathroom

Innisfree in New Orleans during 2014/2015 New Years games between Alabama and Ohio State. There was no door so many dudes were just watching me drop a number two and the toilet paper was on the floor, where apparently every guy chose to drop number one. I didn't care, I was far gone and grabbed the soaked TP and wiped what I could. I washed my hands and then went to a cleaner, classy bathroom to complete my mission.

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5. Making a Deposit to the Porcelain Bank

Stopped behind a bank after hours. It was late, nothing nearby was open, and I had floodwaters pounding on my sphincter. I squatted in the grass next to my car and did my best to clean up with some spare napkins I kept in my glove compartment.

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4. Fertilizing the Pot

I did it in a pot of soil in a garage after my landscaping job was over. It was a terrible job and I had a terrible boss and there was no bathroom, so I used the pot of dirt and covered it a bit; then I threw it in a ditch outside.

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3. Taking a Classy Dump

A man I know in some kind of sales visited a company for an appointment. He got there before they had opened and was sweating it. There were no bathrooms for miles around. So he pops a squat in his nice suit, on the outer reaches of the parking lot hidden between his car and some hedges. He gets done, sorts himself out, gets back in his car and moves his car to park close to the front. Once the place opens, he enters and signs in, he uses their restroom to freshen up. After a while, several people have made it in to work and he goes to the meeting to do his presentation. One of the late attendees says, "Hey, I found a wallet in the parking lot. I think it might be yours." My friend thanked him and it dawned on him the guy found the wallet where it fell out of his pocket right next to a big pile of the other thing he left there.

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2. Safari at Six Flags Shrubbery Dump

My 15th birthday my parents took me to Six Flags. We did the drive through Safari, but my stomach really starting hurting. By the time we were done driving through the Safari and had parked, my stomach was killing me. As soon I stepped out of the truck my intestines rumbled, hard. I looked at the huge line to get into the park, then looked across from me at a patch of woods. The choice was made for me when my intestines audibly rumbled and sent an emergency message to my brain "I can't hold on much longer!" I sprinted into the woods, squatted and got my pants down just in time to leave a large mountain of soft stool in the shrubbery. While looking for something to wipe with (I used leaves) I found some other stuff left there, which was cool... I guess.

1. Spotting the IED

Afghanistan for me. Except we were on a convoy and I had already held this goat meat in me for hours. Luckily for me, a potential danger was spotted and we had to wait for clearance. I hopped out, full gear pants barely down. Held on to the front of the striker for balance and exploded for about ten minutes.

Used a couple wipes from MREs and went on my way. Definitely didn’t clean it all the way up, and it was about 10 more hours until I had a chance to.

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