When it comes to the worst track in Mario Kart, there's one that stands out by a wide margin. And, no, it isn't Rainbow Road. The worst track across the entire Mario Kart franchise makes Rainbow Road look like a walk in the park.
People love to make fun of Rainbow Road, and we don't entirely blame them for it. Between the bright flashing colors, the lack of safety barriers, and the long runtime, there's a lot to dislike about the Rainbow Road. As far as tracks go, it's one of the least forgiving to new or inexperienced players that can easily lead to frustration.
Dishonorable Mentions
However, of all the things you can say about Rainbow Road, you can't say that it's boring. The theming is iconic; there's enough danger to make the long stretches interesting, and it's fun to play with friends. Rainbow Road would not have survived as long as it has if it only had meme potential.
Now, if theming were our main concern, it would be easiest to go for the lowest-hanging fruit: the Figure-8 Circuit. This is the first track players encounter in Mario Kart DS and, as such, is meant to introduce players to game mechanics. It's boring because it's supposed to be.
The biggest fault is this track is its utter lack of theming and obstacles—even for a test track. There isn't the barest hint of any theme in this track, even the franchise to which it belongs. Additionally, if the Figure-8 Circuit is meant to prepare players for the chaos of Mario Kart, it does a poor job of it by omitting obstacles or power-ups.
That said, it would be disingenuous to grade an introductory level on the same scale as one of the game's hardest tracks. You don't play Figure-8 Circuit to compete, just like you don't use Rainbow Road to introduce players to the world. Calling Figure-8 Circuit the worst track in Mario Kart would be an unnecessary low blow.
Saying the same of Banshee Boardwalk, on the other hand, is objectively correct.
A Sleeper Stinker
Banshee Boardwalk first appeared in 1997 on Mario Kart 64. Banshee Boardwalk was the second-to-last course players competed in before the dreaded Rainbow Road. Banshee Boardwalk made another appearance in Mario Kart DS before vanishing without a trace.
The problem with Banshee Boardwalk isn't its theming or lack thereof. Banshee Boardwalk has a wonderful theme, it just doesn't do anything with it. The problem with this course lies in everything but the theme.
Banshee Boardwalk is a haunted house track in the vein of Ghost Valley or Luigi's Mansion. Soundtracked by a spooky score and creaky floorboards, this track has all the makings of a classic. Unfortunately, the theming also lets Boardwalk Banshee down in a big way.
The majority of this track is a dilapidated wooden road, which is a little boring in itself. If Nintendo wanted to commit to the boardwalk theme, the could have at least included a funhouse mirror or crumbling shacks alongside the track. Instead, there is little to admire in this track.
Banshee Boardwalk is dark. Not only is theme macabre, but the track itself is hard to see. Of course, this means its sharp corners and sudden lack of guard rails are all the more perilous.
The Real Horror Is Boredom
Aside from falling into the water or getting nerfed by other players, there is very little by way of obstacles. Ghosts and bats roam free but rarely interact with the players. This makes Banshee Boardwalk not only eerie but somewhat monotonous.
Another point against Banshee Boardwalk's favor is the narrowness of the track. This is in part due to ambiance, so that the player has the creep factor of driving down a narrow road alone. However, it means that passing and collisions are extremely difficult to pull off, which further dulls the gameplay.
If you're leading the pack or lagging behind, it's easy to play Banshee Boardwalk without encountering another driver. For the most part, you're left along, driving through darkness as far as the eye can see. Pretty depressing for a racing game.
Unlike Rainbow Road or Ghost Valley, Banshee Boardwalk isn't fun to play, either alone or with other people. The track is so narrow that you can't let your eyes drift away from your player for even a second, and the mood is so relentlessly gloomy it's hard to feel joy at a hard-won victory. It's no wonder Nintendo didn't bring this track back for subsequent games.
