When I was in 8th grade, I created a fake email and sent an email to my principal about how 'I was a motorcyclist and I fell off my bike, injuring myself.' I wrote about how 'I was helped by this student passing by who helped bandage me and aided me in getting to the hospital.'

My principal read that email out loud in front of the whole school and asked me to stand, as a sign of recognition. I was placed in the spotlight for a good month and I was really happy.

Looking back on it now, I find it kind of stupid that I went so far to get attention, but hey, the past is the past and I'm a way better person now (at least I hope).

I go to college in midwestern United States. I live in a dorm an have a roommate who shares a bathroom with me. He's not from the United States and seems a little nervous to talk to anybody who isn't from his home country. The first few weeks of college, I started to notice pee on the toilet seat. No big deal, I cleaned it up. After about the 10th time, I asked him if he could stop peeing on the toilet seat, or if he does, wipe it up. He said okay and went on his day.

About 3 months later, I started to notice pee all over the floor, toilet seat, and all around the toilet; worse than before. I used my own toilet paper and started going through it very quickly, so it was getting expensive. I ended up walking over to his side of the counter and grabbing one of his extra towels. I've been using it to clean pee for about 1 month now and I've definitely noticed a change in color due to the urine and the fact that I've never seen him wash it.

I feel bad about it, but what he's doing is disgusting and I've tried to tell him to stop many times.

When I was 16 I got a job at McDonald’s. I hated making food and working front counter. I always asked to work drive thru window taking money at the first window. This was before credit cards so everyone paid in cash. All I would do is keep a quarter or dime of almost everyone’s change I gave back. I would put that extra quarter or dime in a special spot in the register. Once I got 5 or 10 worth of change I would dump the change into the right spot and pocket a 10 or 5. Some nights I would leave with over 50 bucks in cash (a lot to a 16 year old me).

No one ever caught on and only twice can I remember people telling me I gave them the wrong amount of change back. I would just act like a dumb kid who miscounted. I don’t know how nobody at work caught on because I always had a ton of change at the end of the day.

Me and my wife bought a new bed. A really expensive one, the kind that has separate firmness on each side. We spent hours and hours in the store, where my wife took her time testing and deciding what kind of lower mattress she wanted on her side. Beforehand, she had done extensive web research on what kind of bed would give her most happiness in life, and so on. Eventually she settled for one with firmness between soft and medium. Me, I couldn’t be bothered with that. I’ve always liked my beds soft, but the store lady said that with my body composition, I should have a hard mattress. So during a brief brain fart, I chose that.

Next morning, I knew I had messed up. The $2000 bed I’d just bought felt awful. Even worse, when installing it I’d taken the plastic wrapping off the lower mattresses so I couldn’t return them.

The solution - while my wife was at work I flipped the bed 180 degrees, so that now I have the soft mattress, and she has the concrete slab. There are two additional full width, thick mattresses on top of those, so it’s not immediately noticeable.

This was five years ago. I’ve slept like a baby ever since. My wife apparently still hasn’t noticed, at least she hasn’t said anything, and she seems to sleep well. She must never know, though.

We were at a gymnastics camp when we were teenagers and there was a swinging door that I had wanted to bust open with a sweet karate kick all week long. The only thing stopping me was that I was afraid there was going to be someone on the other side and I didn’t want to hurt anyone. Well the last day comes around and I said screw it, and kicked that door as hard as I could.

My friend and teammate was on the other side and the door caught on her big toe, pulling it back and breaking it so badly she couldn’t compete for almost a year, missed regionals, and ended up quitting. She just assumed I had pushed the door open like a normal person but nope. I karate kicked that thing. I still feel bad about it and it was about 15 years ago. Sorry girl.

My high school didn’t allow phones/tablets to be on your person throughout the school day, instead they made us all hand our devices in every morning and pick them up at the end of the school day. They provided us with these white cushioned envelope bags to protect them by it really did nothing.

Anyway one morning I was rushing to catch the bus and on the way out of my bedroom I decide to throw my iPad onto my bed. But it bounced off, landing face down on the slate tiles. I knew straight away it smashed from the sound, I stood there cursing myself until I had an idea. I grabbed my phone bag and put the broken iPad and shattered glass in it and took it to school.

I handed it in acting nonchalant about it and when it came time to pick it up in the afternoon I put my best shocked/sad face on as I opened the bag. I went to the nearest teacher and told her that I found my iPad broken. She took me to the office and eventually to the principal. At first she seen suspicious about the entire thing but when my dad (25 year army veteran) came in to pick me up, he gave her and the entire admin staff a spraying.

She originally agreed to pay for it to be repaired but when that couldn’t be done she agreed to buy a replacement model. But the thing is that the ipad was a 2nd gen model and it was 2014 so ended up getting a brand new model as well.

I never admitted it to anyone in school out of fear it would eventually lead to the principal finding out.

By the way, the teacher didn’t pay for it, the principal used the schools credit card.

A while back, when I was still in college, I lived with my then fiancée in a very over-priced apartment in a relatively big city. At the time, my job was only paying about $7.50/hr and I was studying and working full-time just to pay the bills. Basically a decent yet expensive apartment, and just enough money to pay the bills. Not much wiggle room.

Well one night my S/O was at work and I was at home, heating up some leftovers for dinner in our microwave and as I go to take the plate out, it slips and hits the door of the microwave on the inner edge and completely shatters the front of the microwave. So I'm freaking, expecting my S/O to come home mad at me and/or just stressing about having to buy another one. And then I saw a Walmart receipt on the counter and I went to Walmart.

It was probably around 9pm, my S/O was going to be getting off soon, so I'm rushing. I walk in, find the exact same model of microwave that we have, and grab it off the shelf. I took the receipt out of my pocket and held it with the microwave, and just walked out the door. After getting it out and setting it up I told my S/O I cleaned the microwave. Never told a soul about it. That was probably about 6 years ago... still using the microwave.

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I used to work at a Cheesecake Factory as a server. About 1.5 years ago my current boyfriend came in with some other girl for a date. I’m not sure what it is about my boyfriend but he just does it for me. He’s not at all my normal type of guy I’m attracted to but for some reason he just makes me melt every time I look at him.

He’s got this super self-assured smile and something about the way he talks gets me. He’s got this little chuckle he does and he always looks down and bites his lip after...he’s just like it for me.

So I immediately rushed over to their table. Typically, if I saw a guy I was attracted to I could give better service because I genuinely wanted to interact with him and everyone at the table and that usually lead to nicer tips.

When I started serving them, I couldn’t help myself and I was flirting super obviously. So much so my coworkers were telling me to be careful I didn’t get complained on. But he flirted back so I was like a shark who smelled blood in the water.

I spent so much time talking to him at their table other tables I was serving had to call out to me because I’d forget about them.

Honestly, looking back that was more of a date for me and him than her and him because we talked about what he did for work, what I studied, what my favorite foods are, what he likes, music. I must have been at that table, cumulatively, for around 40 minutes.

At the end of it she was being very short with me and him and I kind of figured she’d complain. So I said screw it, scribbled my number down and put it under his card when I gave it back to him.

He texted me that night and we’ve basically been dating since. I’m moving in with him on Friday.

It was honestly a very rude and lousy thing to do, but I’d do it over again in a second.

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At work we have a kitchenette and at the end of the day, my coworkers leave their dishes/mugs filled with oatmeal and other things left to soak. We even have a sign that states “Do not leave personal belongings in the kitchenette. We are not responsible for lost items”. I stay at work pretty late so I see the night janitor come in and clean. I noticed that he goes out of his way to wash the dishes and mugs, which isn’t a part of his job (our company only contracts them to do floors and trash so it’s our responsibility to clean up after ourselves).

My coworkers must have noticed too because they have since stopped doing their own dishes and has been leaving piles in the sink knowing that they will be magically washed and dried in the morning. They even make comments about the “Mexican sucker” that’s cleaning for them. This has been ongoing for a few weeks now and my coworkers even have the audacity to complain about water spots on their mugs.

So throughout the day when I find myself alone in the kitchenette, I take an item or two and toss them out in the building hallway trash so it can’t be found. We work in a building where we share office space with other businesses and there’s no cameras so I haven’t been caught yet. A coworker asked our manager about their items being taken, but my manager just reiterated the policy. I guess I am being petty, but my coworkers are trash and I don’t feel bad.

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Like the title says, my little brother (who was always the favorite one) came out to my family three years ago as trans and started her hormone therapy to become a woman. It was a bit of a shock but I love her and I wished the best for her. My parents were another story and essentially disowned her and never spoke of her again.

Since then, she's gone through insane changes -- hormones, surgery, and now she's fully passing as a woman. But she passes too well, like she's turned into a woman who's fashion model pretty and it's making me incredibly jealous and angry. It's like hormone therapy gave her the face the females have in my family, but with all the right proportions and then made her look younger by a decade.

Whenever we hang out, guys start talking to her and flat out ignore me. I've always been considered to be the ugly duckling between the two of us (before she was a she), and now she's considered the "hot" sister. Two months ago, she turned into a LITERAL model after someone came up to her on the street and asked her to audition for a new ad campaign (for a clothing chain). They had no clue she was trans because by now she's changed all her ID to her new gender.

I feel so guilty for thinking this, but I was secretly hoping that she would at least have some trouble with passing as a woman because I've been crapped on and bullied for my looks (family, friends, everyone) since I was a kid while she's always had a girlfriend/been good looking/hyper popular/better grades.

But no, I'm still the ugly one with horrible cramps that leave me paralyzed whenever it's shark week and she's the one getting modeling gigs while hot guys message her non-stop. I'm trying to be there to support her because she has no one else to turn to for family but her face is on billboards and bus ads now smirking back at me daily. She asks me for advice and confides me in me about things that I've never even had opportunity to have.

It's petty to think this way but I hate my life right now.

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I came over to his house one morning to surprise him with breakfast and a video game he wanted, only to find him naked, asleep, and with his ex curled up in his arms.

He didn’t hear me come in, so I closed his bedroom door, and left his breakfast and game on the kitchen counter along with my key to his house.

I went to my car, deactivated my Facebook, and blocked him on all other forms of social media. I then called my phone provider to change my number before driving off.

I texted family members and close friends that we were no longer together and to block him on social media, as well. I didn’t tell them why.

I was in a position to end the lease at my apartment early, and I started a new job in a different city later that week.

I completely removed myself from him and didn’t offer a shred of explanation or opportunity for dialogue. I disappeared from his life after his betrayal and I think it’ll not only help me to focus on myself without his presence, but I think completely shutting myself off from him will hurt worse than anything when he thinks on how good he had it with me these last 5 years.

I was 16, at school, hanging out with my friends, and a couple of people that were... not so much my friends.

A couple of girls had a habit of kicking guys in the balls over nothing, smallest disagreements, mutual insult-throwing, or even for "fun".

I had warned them before, that I would someday do something they ain't gonna like, if they kept it up. Of course they had to put that to the test. Gotta see just how much you can abuse people, before you give it up.

So we were standing in a circle, apparently I said something she disagreed with. Wasn't even an insult or anything.

She feints to kick me in the balls. I tell her again, if she does that, something's gonna happen. She apparently takes it as a challenge, gives me the hardest kick in the balls I ever received, I collapse, feel like dying, puking, crapping my pants, can't breathe, absolute agony.

Some of my friends are concerned, scold her. Some jerks, including her, are laughing their butts off, while I'm trying not to break into tears.

I stand up 5 minutes later, feeling worthless, she's still laughing.

I get the greatest rush of anger and emotional pain pent up over 2 years of those idiots kicking me and other guys, including some of my friends, in the balls like we're less than dogs, and before I can think, my fist catapults itself into her ugly, laughing face. She collapses with blood streaming from her nose, wailing like a child, as if she didn't like being put in so much pain that she collapses. Weird.

Her like-minded friends look like they've seen a ghost, start screaming insults at me in sheer disbelief, and even though I was suspended for two weeks, and she got no punishment whatsoever, this was the most satisfying, liberating thing I've ever done, and I regret nothing. Got a reputation as an "abuser" among some classmates, as if I randomly attacked gentle, harmless girls, who actually deserve being protected, for the fun of it, but my friends stayed by my side, and no more balls were kicked after that.

When I was 19 I was running late to work in my tiny economy car and on fumes of gas I didn’t come to a complete stop on a right turn. Lights behind me so I pull over. I know I’ve barely got any gas at all and was almost to a gas station, hence why I rolled through the stop a little. Trying not to have the car die.

At the time (around 1995) a new digital phone had come out called Voicesteam (now TMoblie) and their whole big thing was the phones were digital and not cellular. They were the first phones with caller ID and one of the big things the salesman had said over and over was since it was digital the signal couldn’t be triangulated or traced. Not that I cared but it stuck in my mind.

Well as I give the cop my license, registration and insurance card I got an idea. I knew if I was late to work I was going to lose my job. They were super strict there.

So I get an idea and right after I hand the papers to the cop and he’s walking back to his cruiser I called 911 and tell the operator I just saw a guy with what looked like a shot gun walk into a 7-11 that was about 2 blocks away. I confirmed the address then I hung up.

About 30 seconds later the cops comes sprinting to my car and hands me all my stuff and rushed says, “come to a complete stop next time!!” Then peels off to the direction of the store.

Pushed my car to the gas station that I’d almost made it to and felt pretty pleased with my ingenuity.

I was an idiot and I confess!

My college has a food court in one of the main buildings. Chick Fil A, sandwich place, salad bar, etc. You get your food and pay at the exit. Every single time I’ve eaten lunch there since I was a freshman, I grab a bottle of water with my meal, walk up to pay, and say, “I brought the water in.”

The employees aren’t paid enough to care, and I pay enough in tuition to not feel bad about it.

Got a new job about three months ago from a competitor of my old employer. Decent pay increase as a project manager, fortune 300.

When getting hired, was told my team was getting assembled, and was given some prelim work to do but was warned it may be a week or two.

I complete the work a lot sooner than expected, and, after asking my boss if there was anything to do and being told “not yet” sit on my thumbs for a few days, assuming HR will be in touch with the status of the hires.

About a month goes by, and still nothing. I try to be helpful, e-mailing other managers asking if they needed a second eye on anything, and asking my boss/a few people under me if they need help on any projects, yet no long term goal can be found and for the most part I essentially do nothing but play on my phone and day trade. (I have my own office.)

I check in weekly with a member of HR, but hear little back.

Eventually, my boss retires, and the new interim guy is from another department, I’m friendly with him, but its clear he’s a bit over his head, so I figured I’d wait a few days to let him know my situation. Eventually though, he comes into my office to “thank me” for doing good work on the initial pre-setup I had done a month ago. After that, he essentially leaves me to my own devices. At this point, I had written close to a dozen e-mails to HR, and even my boss's boss, but always got non committal responses.

It’s now been close to three months and outside of extremely minor favor tasks and my initial pre-planning, I’ve essentially done nothing, and have not been asked what I’m doing once. I occasionally walk around the production floor with a clipboard taking notes so I’m seen, but I seriously feel like even if I didn’t NO ONE would notice. My new boss doesn’t seem to realize I’m one of his workers, and essentially leaves me alone, lost in the shuffle of a huge company.

A bit annoying, but I’m not complaining and I have documented proof of me trying to fix this situation. Until someone notices though, I’m happy to do nothing while getting $35 an hour.

My wife and I have been married for 4 years.

When we met she was a tiny little terror. Like the Tasmanian Devil had a baby with Barbie. So freaking adorable and sweet, but she was a tornado. She drank like 6 cups of coffee every single day. So much caffeine for a tiny person. If you didn't know her you would swear she was on something harder. I loved her so much that I knew I could put up with it if I had to, but if I didn't have to, I would try to find a way.

So the month before our wedding, I decided to try replacing her coffee with decaf for to see if it made a change. And Lord have mercy, it was incredible. It was a nightmare the first two weeks. She had the biggest attitude and was so crabby, but I knew we could make it through it. Afterwards it was the best! She was still sweet, and spunky, and adorable, but she wasn't leaving a trail of destruction behind her anymore. I was amazed! So I decided that from that moment on, I would no longer supply her with regular coffee. I would make every Starbucks run, I would buy regular and decaf ground coffee so I could replace the regular coffee in the package with decaf coffee.

The only time she has regular coffee is when she orders it herself, which is like maybe once a week. But it makes her really jittery and she doesn't understand why. It's been this way for 4 years. She has no idea, and I am hoping to keep it that way. We are talking about having kids in the next year or so, so I'm hoping that I can convince her to go full decaf on her own at that time and then I won't have to keep this up anymore.

I worked at a fast food chain in the 90's when I was in high school. When I worked there they were in the process of phasing out denominational gift certificates ($5, $10 & $25). The way is worked was if you spent more than half of the certificate they gave you the cash back. So if you ordered $5.50 worth of food and gave them one of the $10 gift cards, they gave you the $4.50 back in cash. My manager was in charge of destroying all the existing certificates as we transitioned to the more traditional credit card looking gift cards.

So my manager said he shredded the certificates like he was supposed to, but one night when I was closing I found two boxes of the gift cards tucked deep in the dry storage room. They were FILLED with the certificates that were supposed to be shredded. So, I scooped them up, brought them out to the dumpster in trash bags and threw them away. After we closed, I came back and recovered the bag, and brought the certificates home. I counted them. There were 1,000 $25, 1,000 $10, and 500 $5 certificates. None of them had expiration dates. Total haul was $40K in fast food certificates. My manager never said a word, he couldn't. He had reported them destroyed weeks earlier.

Over the next three years my girlfriend and I toured every location in our state, and the next 4 states ordering food, and getting the change. We never kept track on a spreadsheet or anything, but we got good at knowing what menu items were just about half.

After the first year, we started saving the change in a shoe box, and let it build up.

I bought my first car for $7,800 cash from the change. A kiddie cone was $1.05, if you gave them a $5 cert they gave you $3.95 back. We threw away a lot of kiddie cones.

I stopped reporting to my parole officer in 2011. I recently had a beautiful baby. Tomorrow I'm turning myself in. Can't be a father if I'm a wanted man. I have 12 years hanging over my head. I've never experienced abject terror before today. I'll never be able to say that sentence again. I'm not even sure why I'm posting. I have a great support network, but I'm still terrified. Of the consequences. Of losing everything. Of missing the beginning of my child's life. I don't fear prison. Prison is actually the easiest part of all this. When I went to prison the first time, I just didn't care. Now I have everything to lose. I'm stepping off a cliff with no idea where I'll land.

I was married for 15 years to my high school sweetheart. We had two beautiful kids (13 & 9). For many reasons, we divorced.

Skip to me starting to date again a year later. I meet an amazing woman almost right away (first month of dating again). We have a ton in common. We fall in love very quickly. She tells me early on that she wants kids. I had never wanted more kids. Two was more than enough for me. I had even made an appointment to get snipped later that year. But this woman is perfect for me, and having kids is a dealbreaker for her. So I decide I could do this all again - for her, for us.

I’m approaching 40 when we finally start trying. Due to some health complications (she’s over 35, and has high blood pressure), we ended up having to do IVF. It worked, and we were pregnant soon afterwards. But...

Our son was born prematurely (they warned us this was a possibility due to her age/health). He had to stay in the NICU for three months. My new wife developed post partum due to the stress. We found out our son had cerebral palsy. A milder form, but he had it. Our world shifted from being a happy couple with a new baby to a depressed and stressed couple dealing with a child that has a lifelong disability. This is not how I perceived my second chance at happiness was going to be.

I won’t leave my wife. And I will love and take care of our son forever. But not a day goes by where I don’t regret my decision to have more kids. I should have listened to my gut from the beginning and called off the relationship early on. She wanted kids, and I didn’t. But I did this for her. Now I’m depressed, financially strained, and my future isn’t the relaxing one I pictured. I can never tell my wife this, of course. And I feel bad even writing this to you all of you. But I just needed to get it out.

I'm supposed to be posting and marketing products the sect makes online, and one of my mothers checks the search history nightly, but everyone is too dumbed down to realize that incognito is a thing. So when everyone is gone doing work and I'm made to post the listings on the internet, I will go on incognito and browse world news and Twitter feeds and whatever else.

I'm 19.

If they found out I would definitely not be left with so much freedom and I'd be punished, yeah. Even if I'm now a adult by the government's standards, I'm still treated like a child in this sect, so I'd probably get a serious beating.

I'm actually really lonely and empty all of the time. For the people who post their information and pictures and lives on the internet... you really do a lot for me and it helps me get through these days.

Thank you so much.

Yeah I cheated. I didn’t write any of my papers, I didn’t do any of the work myself. I stole a lot of work. Took only classes anyone I knew did and used all their work for it with minor changes. I made it through 6 years and got two degrees. I got a scholarship out of high school by cheating, I cheated during the SAT, I cheated most of my life and I feel a little bad but not really. Thanks to a couple real ones for holding it down for me, wouldn’t have made it this far without you.

Back in high school I used to work the concession stand. In my school the booth was a little folding table where I would sell water, pop and chips.

To anyone that was a visiting team I would charge $.25-.50 more on the items they wanted to buy, and I would keep it.

I ended up making somewhere around $3,000 doing this for my high school career, and no one ever found out because I didn’t charge anyone from the home team the same amount.

This was back in... let me think, maybe 1997? I was 38 and my daughter was 18, and she was dating Harry, who was 24. I was a heavy partier back then. I was not a good person, let alone mother. Not like I was abusive to my daughter or anything but I was generally inattentive and cared more about my fun than her, especially in her teen years. I am 14 years sober now.

I disproved of my daughter dating Harry, but I never told her why. He would flirt with me, constantly, and the age difference also creeped me out. Also, he was a party animal, just like me. She broke up with him over his drinking.

Soon after she moved away, not too far but regardless she didn't live with me anymore. Harry kept calling me and asking if Iwanted to get drinks. I turned him down, but then one day he said he had a bunch of 'party favors' and I couldn't resist. He came over, we did the stuff, and we ended up hooking up. He was a very good looking guy.

For the next few months, maybe like 3-4 months, he would sometimes come over and we would party and do it.

Then I got pregnant. I knew it was by him. I never told him; I just terminated the pregnancy and kept it a secret.

Anyways, I stopped seeing him after that, it was too weird. I also got sober, for like 4 months, before relapsing. Fast forward 2 years and my daughter contacts me and tells me that she got back with Harry, and that he is fully sober. I was mortified, honestly. He was gonna tell her that we slept together, and she is going to hate me for life. They came over one day and when my daughter was gone, Harry told me that there is no reason to tell her about what happened. I agreed.

Its been 16 years of marriage on their part. They have a kid together. Harry got cancer, then beat it. I got sober. That's basically it.

I don't see them very often. But whenever I do there is always that tension between me and Harry, its literally the first thing that comes to either of our minds, I can just tell. Not like sexual tension, like "why did we have to do that? What in the world is wrong with us?" kind of tension.

I'm writing this as a confession because I don't know where else to speak about this and I don't want my kids finding this out on my main account.

My friend died a few months back due to heart problems. He was taking care of himself so it was a shock to everyone. Especially his wife who was with him at their house when he died. Due to this she decided to move somewhere else and because she and her daughter were still distraught she asked me to pack up his stuff.

He had some boxes in his basement and after a while I started feeling nostalgic and decided to look into them. I found pictures of us from when we were kids all the way to before we got married. That was enough to make me feel bad and I just got back to taping them up.

But one of the boxes seemed to be in much better condition, so I decided to check it in case it was something important. To my surprise I found out pictures of him and my wife from when we used to hang out together, as well as more recent pictures from family reunions. The most recent being from my wife's birthday party.

Alongside the pictures there were letters that he never sent her. The first one dated 2 months before I met her. The last one was also the same date of her birthday party. There was one that stood out the most was one from after I started dating her. He wrote that his time had passed and since my happiness was as important as his own he would watch over us.

I'll keep his box safe since it isn't my secret to reveal.

I was not in a good mental spot. It wasn't some big epic fight that started it. We had a disagreement and I flipped. I didn't black out, I was fully aware of my actions.

We were in a happy relationship, at that point 3 years in. I woke up one day and we had a little arguement over something I don't even remember now. He tried walking away to let me cool off and I lost it. I grabbed my gun, told him we were going to talk. I loaded it and held him at gunpoint in our bedroom for about 8 hours. I had never been violent before, no warning signs etc. He talked me out of it and instead of calling the police he got me the help I needed through medical professionals.

I was diagnosed with PTSD, social anxiety and depression (possible stemming from the PTSD).

He was there for me every step of the way, and the guilt I feel will never go away from my actions. Life could of gone such a different way if I pulled the trigger. This was 10 years ago, and we are married and have 2 beautiful children. Looking at us now, no one would imagine what happened. We never told anyone, and he stood by me at my darkest moment.

Mental health problems are real. Instead of locking me away, and running for the hills he helped me when I needed it the most. The resulting life we are living together is more then I could have ever imagined.

I used to work at this restaurant and the management there was just awful and the GM was just very verbally abusive. She always would complain about everything. One thing specifically annoyed her: how there would be 1 or 2 customers who would order food and then never show up. When that happened, she would let the servers and hosts eat the food. So it gave me an idea.

One day she said something that really made me mad, so I called in and ordered a bunch of food under a different name and then that “customer” of course never showed up. It made her livid and it gave me the bold idea of doing that whenever I wanted a free lunch. I started to do it an hour or so before my break and I would order whatever I felt like eating that day and when they’d call and cancel I’d ask a supervisor if I could have the food and they’d say sure.

I did this for the entire 3 years that I worked there 2 times a week, sometimes even 3. I didn’t ever get caught, and I’ve even had a coworker help me by being the one to answer the phone. It was kinda funny and that place was awful, so they kinda deserved it.

I should also add that this was a chain restaurant worth millions of dollars. I would never do something like this to a small or family-owned restaurant. Also I know I’m wrong for stealing, I was 16 and was trying to enrage my GM for being a jerk to her staff.

One college summer break 8 years ago my friends and I were bored. We remembered a demonstration from a high school science class of a "Solar Balloon". This was just a really thin black plastic bag you'd fill with air, seal, and then set out in the sun. The sun would heat the air in the black bag and the bag would become buoyant and float.

We had the idea to find the cheapest/thinnest black plastic trash bags available and combine a bunch of them to make a huge balloon. We spent a few days driving around to Walmarts and dollar stores trying different brands to find the thinnest possible plastic bag and thinnest tape which would work the best. Finally we took a number of them, cut off the bottom ends, and taped them together into a huge balloon which we filled up with a leaf blower and then tied the end. After sitting out in the sun for a half hour or so we had done it!

We had to mess around with how the tape was sealing the bags to use as little of it as possible as the weight of the tape added up and made the balloon harder to float.

This was disappointing, but we made another one and got funny looks from cars driving by and were entertained for a bit. Shortly after that this new balloon met its demise smacking into a tree and getting popped. Oh well, mission success.

A few years later I happened across this news article. The balloon that got away had apparently blown a town over and caused a big UFO panic. People were calling 911, the police, and local radio stations about it. Our boredom unintentionally created a UFO panic in central NJ. I moved out of the area but when I get together with my friend we always bring this up and have a good laugh.

I was only 20 years old and I nannied for this little baby boy. The mom seemed off. She would sleep the entire time I was there in the mornings, or go on three hour runs, or sometimes would just go about her business around the house - completely ignoring me.

One time we both sat in the living room while the baby was sleeping in his room. I was reading a book (studying) and she sat there eating McDonald’s and watching her show. She did not say a word to me the entire time.

Well, one day when she was out I snooped around and found her journal. I read the whole thing. Then got sad for her because she was so unhappy in her marriage and in life.

I ended up working for her for three years and we became close. But that first year was so uncomfortable and awkward. In retrospect, it seems very obvious that she was suffering from post pregnancy depression.

My brother and I have a very bad relationship, there's a lot of yelling and cussing but we never got physical until one night he came home very angry and just started punching and kicking me. Our parents weren't home so I guess that's why he felt brave. I ended up with a busted lip, a black eye and a bunch of bruises all over my body. After that our father sent him away for a while. A few days later I used my mom's phone to "accidentally" call his girlfriend and left it on while I talked to my mom how worried I was that he was capable to beat up his little sister, imagine what he could do to his girlfriend.

The next day, the girl showed up at our house saying that she wanted to hang out with the family, which was really weird because she would only do that when my brother was at home. But when she saw me she started freaking out asking what had happened and if it had anything to do with my brother. My mom ended up telling her and she dumped him the same day.

Dad bought himself a metal detector because we've been going to the beach quite a lot, and he wanted to see what he could find. Well one day he set his detector up, walked to the beach and went on his way to bag himself some gnarly trinkets. He'd been doing it for about 20 minutes at this point and nothing came of it but we were nearing the end of that section of beach.

He looked more and more disappointed with every step he took, so i walked ahead and discreetly placed £7 worth of coinage in the sand, on his path, but a metre away from each other (so about £2 in each hole kinda thing) . He found it and had the cutest, most smug smile ever and was screeching with excitement with every find. We eventually got home and he showed the family what he'd found and mum was actually quite surprised.

Although dad has a good job and £7 is a laughable amount to him, the pure joy he got from finding SOMETHING, is definitely worth not telling anyone what really happened that day.

I went to an elite university right after high school. My marks weren't great but they were good enough to squeeze me in. I spent most of my time in University partying rather than studying but still managed to pass all of my first year classes. In my second year I skipped a lot of classes and was very lazy with the course work. My marks were terrible and I failed a couple of my courses. In my third year about half way through I dropped out and got a job landscaping.

I did that for a year when I realized it really sucked and I began to regret not trying harder while I was in school. I figured I would apply to jobs that would normally require the degree that I would have gotten. I had spent the few years in school I was easy enough to make the timeline on my resume make sense and although I dropped out I had a decent knowledge of the area.

The field I was attempting to enter is difficult start out in and it took a few months of sending applications to get an interview. The company I got an interview with (my now current employer) is an internationally recognized name in the energy sector. I was extremely surprised to get my interview. One of the documentation requirements was university transcripts and with an hour or two in photoshop I had my proof of graduation. I sent in the papers with the other required information and never heard anything back describing any problems with my records. I ended up going through three interviews in the process and received a position.

I have have now been working with this company for almost 5 years. They provided all the necessary job training and nobody has ever questioned my education. I entered with a starting salary of $72,500 and received annual raises. Upon hiring me I was told that the management staff was quite impressed with me through the hiring process and that they usually only hire applicants with minimum requirement of a Masters Degree.

I basically crapped my pants everyday while in the interview/training process but now I don't really think about it ever. I didn't tell me university friends I faked having my degree. The only people that know I did this are my parents.

When I was in college, I illegally parked my bike onto a sign post. I did this because all the bike slots were overflowing everyday and there just wasn't enough parking for all the students. So I locked it to a nearby sign post. I can't remember what it said, probably 'no parking'. Anyways, I locked it, went to class, and when I came out it had a lock on it from the campus police along with a ticket. It was one of those heavy duty U-shaped metal bar locks.

I walked home that day, then later at night when nobody was around, I went back to my bike, worked the sign post out of the ground, which was compact crushed stone, and got my bike free. The lock was still on my frame, but I could ride it. I lay the sign on the ground, rode back home, then the next day I borrowed a stone wheel attachment for a drill and cut through the lock. It wore down the attachment, but I got out of a $15 ticket. Yes, I was an idiot, but I was determined not to not let the 'man' win.

My 6th grade son had a school assignment last semester to write a poem. He was struggling as he’s not the least bit interested. Since I was a child I had always wanted to be a writer. I spent 5 minutes and wrote a quick (dumb to me) poem for him to turn in.

Unbeknownst to me his teacher submitted it to a poetry contest which he won, and it’s now going to be published in the middle school’s Anthology.

Back in grade school, when I was about 10, I stole $40 from my mothers purse to use whenever I wanted to buy something. Once I got to school that day though I saw one of the other kids had a can of dill pickle Pringles which are still my absolute favorite to this day. So my stupid 10 year old self gave him all $40 for that single and enjoyed every single of those delicious chips.

When I came to school the next day though the same kid I bought the Pringles from gave me back the $40 while crying because apparently his mom screamed at him to give it back and now he couldn’t buy candy with it because his mom wouldn’t let him keep it. I held on to that money for a couple days until my mom started looking around and asking if I had seen the money laying around since it wasn’t in her purse.

So once I realized how I’d get my butt smacked if she found out I hid it under the couch and ‘found’ it about 30 minutes later. I never got caught but still look back on it and laugh that I essentially got some Pringles for free from the whole ordeal.

Years ago I made a new email address and got two potential buyers for a PlayStation that I was pretending to sell. I confirmed a date and time with both of them. Decided on the mall near a certain store. I asked what they'd be wearing so I could find them. I gave them each other's description for myself, and then went and hung out.

One walked up to the other. You could tell there was an immediate confusion. They started arguing over who had what. You could see them get mad once they realized what happened and wasted their time. They both stormed off on their phones. Sure enough, I got angry emails from both of them.

I feel kind of bad about it, but it was a funny interaction to witness.

I called the restaurant my boss was supposed to have her birthday party at and canceled it because she let me go without any notice. I was an employee at this company for 10 years and brought in a ton of business for this woman. Never had one smudge or blemish on my record.

Screw you, Cathy, I hope your birthday was miserable!

While on a plane a few months ago, a depressed business man that was sitting right next to me started talking about his problems and how he failed to find a good therapist. 'I would pay a fortune just to find a good one' he said before asking me what do I do.

Yeah, you guessed what I answered. After that he asked me if we can do it remotely on the phone. 'Even better', I thought, just like that guy from 'Catch me if you can'.

After our first calls, the guy was so impressed with me, he told his friend about me.

I was now dealing with 2 clients and the guilt started to creep in. After a month or so of 'therapy', I confessed to them both. They didn't care.

"You're the best," they said.

My secret? I'm a hard core misanthrope. And oddly enough, this makes them extremely comfortable. Nothing is too shameful to share (I already assume the worst about people), I look at life from the perspective of a detached observer (I'm objective in my analysis), I am a great listener (I barely talk, because I know that what they need is to vent, not to ask for solutions), I am well read, I traveled the world, I made money (I can empathize with whatever they are talking about), I like listening (I find it very educational) and I sell no BS.

So yeah. They are bringing in a third client. It's my pleasure.

Many moons ago I was working for a large technology company. It was common practice for managers on the same team to exchange some sort of token holiday gift just before Christmas - something under $20.

One of these managers was a very nasty woman who was quietly bullying some of her employees and one of the other managers on our team. We were trying to deal with her through the proper channels but, the holidays sprang up in the meantime.

When the holidays came around, I bought a case of a nice red wine that I enjoyed and prepped them all with gift bags. Except one bottle - the bottle for the nasty manager.

I took that bottle and spent about two weeks heating the bottle and chilling the bottle by wrapping it in a particularly warm heating pad and standing it on top of my old apartments hot water heater for one or two hours then sticking it in the freezer until the bottle was cold to the touch. My goal was to ruin the taste, turn it to vinegar.

The holidays came and I gave my fellow managers their gift  and we all headed out of the office for a few day.

When we came back everyone was talking about how wonderful the wine was. Except the nasty manager, who was surprised everyone loved it. She was going on about how nasty it was and how bad it smelled and how she couldn't even drink it.

It was intended as a harmless prank but, when she was fired a few days later for bullying people, she exploded and mentioned my "crappy wine" in her tirade as she threw things around the office on her way out the door. I felt some degree of pride about that because screw her for bullying people.

I completely and 100% DESPISED homework as a kid (and about half of my teenage years). When I was in the 8th grade, we were assigned a project towards the end of the year that counted for a pretty big percentage of our overall grade. From what I can remember, it had something to do with shapes and equations - it was basically like a large project of everything we learned the whole year.

I didn’t wanna do it. I worked on it a very small amount here and there, but never completed it. The math teacher collected them over a period of a few days, and then was going to spend a few more days grading them all. I played along to all of my other classmates that I turned mine in and even explained what it (maybe) looked like.

The day came and she was finishing up grading all of them, and as she finished each one she gave them back, so some students had already taken theirs home. So she’s sitting at her desk and asks, “Have I graded yours yet?” And I quickly replied, “Yes ma’am, you gave it back to me a couple days ago.”

Some wonderful, powerful magic force was working hard that day, because all she said was, “Oh, I forgot to write your grade down. Do you remember what it was?” I didn’t want to aim too high because I knew what work I was capable of, so I simply said, “You wrote 89.” And she just wrote it down in her grade book! She didn’t ask to see it again or anything!

I couldn’t believe it worked. That was the only time that ever worked, but it worked nonetheless. I passed math because of that lie. I did learn to just suck it up and do all the work from then on.

Title says it all. I was 16 and my first job was in a shoe shop. We had one regular awkward woman customer who came in every Saturday afternoon whilst the store was at its busiest and literally asked to try on every pair of shoes in the shop before leaving an hour later without buying anything. I was the new boy and the youngest, so all the other staff always dumped her on me.

One day, she was up to her usual Saturday afternoon hobby and an elderly lady, obviously visually impaired, handed me a pair of shoes and asked me how much... They were the awkward customer's own shoes that the elderly woman had picked from the floor. I quoted her a ridiculously low price and she bought them immediately.

Ten minutes later, the awkward customer started shrieking that she couldn’t find her shoes and after complaining to the manager believing they had been stolen by shoplifters. He was having none of it stating it wasn’t the company's fault if customers had their personal property stolen in the store. The woman had to buy a new pair of shoes or leave barefooted. We never saw her again.