The Good, the Bad, and the Downright Laughable
Marvel fans have seen their fair share of spectacular villains. Characters like Doctor Doom, Loki, and Thanos kept us flipping pages well past our bedtime, but after 85 years in publication, Marvel also put some questionable foes on the frontlines. Join us as we go through the best and worst!
1. Big Wheel
We wished the name wasn’t so literal, but alas, say hello to Jackson Weele. Details aren’t really important—what is important is that his so-called weapon is a big ol’ wheel he rides around in. The only thing more pathetic is that he swapped back to a life of crime after helping Spidey.
2. Asbestos Lady
Oh, Victoria Murdock. As hilarious as asbestos-lined suits sound, you have to cut her some slack. It was the ‘40s, after all, and what’s scarier than a pretty lady who has trouble breathing? She was initially meant as a foe for the Human Torch, but barely anyone remembers her now.
3. The Kangaroo
An actual kangaroo is probably more dangerous than Frank Oliver and Brian Hibbs. Both knuckleheads donned this endurance-boosting suit, yet neither one stood a chance against Spider-Man. They didn’t stand a chance against fans either.
4. Egghead
It isn’t great when your name is a literal insult, especially as a villain. However, that didn’t stop Elihas Starr from fighting popular heroes like Ant-Man, Wolverine, and even the Avengers. We’ll spoil it for you: the weapon-wielding short king with no superpowers got bested.
5. The Spot
At first, Dr. Jonathan Ohnn almost convinces you he’s cool. He doesn’t trigger Spidey sense and looks like a leopard print Rorschach. But at the end of the day, he’s just a guy with average strength and a finite number of hiding spots (pun intended). He isn’t totally useless, and he’s gotten stronger over time, but he still isn’t great.
6. Paste-Pot Pete
Some call him Peter Petruski, others call him Trapster—we call him nonsense. Aside from having no discernible skills or memorable qualities, his so-called super weapon is the very thing your crafty aunt has: glue. Maybe sit this one out, Petruski.
7. Doctor Bong
Okay, first of all, we can appreciate a hilarious name. Second of all, it’s not what you’re thinking and we’re also disappointed. Lester Verde slapped a giant bell on his head and became the teleporting archnemesis of Howard the Duck. The only thing crazier is the fact that he’s more powerful than you think!
dimitrisvetsikas1969 on Pixabay
8. Arcade
Arcade’s a little goofy but he’s supposed to be. That doesn’t make him any less hilarious, though, and you bet we’re going to make fun of him. From crazy costumes to ridiculous schemes, this guy’s the king of getting K.O.’d.
9. Stilt-Man
Wilbur Day has stilts and a bad attitude, and he’s ready to take on Daredevil (at least he thinks he is). With telescopic legs and no real superpowers, the aptly named Stilt-Man has stomped his way through comics since the ‘60s. Are you not entertained?
jareed from London, UK on Wikimedia
10. Hypno-Hustler
It’s not a phase, mom—it’s a stage name! Lead singer Antoine Delsoin picked the alias Hypno-Hustler all by himself, and that’s about the last thing he did. He causes mass hypnosis with his guitar, but as you can imagine, took a beating from Deadpool and Spider-Man.
Now that we’ve had our fun, it’s time to relish in some of the best villains Marvel ever gifted us.
1. Doctor Doom
We could talk forever about Victor von Doom. He’s so much more than your everyday Marvel villain—he’s one of the only guys truly willing and able to back up his threats. But part of the fascination is in his complexities; he’s an unstoppable brainiac who will either prevent zombie apocalypses and fight for his mom’s soul…or sell out his one true love and try to take over the world.
2. Loki
Loki was a fan favorite long before we started fawning over Tom Hiddleston. As the literal god of mischief, he’s teamed up with Doctor Doom (and trapped poor Lady Sif’s soul in the process) and manipulated people into full-blown wars. But it’s hard to hate him outright. After all, if he can lift Mjolnir, he can’t be all bad.
3. Red Skull
Captain America fans recognize Red Skull anywhere. From the terrifying appearance to the unspeakable acts of evil, he’s Rogers’ biggest foe—a title he’s more than happy with. Not only has poor Cap lost loved ones, but Red Skull also stole Professor X’s brain and committed countless crimes during WWII.
4. Dark Phoenix
We knew Jean Grey harbored something powerful within her, but no one could anticipate its magnitude. Not until Dark Phoenix anyway, a chaotic force to be reckoned with, and the very thing responsible for a mass genocide. It’s a far stretch from the mutant we’re used to.
5. Thanos
All it took was a couple stones and the snap of giant purple fingers to wipe out half the universe. That alone speaks to Thanos’ power, but he’s guilty of far more. He’s destroyed planets, raided Wakanda, and even turned on several of his own family members.
Miguel Discart & Kiri Karma on Wikimedia
6. Venom
Who knew such a small symbiote would cause such chaos? Between terrorizing beloved female characters to creating additional villains like Carnage, that alien parasite keeps Spidey’s hands full. He also keeps us glued to our comics.
7. Galactus
It’s never good when a supervillain eats your planet—but he isn’t called the Devourer of Worlds for nothing. Galactus is a powerful enemy who loves to spar with universes, consume planets, and butt heads with the Fantastic Four. To make matters worse, he’s hooked on sentient life.
8. Apocalypse
You can expect trouble with a name like that, and Apocalypse delivers. Hoping to usher in a new world of mutants, this almighty antagonist has corrupted timelines and created devastating horsemen to instill fear in mankind. It also doesn’t help that he’s one of the oldest living mutants.
9. Knull
Ever wondered where those little symbiotes actually came from? It’s this guy, a creepy deity who really didn’t like it when the Celestials woke him from his nap. (We’re skipping some nuance, but that’s basically the gist.) Either way, he created symbiotes and waged war on cosmic gods—and isn’t a guy to mess with.
10. Doctor Octopus
Maybe you know him as Doc Ock. Maybe you know him as Alfred Molina. But more than anything, Doctor Otto Octavius is a good guy turned power-hungry villain who torments Spider-Man. In the face of so much turmoil, you can’t really blame the guy, and it’s our complicated feelings and his power that make him so interesting.
