Some people just aren't meant for each other. Whether you don't like the same music, or your significant other can't stand the way you fold your laundry, these small things can really add up over time.

And when your partner decides to show you their red flags, don't ignore them. You're probably better off looking for a better connection elsewhere!

Amazon Slimeball

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We had been married for a few years and it was great, but once we had a baby, he panicked. All of a sudden he didn’t know what he wanted. Eventually, he asked me for space. We still spoke but he wasn’t involved with our baby or fixing our marriage.

Ten months later, I added a new Amazon Echo to our family Prime account and I noticed a device I didn’t recognize. I figured out that the device was set up at the place where he was currently living. Since it was linked to our account, I was able to go through voice requests and play them back. 

One recording sent chills up my spine. It was my husband saying, “Alexa, play beautiful love songs” while in the background I can hear intimate noises. Turns out, he was having an affair with a colleague.

They’d been having an affair since at least the birth of our daughter, but lots of clues say it started before. It was easier to end it considering how long he had already been gone.

When I originally shared this on social media, it got picked up by a tabloid newspaper with the headline ‘Amazon Slimeball’ which is now what he is saved as in my contacts forever.

SnooLentils314

I Had My Suspicions

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He has a longtime friend of his (who happened to be female) who was staying the night. She was sleeping in the basement bedroom and we were upstairs. Well, he slipped out of bed in the middle of the night and woke me up. When he noticed, he told me he had to go to the bathroom.

I guess I already had my suspicions, because I lay there and listened to him walk down the hall, then past the bathroom, and down the stairs. So, I followed. And caught him in the basement getting ready to sleep with her. Oh. I was not a happy puppy.

Was stupid and tried to salvage our engagement, but I wasn’t “fun anymore” and he left.

Ilunibi

He Had it All

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My friend seemed to have it all. But there was one problem: No matter what he said, his beautiful French wife refused to speak English when her family was over. Instead, they would just speak in French the entire time while he sat by, not understanding a word.

He started to get suspicious, so he recorded their conversation and got it translated—that tape was absolutely heartbreaking. The entire family was insulting him whenever they came over. It was absolutely brutal.

StanMarsh01

Notifications On

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My then boyfriend had let me use his iPad to watch a movie on Netflix. He had his messenger account linked to both his tablet and his phone, and messages kept popping up on it while I was watching without him realizing I could see.

I got to watch in real time as he got his best friend’s wife to agree to sleep with him over the coming holiday weekend; with the promise that he’d get rid of me for that weekend so they could get intimate in our bed.

hoocares

Paternity Court

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Lauren Lake’s Paternity Court is incredible. My favorite case was one where the woman spent almost the entire 25 minutes going over all this “proof” that the kid was this guy’s kid. She used facial similarities and even brought in a witness to attest that she was of good character and wouldn’t cheat.

She also tried insulting the guy, saying how awful it was that he denied his child. Through all of this, the guy just stood there quietly; not saying a word, not defending himself, nothing. Finally, the judge asked if he has anything to say or if he would like to plead his case.

He motioned to the only thing on the desk: A manila folder. The plaintiff took it to the judge, and she opened it. Its contents changed the whole case. She read it for a minute, then dismissed the case in the favor of the guy.

Turns out, he had been deployed overseas in Afghanistan during the year before, which was when the pregnancy and birth occurred. He came home after four years and was introduced to “his” two-year-old child.

unlimitednerd

Ready to Step Up For You

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We were in college and she told me she was pregnant. We weren’t sure what to do besides schedule a doctor’s appointment. I was all-in for her, ready to step up to the plate for her and our child…until the doctor told us a key piece of information that turned everything upside-down: 

The estimated date of conception. I realized that I was out of town during those dates, so I questioned her about it. She confessed to sleeping with my roommate while I was out of town.

You_Can_Get_It

It Was Just a Test

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My wife is pregnant with our daughter. Initially, we were really happy and excited about it. But then, it all goes wrong. She starts acting like a nut job. She gets angry and irritated at small things, insults me when she doesn’t like the food I make, starts acting insecure, and accuses me of losing my attraction for her.

For example, she wanted to eat chicken sandwiches for dinner last week. Well, I made chicken sandwiches. So she eats all the sandwiches, leaves me nothing, and told me that they tasted like garbage. If she didn’t like them, why did she have to eat everything?

When I asked her this, she told me that she was hungry. Ok fine. She does this every time. Eats everything I make and calls it garbage. I don’t argue with her because I work for more than 80 hours a week and I really want to have some peace when I’m home.

So, yesterday, a random girl starts flirting with me after the gym and asked me if I wanted to meet up with her for some drinks. I rejected her and told her that I was married. And when I got home, my wife started to hug me and apologize. 

That’s when I learned the dark truth. When I asked her what happened, she told me that her best friend suggested a test for my loyalty. So they asked a mutual friend to flirt with me and ask me out. And I passed. Yay?!!? I’m really angry. I’m done with her antics.

Stupidtest_

Hungry Heart

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I went on a date with a guy. We ordered our meals and while we were waiting for them to come, I stepped away to go to the bathroom. When I came back, I found out that he had canceled part of my order while I went to the bathroom because he thought I had ordered too much. It was just a small, extra dumpling.

That was the end of everything.

summermode

I Didn't Bother Sticking Around

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I matched with this girl on Tinder and we clicked really well. We had great text conversations for several months, but she was busy and I wasn’t trying to be pushy to meet her. Just the conversation was nice.

In one such conversation, queue me making a joke and it leading into a conversation about how she thinks the world is only 6,000 years old.

Oh, and also, apparently dinosaurs never existed. She claimed to have reviewed all the evidence for both and had arrived at the conclusion that they’re both false. Instead, she opined that the Bible was a hundred percent accurate.

I noped out of that one no thank you. Didn’t bother sticking around to see what other crazy ideas she had.

PiesInMyEyes

A Quick Investigation

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We got engaged the summer after I graduated college. We had been dating for five years and I had to move home for work for six months. I noticed she started acting withdrawn.

My attempts to talk to her on the phone while I was away were described as smothering. She wasn’t acting like herself so I began to investigate. I started checking the phone bill for numbers she was texting and looking through her emails.

I didn’t find anything and I thought I was paranoid, but then in January, I found an incredibly telling piece of evidence. It was an email that I found in her outbox with no trace of prior conversation.

She wrote to another man that she’s in a relationship but she’s looking for someone to help her be a fun girl.

Greedy_Lavishness935

Pulling the Plug

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I didn’t realize I was logged in to her Facebook. She had used my computer and we had a lot of mutual friends. At one point, I got a message from one of her friends asking how it went last night. When I opened the conversation, my jaw dropped. 

Her friend was excited to find out if she stayed behind and if he finally saw my exes’ underwear. It took a minute for everything to sink in. I went for a run and waited for her to wake up. We broke up in an amicable conversation and I didn’t tell her what I had found out.

As far as I know, she still has no idea what prompted me to end it. We had been together for three years and we were both miserable. I wasn’t angry; I was just surprised that it came down to a Facebook message for us to pull the plug.

Branquignol

Coming Clean

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I was dating this girl for almost a year and it was serious. I was friends with her mom and most of her friends but she was a very jealous and possessive person. One night, I was at her house and she got into the shower. I was on the floor playing with her iPad when I noticed a book under her bed.

It looked like a sketchbook at first, so I grabbed it. I opened it thinking I would see beautiful sketches, but it was her diary. The words on the pages gave me shivers. She wrote about how she had been cheating on me with multiple men. It was shocking because she was so jealous and possessive.

I calmly closed it, put it back under the bed, and left. I called one of her friends with who I had become tight with and asked her to explain. She agreed to meet me later, meanwhile, my girlfriend got out of the shower and asked why I left. I told her I read her diary and that it was over between us.

She tried to be angry about me for reading the diary but she was more upset that she was caught. I met up with her friend for coffee and she told me everything. My girlfriend and three of her friends had made a pact. They were all in on it together and they would travel, party, and create a lot of opportunities.

They’d rent hotel rooms together, cover for each other, and made detailed notes so no one found out. Her friend wanted to come clean as she was over it. She didn’t feel good about lying or hurting people, and the guilt was unbearable.

PurgatoryMountain

Childish Behavior

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My date, who was a restaurant manager, took me out to dinner. He was rude to the staff there almost constantly. I had had enough and got up and left a twenty on the table, after he said, “Do you want to see how long it takes me to get this waitress to apologize to us?”

The waitress was great—she only forgot one extra water.

Bobson_Dugb

Far From True

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My girlfriend at the time didn’t have a phone, so she would contact me using her friends’ devices. One day, I was trying to get a hold of her, so I texted some of their numbers. After a few minutes, I received a shocking reply, and it hit me like a runaway train:

“You need to stop. She broke up with you and is seeing someone else. Leave her alone.” This was far from true. We had not broken up…In fact, we had even scheduled her dream vacation to Italy for her birthday.

PessismisticPanda

She Thought I Already Knew

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My best friend accidentally let it slip in a Facebook message because she thought I already knew. I was relieved because I had suspicions but never any proof. When I confronted my wife, she tried to say the guy aggressively took advantage of her. I didn’t buy that lie and she finally confessed. 

But here’s the kicker—despite everything, we still stayed together for another seven years. Even though we tried to make it work, our relationship never recovered. It was turmoil because she’s a raging narcissist who can’t handle making mistakes.

I finally left her in March of 2017, and within two months she was shacked up with someone else, raising their kid with two new adopted dogs to replace the ones we had together.

Q_R_T_W

How Should I Respond?

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She was driving and handed me her phone so I could navigate the directions. While I was holding her phone, she got a message from another guy. I had already told her their friendship made me uncomfortable and she said I had nothing to worry about. 

But then I read the message and I broke down. He wanted to know what time to pick her up for their date. I calmly asked her how I should respond.

adkichar55

Long-Distance Love

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We were doing long-distance while I lived abroad. He visited me with a plane ticket I purchased. Less than a month after, an old coworker of mine told me she saw him at a bar kissing and holding hands with another girl.

She confronted them, saying she was his best friend and that he was already in a relationship. His best friend was dating my brother-in-law’s friend, so he eventually got caught.

nic326

Plus One

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My girlfriend had a studio apartment and lived alone. One day, when I got to her place, I went to the bathroom and saw used protection in the trash. We had stopped using protection, so she confessed easily. We still stayed together and she promised me she would change.

A year later, she found out I got invited to this exclusive party. She kept urging me to take her, convincing me it would be fun for both of us—little did I know that she had ulterior motives. I didn’t realize it, but her ex was also invited, and that’s why she made a big deal about me bringing her.

I was invited for work and had to organize a plus one so it was a huge hassle. I regret it to this day because I ended up finding her with her ex in the toilets.

mrdewtles

Always Watching

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I genuinely feared for my safety. I went over, and we got in an argument so I slept on the floor, essentially. I went to the bathroom to text one of my buddies to come pick me up since I thought she had fallen asleep. I suddenly get a text from her saying, “Where are you?”

And, of course, my phone made a sound. I froze up and opened the bathroom door. She was already standing there waiting for me in the darkness. She didn’t say a word at all, just stared at me until I walked by.

I went back to my spot on the floor and got under the blanket and pretended to be falling asleep until she did. After about 30 minutes, I decided to peek out from under the covers and…she was literally towering over me in total darkness with her eyes wide open the entire time. I got out of there so fast.

GAU8

Not in Public

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We went to the mall and stopped by this little kiosk selling cookies. I decided that I would get one cookie. The lady working there said that if I bought two then I would get an extra one free. So, I decided to buy two and get the third one free.

My date WENT OFF on this lady, saying that she was trying to scam me, etc. etc. He was legit yelling so loud that it was echoing through the mall. It was so embarrassing I wanted to die. If you’re rude to people in customer service, you’re not for me.

lotus_flower2419

How Can We Live With These Differences?

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We had been together for quite a while—about 6-8 months—and had been living together for at least 2 months when I decided to make tuna salad. I asked him how he liked it. He told me. I came back with two bowls, half the can made his way, and half the can made the way I liked it.

He completely freaked out about the two different versions. He said, “If we can’t agree on how to eat tuna, how will this ever work?!” I said that we don’t have to agree—we can both have it exactly the way we want and be happy. He vehemently disagreed.

Then, I started thinking of all of his other controlling behavior and the inability to compromise. It wasn’t that day that we broke up, but it was definitely the day our relationship broke. The cheating didn’t help either.

Tousca

Maybe I Got Lucky

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My fiancé proposed to me about eight months ago. We decided on having a relatively small wedding, which is in two days. Everything was going great. He seems absolutely perfect and we are very much in love.

I am a virgin and so is he; he wanted to save it for marriage and I wasn’t fussed, so I agreed to saving it, too. He has told me before this that in his family, the father checks the virginity of the bride the night before the wedding. I laughed this off as it seriously sounded like a massive joke. 

I was so, so wrong. He was super serious. He wants me, the night before, to open my legs up in a small ceremony-type thing so his dad can check me while he, his brothers, and uncle can watch so that they know I am still “pure.”

I told him fat chance I am going to do that, and he was begging to me to go through with it and saying how important it is for him. He said he knew it was slightly embarrassing for me but his mom did and it will prove how much I love him and that I have nothing to hide anyway, as I am still a virgin.

I left and he was crying, it was very dramatic. So I went and talked to him this morning I told him that his father is not going to look at me and he needs to respect that. He was adamant that it needs to happen, and then it got more brutal. He accused me of lying about my virginity.

I was trying to be calm and rational, but he was not having it and just became more and more angry. I told him if he really loved me, he would stand by me on this and tell his father no. Instead, he slapped me and said he didn’t need to prove anything. So I ended it and left him.

I am currently at my friend’s house being miserable and eating pizza, which at least is pretty fun. Either way, I can’t help but think that I got lucky.

FarReference3

He's Not the Father

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A month ago, my wife gave birth to a black baby girl. There’s one enormous problem with this. We’re both white, so she was forced to admit that the child was a result of a one-night stand last year.

I’ve started divorce proceedings, although we’re still living together for now, partly for our two boys—aged 2 and 4, I’ve had paternity tests for them and they came back positive. Naturally, I have no ill will towards the baby, but my family members do.

What really worries me is that my two sons might pick up on these narratives. They’re too young to really understand what’s happening now, but I’m worried that as they grow to understand the situation that they might grow to resent their half-sister for “breaking up their parents’ marriage.”

ThrowRAkiddilemma

Kitchen Nightmare

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My girlfriend and I have been together since around March 2019.  I love her with all my heart—but an issue has just arisen. Her grandfather is coming to dinner, and he is a Michelin Star cook, and said I would cook something. So, yes, I am a 21-year-old man, but look, I just cannot cook.

Sure, I can make something like very basic pasta, a boiled egg, etc. However, I absolutely cannot make anything where you have to prepare multiple ingredients. When I cook, the food is either done or it’s not done. I have no experience with “doneness.”

I do have my redeeming skills, but cooking is just not one of them. I have tried following recipes word for word, but just have had no luck. My girlfriend and I are both rising seniors in college, and I have my own apartment near campus where we will be meeting for dinner.

When I agreed to make something, I thought I could just mess around with something because I didn’t know the details. But then when I mentioned it to my girlfriend’s brother, who I’m friends with, he told me that their grandfather was awarded a Michelin Star some time ago.

I asked my girlfriend why she didn’t tell me, and she said she didn’t want me to freak out. I never cook in college. I’ve always just relied on dining hall/eating out/Uber Eats. I don’t even have dishes!

The only thing I can possibly think of is that I know a fair bit about vino, so I could definitely get something good on that end. I really, really don’t know what I’m supposed to do.

I feel like my options are: Push as hard as I can for eating out, or pull a Seymour and buy takeout from a steakhouse or something and pass it off as my own cooking. I’m sorry if I sound like I’m panicking. I just love this girl so much, and I don’t want to leave a bad impression on someone she’s very close with.

I talked about it with a close friend, and we want to try a test run. If the test fails, then we’ll have to just accept that I will have to say something. So the plan we thought of would go like this:

I will invite a professor (who’d we’d let in on the plan) and a friend of his who is a foodie for dinner at my place with my friend under the guise that I just want to test my cooking.

We’ll order takeout from a top nearby steakhouse, and keep it under heat lamps so that they 1) stay warm and 2) maybe slightly decrease in quality to make it more believable. I’d also have to buy some cheap steak and just throw it on my stove to get the “smell” in the air and have dirty cooking dishes.

I’d also have to memorize the recipe for a steak, and watch some YouTube videos to understand the nuances of jargon and cooking. Then we see if it works. I also have decent enough experience reds (though not whites) to be able to properly taste and describe without having to fake it.

If that doesn’t work, Plan B would be to straight-up tell him I’m not very experienced, and maybe ask if he can give a demonstration of some dish from his restaurant, and I’d happily pay for whatever ingredients.

He’s coming all the way from France. I’m a big fan of Kitchen Nightmares and keep imagining this is going to be like Gordon Ramsay or something like that.

ThrowRAMichellenStar

Reality Bites

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My ex was involved in a motorcycle accident and he broke his back. I was handling all of his paperwork and insurance claims while he was a bit out of it.

I needed some information from his phone and found out he was talking to another girl when I was gone for a week. He feigned confusion, but I think reality hit when I walked out the door.

esyougeeayeare

Narrowly Avoided

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I was in Denver for a month for work. We had a date night planned for when I got home, but she called me crying that night as I was on my way back. The entire conversation made my heart sink. She confessed that she’d been with someone else.

As it turns out, that  “someone” was her ex-husband. But that’s not all—I got lucky, because a few months later, she called with positive STD results, which I avoided too.

ElToberino

No One Bothered to Show Up

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My mom was in the hospital and I needed someone to talk to. I texted my girlfriend but only got a few one-word responses. About an hour later, she sent me a selfie of herself and asked what I thought about her new haircut.

It wasn’t like her to send these shallow responses, especially considering my mom’s health, so that made me suspicious. The following weekend, I went to her house so that we could work on her yard together. I helped her plant a few things and fixed a few issues on the outside of her house.

I spent most of the day doing yard work. The next day, we had planned to go bike riding a couple of towns over. I asked if she wanted to spend the night at my house. She said she just wanted to sleep in her bed, so I went home.

At 4:30 that morning, I got a call from the hospital and saw my mom for the last time. My girlfriend called me an hour later saying her car had been vandalized. She had been at her friend’s house. Apparently, when she was leaving, her car was spray painted and the tires were slashed.

I was a little out of it, but I knew things didn’t add up. I copied the picture she sent the week before to my computer and checked the metadata in the picture. Her phone tags her pictures with GPS coordinates. She was at Tom’s house. She had been going there regularly over the past few weeks.

Several of her selfies were taken in her car in his driveway. I ended the relationship. She was dumbfounded. All she cared about was fixing her car and she didn’t even offer support with my loss. I ended up giving a eulogy to a bunch of empty chairs.

No one bothered to show up to my mom’s funeral. She sent a text months after to meet so she could apologize but that was over four years ago now.

orstius

She's Just Working Late

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My wife was an operations manager for a big box store and I had suspicions about her friendship with another employee. She was working late and they were texting. I checked her phone and the language was flirty but not incriminating.

Her work friend was younger than her and he got accepted to a college in Syracuse. I was relieved knowing that he would soon be gone and out of the picture, but boy was I wrong. When he moved, she became a recluse and started complaining about going to work.

I thought it was just the job making her sad, but really, it was the fact that her coworker was now living in Syracuse. A few months went by and she planned a trip.

She said she needed to recharge. I was excited and naive thinking she would come back as the woman I fell in love with. A day or two into her trip, I got a call from the bank asking to confirm suspicious charges. She had driven straight to Syracuse and the charges were for a hotel room.

Raven_Strange

No Common Sense

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She microwaved her travel coffee cup in my microwave and nearly set my kitchen on fire. It was clearly made of non-microwavable plastic and stainless steel. Lightning was forming in that microwave, as was pitch black smoke which began to pour out.

She got annoyed at me for being upset by this and I then realized that this woman, despite being very attractive, kind, and usually good-hearted, lacked a survivable IQ and common sense.

Previous actions contributed to this final judgment but this action and lack of response to it sealed the deal for me.

Belisar002

Temper Tantrum

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I dated a guy back in high school. I thought he was pretty awesome—he was one of the first guys that I dated that didn’t dump me after a week.

Well, after about 3 months of dating I, finally, went over to his house to spend time with him—it took a while to convince my mom to let me—and we were playing Super Smash Brothers.

I had already told him I was pretty decent at the game since I grew up with two older brothers and played it with them all the time. I beat this dude ONE TIME and I swear I’ve never seen a dude act like such a toddler.

He screamed, threw his controller at the ground, and started cussing at me and the game. I grabbed my things and got out of there and never looked back.

Cupcake_Octopus

Mother's Boy

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I met this guy. As I came to know him, I found out that he was working. And, then it turned out that he had enough money to move out of his parental house and live independently. However, he chose not to do so.

Why not you ask? He told me he would stay with his mother forever because she cooks and does the chores for him.

Ines_cstle

One Night Was All it Took

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Lady stayed the night for the first time then started taking pictures of my house the next morning and posting them on social media. She put my bedroom, living room, and master bath on and I was like…what are you doing.

She said, “I want everyone to see your place.” I said, “Uhh, let me take you home.” I also told her I didn’t like that she did what she had done.

What she took away from this became obvious pretty soon. She complained on social media how I was so petty for not liking her posting my house. Then she called me up to go out again!

I was just astonished that she thought I would be like “post my house, speak ill of me, and come on back.” That was one night…NOPE.

Cannotakema

Not Quite

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I was in a new relationship and everything seemed to be going great. She invited me to meet her friends and I was chatting with everyone. One of the guys and I were getting along, and at some point, I introduced myself as so-and-so’s boyfriend.

He excitedly said: “Oh, you must be Jake!” For the record, my name is Anthony.

DJdisonanca99

Focus on Us

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So, background: My best friend and I met in college and have been best friends since then. We hooked up once years ago. It was a drunken exchange and I honestly chocked it up to we were both drinking and in the right place.

She got ovarian cancer that was stage three a few years back and survived and has been in remission since then. However, she had to have a complete hysterectomy, and she had mentioned a year ago she was considering surrogacy and she wanted me to be donor as she has been single for a while. 

There’s just one huge problem. I am in love with her and I have been for years, but she had no idea. I know at one point she had feelings for me but I was seeing someone then. Out of respect for my girlfriend at the time, she never acted on it.

I felt like before I gave her an answer, which was yes, I should tell her how I feel. I want to make her dream of motherhood come true and I am honestly touched she thinks so highly of me she wants me to be the father. Regardless of how she feels, I would still donate.

Anyway the consensus with my friends was I needed to tell her. We do brunch on Saturdays because she does Yoga Sundays so we met up this morning. I could barely eat and she could tell something was up.

She got worried, thinking I was going to say no or something worse, so by the time we took a walk both of us were nervous wrecks. I sat her down and told her everything. How I realized I was in love with her several years back but was too much of a chicken to come clean.

I told her that I never said anything because I did not want to jeopardize our friendship. Her face turned white. Then a myriad of expressions came over her face, then she started laughing until tears came down her face.

I honestly was stunned, my stomach was in my throat and I honestly thought that almost 12 years of friendship were down the toilet. Then she started crying, sobbing really, and she lightly hit my chest.

She half laughed and sobbed that she was in love with me too, but she thought that it would also impede the friendship we had and she wanted nothing to screw up what we have. We hugged and I told her that there is no one on this Earth I would want to have a child with but her. We talked for hours.

In fact, I just got home. We have decided that we want to focus on us for now. I want us to be at that point that we can do it together. I know that this isn’t a rom com, and that things could end up not working out for us in the end.

However, I am pretty sure if there is such a thing as soul mates, she is mine.

buggybabybumperboats

Red Flags

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I need some help processing this. The person I’m dating (together 3 months), I’ll call him “Dan,” recently invited me out to dinner to meet some of his co-workers.

The first red flag was he invited everyone out to a Hooters, and said they chose that restaurant because it’s close to where they work and is easy to get to. Which is true, but there are several other restaurants nearby that offer better food and a better atmosphere.

Before he invited me out to dinner, he half joked that his co-workers (all of them are male) didn’t believe that he was dating a “hot girl” who is into the same hobbies as them—that these are hobbies that are considered to be primarily for men.

I was a little irked at that comment, but he said he was “just joking around.” This pretty much became the catch phrase for the men that night. When everyone arrived at the restaurant, Dan and his co-workers were making comments about the girls who worked there and their physical appearances.

This made me a little uncomfortable, but I didn’t say anything. I soon regretted this. Once everyone ordered their food and drinks, his friends started to quiz me about my interests.

Many of them share the same “male dominated” hobbies I’m interested in, and they more or less just tried to see if I knew facts about the hobby, as opposed to asking me questions about what I like or don’t like or what I’m currently doing in said hobby.

For example, if my hobby was American history, one of them would ask an esoteric question like “Oh, so you like American History? How many one-dollar bills are currently in circulation? How old is the French Broad River!?” I also work as a junior automation engineer at a start up software company.

I haven’t been writing code that long. I’m really green and I know I still have a lot to learn. The projects I’m working on are small and I’m getting help at work. All of his friends are senior level software engineers and were quizzing me about my work and trying to see how much I actually know.

They were asking about advanced things I did not know about, and were asking me technical questions that don’t even apply to my job. But, they were all smiling and laughing, and would frequently say something like, “Aw we’re just kidding!”

At one point, I felt like I was at some weird interview and was taking one question at a time from each jerk at the table. I know I stopped fake smiling at some point and just emotionlessly answered their questions.

I think one of them became self-aware, because he just looked down at his phone for the rest of the evening, didn’t ask me anything else, and just looked uncomfortable. When they weren’t asking pointed questions at me, they were talking to each other and ignoring me.

I’d be interrupted if I tried to include my thoughts on the subject, or nod at me and look away to someone else. I should mention that all of these guys were 5-10 years older than me. I’m 25, the guy I’m dating is 29, and his co-workers are in their early-mid 30s.

I don’t have as much experience as they do, and part of me was hoping I could meet peers who could have helped guide me or answer my questions about their careers. They all kept saying they were just kidding around or just joking and laughing about it, but it was so cringey.

Dan was sitting beside me and wasn’t stopping this behavior from his co-workers. He was coaching me, I guess? Saying things like, “Oh! You know this one!” or “Come on, you got this, we talked about this last week!” Dan also made the comment of, “See, she’s really smart too!” to one of the guys at the table.

That whole night was just awful. But his response was somehow more chilling. He was actually irritated at me because he saw my whole mood change while I was being quizzed by his friends.

He said he noticed me having an “attitude” with his co-workers, when they were just having fun and trying to get to know me. That it was immature of me to have been so obviously annoyed and that I “audibly sighed” multiple times when one of his friends spoke to me.

I can’t stop seeing Dan as a super cringey dude now. I thought he was acting ridiculous and seemed more like a 13-year-old boy as opposed to someone who is supposed to be turning 30 in a couple of months. I’m pretty sure I can’t go on with the relationship at this point.

I don’t think this is an overreaction on my part, if I were to break up with him. Everything was going fine before this happened. But now I just feel gross. The dinner happened last night and I haven’t returned any of his texts today.

I know ghosting is wrong, but I don’t want to look at him or speak to him, the thought of him just kind of disgusts me at this point. I’ve never felt like someone’s show poodle before. I don’t know if I’ll feel differently in a week or if I’m unjustified in my anger.

throwRAgoolala

Ghosted At the Wrong Time

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My ex-fiancée ghosted me before our wedding. It’s been 16 years and now she wants to talk it over again.  I was never given an explanation. She just left and told nobody. It was literally right before our big wedding ceremony. She didn’t leave a note, nothing, just left. Even her family were left baffled.

We had dated all through high school and all through college. She eventually returned, but not to me. I had to learn via her parents that she had no intentions of coming home. She wanted nothing to do with me and told her parents to avoid having me around. I never got a choice in the matter.

So, I respected her wishes. I never understood why she did it; my only guess was she had a mental breakdown because she cut off all contact with everyone. We were both young and still growing. I don’t know, but I’ve struggled with it since.

So now out of the blue, she messages me on Facebook after all these years and wants to meet up. I’m an influx of emotions right now. Angry, nervous, hopeful, sad. I…I still have feelings for her. Still, I don’t know if I could take her back.

But, looking at her Facebook makes me miss her. She’s even better looking than she was before and SINGLE. I’m conflicted. She won’t talk about anything as to why she left.

She said it’s best to do so in person. The only thing I can tell from her Facebook is a bunch of stuff about her being weak and living a life full of shame and regret and being lonely.

She ghosted me and I should want nothing to do with her but, darn, I still have feelings for her…I never stopped thinking about her.

ThrowRANdGhostingAdv

What Are You Hiding?

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My first love was in my early twenties. We were volatile, constantly on and off, and it was very miserable and unhealthy. At one point, we lived together with my family, which gave them front-row seats to our disaster. I could blame it on young love but I think this was worse.

We decided to take a break for a couple of days. After being apart, she missed me and came to my school. We agreed to work on our relationship, but that night on the phone, I could tell she was dancing around something.

I knew something was wrong and asked her directly what she was hiding. That’s when she dropped the bomb on me—she was leaving me for someone else. I was devastated until she started cheating on him with me.

ATribeOfAfricans

Double Standards

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My first girlfriend cheated on me and accidentally mentioned his name during a conversation. I didn’t recognize it, so I asked who he was. After poking and prodding, she confessed her unfaithfulness but didn’t feel any guilt over her actions.

She maintained this weird double standard where it was fine for her to do what she did, but I shouldn’t try anything similar or it would be over. My next relationship never felt right. We mutually agreed to split because we could tell it wasn’t going very well.

A couple of days later, she posted pictures from a date she was on with another guy who I actually recognized. She acted weird towards the end of our relationship, but I have no proof that she ever did anything with that guy.

My third girlfriend is a plot twist because she was cheating on me, but with people who I absolutely did NOT expect. She confessed that she had been with multiple girls. I found out because she was low key bragging to her friends.

She implied I was closed-minded if I wasn’t okay with her “fooling around” with her friends. It took me the better part of a year to see the flaws with that logic and had a friend help me end it.

ramarkobattery

A Loud Confession

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I found out through her blog. I don’t know if she didn’t remember that I had signed up to support her or if she just didn’t care. The blog post gave extensive details about how she finally found “real love in the world.”

She posted it while on a supposed business trip, which ended up actually being a week-long vacation with the other guy. I shipped her things to the hotel.

Permalink

Sweet Revenge

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She was texting someone a lot when she was at my place one day. She told me she had made a new friend at a party over the past weekend. It didn’t seem like a friendship, but I didn’t push the conversation.

The next day, she told me we should break up, and even though I was surprised, I didn’t argue. Then, a week later she tried to get back together. She sent me a text message saying she missed me, but I told her I’d only take her back if she could honestly confirm my suspicions.

She admitted that his name was Andrew and that things ultimately didn’t work out between them. Reading that gave me closure, and I was ready to get my sweet revenge on her. So I texted back,  “I guess we’re both liars now” and blocked her phone number.

dudius

Not Good Enough for Her Family

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My girlfriend and I have been together almost three years. 99% of the time, we’re great. She’s funny and smart and we have a lot of shared interests. But every time we visit her family, I start doubting everything. 

They are very wealthy, which by itself is not a bad thing, but they’re also very fixated on being rich and have a habit of placing the monetary value of things (and people) over everything else. I come from a very middle-class background.

I have a good education and a decent career that I really enjoy, but I’m definitely not rich. Because of this, they view me as a loser. For example, yesterday we made the two-hour drive to her parents’ in my new-ish Honda.

When we got there, her mom immediately ordered me to park the car behind the house so the neighbors wouldn’t see it. She was furious we didn’t bring my girlfriend’s Land Rover, which they bought for her as a birthday gift this year.

The girlfriend doesn’t like to drive on long trips and I’m not allowed to drive the Land Rover (per her parents) so we brought my Honda. Oh, but the plot thickens. My girlfriend’s dad has never spoken to me directly.

Even when she introduced me the first time, he turned to her and said, “What does he do?” So we went in the house and I gave her dad the usual, “Hi, merry Christmas” and he gave me the usual disinterested glance.

One more example: Last year, I made the mistake of bringing a bottle of vino. It was a $25 bottle, which was pricey for me, and I even had the lady at the store help me pick it out. My girlfriend’s mom told me to put it in the kitchen.

They didn’t open it while we were there, and she later admitted to my girlfriend that they’d re-gifted it to their housekeeper because it was “gas station hooch.” We managed to get through the day yesterday without much drama except the car thing, which I’d normally consider a win.

But today I keep thinking about the whole situation with her family and wondering if I’m really willing to deal with these people for the rest of my life. My girlfriend and I have tossed around the possibility of getting married more than once, but I know they’ll never accept me.

If we get married, I’ll have to see them a lot more than once a year. My girlfriend has given up trying to defend me to her parents and just ignores them most of the time, but I can tell it bothers her, too.

They bankroll a big chunk of her lifestyle and I think she’s worried they’ll cut her off if she pushes too hard—they’ve threatened to over other things. So am I wasting my time? Is this relationship doomed?

My girlfriend always tells me she doesn’t care what her family thinks, but I’m not sure that’s true. She always tries to downplay how mean they are to me. But I know I’ll never be good enough for them, even if I’m good enough for her.

SomeCase

His Plans For Me

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I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year. I am 5”4’ and 125lbs. He pursued me. Slowly, though, he keeps making more and more negative comments about my appearance. He made me a workout and eating plan and constantly asks if I follow it.

He basically wants me to go vegan. Honestly, I’m not into the vegan lifestyle and I don’t eat horribly. When we ordered in yesterday I got baked ziti. He looked at me and said something horrible. He asked how I could be ordering this when we both agreed I need to lose weight.

Every time I try to dump him over this, he tells me I don’t understand where he is coming from. He told me I’m average and he wants me to stand out. He says that he noticed I have low self-esteem and he is trying to make me confident and be happy with myself.

Every day, he asks me if I did my workouts. But that’s not the worst part. He will send me photos of other girls and say if I follow what he says I will look like that. He REALLY pursued me and now I feel like he’s ruining my self esteem.

Why pursue someone so hard if you aren’t that attracted to them? He told me if I lose 15 pounds, I’ll be perfect. He sends me pictures of women who have post pregnancy bodies or not good bodies at all and he tells me that they are like me, that they are chubby and not curvy.

Or he will send me pictures of girls I don’t consider pretty and say if I listen to him I will look like that, I just need to lose weight. I tell him I think I’m thinner than those girls and he tells me that he has better eyes.

throwra0099909009922

Somebody That I Used to Know

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When I married my husband, I knew that he was an overweight, lazy video game nerd, and I loved him anyway for his warm heart and kind personality.

He detested exercise, stayed a low rank at his career because he put in minimum effort, and we bonded more over other activities like watching movies together at home rather than going out.

He went on this camping trip with his friends two years ago, and when he came home, it was like something had lit a fire under his butt.

He completely changed interests—he never played video games again and took up running, reading books even though I’d never seen him read before except for school, and several other completely random hobbies.

He became a vegetarian even though, before, he’d been a meat and potatoes guy. He worked harder at his job, then did an accelerated grad school program and ended up making tons more money. I barely recognize him.

We still have a good marriage, and I still love him, and he has motivated me to be better in the last two years, but…. I can’t help but miss my husband. I know that people change, but about all that’s left of him is his warm heart.

No one shares my concerns because all his changes have been positive, but I feel like he’s so different maybe we need marriage counseling so I can adapt, at least…

ThrowRA_healthful

She's In Denial

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This is all over the place. I really need help. My wife and I have been married for two years and together for 15. All this time, we had either decided not to have kids or had problems getting pregnant.

After some medical testing, we found out that it was near impossible to get pregnant due to some medical issues with her. We were thinking of adopting, when one day she came home and told me she was expecting. Of course I was super happy.

A week later, we had an appointment and she had some blood drawn. The test came back negative after all. I was devastated, but her reaction weirded me out. She wasn’t at all. She claimed that she was pregnant and that the doctor was wrong.

We took some more store-bought tests and they all came back negative. My wife is in complete denial. Now she claims we are having twins. She is buying them clothes and decorations and is pressuring me to start with the nursery.

I am at a loss and don’t know what to do. My inaction is making her believe that I want to leave them and that I am going to doom my wife into the life of a single mom.

What is even happening. I love her but I don’t know what to do. I have tried talking her into therapy, but she accuses me of gaslighting her.

itsathrowawai

He Never Came Back

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I’m an anesthesiologist. C-sections are typically done under spinal anesthesia, and we’re the ones at the head of the table keeping the mother calm and talking her through the procedure while the surgeons operate.

I’ve seen it more than once, but I remember one time in particular when the parents were both very caucasian, and the baby was very much not. The actual father obviously had to be very dark-skinned.

At delivery, when the not-father saw the baby, he just looked down at his wife, who was starting to cry, and he spoke the three words everyone was thinking: “You’re a cheater.” He then walked out.

She started screaming for him to come back, but there wasn’t much she could do since she was, you know, still being operated on. She lost it to the point I eventually had to sedate her just a bit because she was in danger of injuring herself.

As far as I know, her husband never came back to the hospital. I don’t know what happened after that.

321zzz

She Never Told Me

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I once had a patient who came into the ER for a UTI. She had been with her boyfriend for four months and she was acting extremely dramatic for just having UTI. We told her we needed to test her urine. She urged us to catheter her, which was really unusual, but she told us she couldn’t pee.

So, the other nurse and I agreed and we put in a catheter with her lying on the gurney. That’s when the nurse let out a bloodcurdling scream. “Call L&D! She’s crowning!” An L&D nurse came just in time to grab the child as it shot out into her hands. It was a living, breathing baby.

The girl swore she had no idea she was pregnant. They wheeled her off to a postpartum recovery room, and her boyfriend was just kind of left standing there, dumbstruck.

“We have only been dating for four months. I had no idea she was pregnant. She never mentioned it at all.” He just ended up burying his head in his knees while he was sitting on the floor against the hallway wall. I felt so bad for the guy.

TorrenceMightingale

How Can I Ever Repay You?

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Two nights ago, my fiancée accidentally set fire to our kitchen and the fire extinguisher in our apartment was defective. The fire spread quickly and burned through most of the building before they were able to contain it.

I wasn’t home, so I wasn’t there to help my girlfriend gather anything up. If I was, I would have forced her outside and told her to leave it all. It’s just stuff. She chose differently. First, she took our two dogs outside and handed them off to a neighbor on leashes. Then she went back in.

At this point, the kitchen was engulfed in flames and she couldn’t make it into the living room, but she could get into the bedroom. She knew she wouldn’t be able to make two trips and she had to act fast. Both of us have lost parents. I lost my dad three years ago.

He was a friend of her father’s so she knew him (though not very well), but he passed before I actually met her. I have most of my dad’s stuff in a storage unit, but in our bedroom I have his ashes and a couple of other very personal things from my time with him.

She lost her mom as a teenager, and because her father is a jerk, she only has a few small things of hers, including her wedding dress. Instead of choosing to save the few things that she has of her mom’s, she gathered up my father’s things, wrapped them in a sheet, and ran out of the room.

I don’t even know how to begin to say thank you. I’m so completely devastated by her losing her mom’s things like that, and I can’t imagine what she was thinking or how much she must really love me to make that decision.

I don’t know how to repay her. Or where to begin. She must be devastated. I can’t imagine losing the last bit of my dad.

lovemygirlfriend267

I Can't Get It Out of My Head

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My fiancé and I just got engaged a week ago. I proposed to him when I heard from our friends that he was sad that his proposal plans were ruined. We have been very happy this past week. But there was a huge downside. I guess this caught the attention of his bitter ex.

She contacted me on through text and said that even though I may be marrying him, I would never be able to satisfy him the way she did. For some background, early on in our relationship I was a bit insecure about this ex, especially how attractive she was.

Still, my fiancé assured me that he would never, ever consider being with her again, because she mistreated him and used to force him into things he didn’t like. I soon grew out of these insecurities. Until I saw the videos she sent with the texts.

I decided to watch the videos she sent. It was a huge mistake. I have never seen my fiancé so passionate/vocal during intimacy with me. She even had a video them getting it on in a public place; I never knew he was into all that stuff.

I got really upset and decided to check if he had kept any of these videos on his phone. Turns out he hadn’t kept any of them, but it didn’t end there. I found out messages discussing them with his best friend Sarah.

Apparently, his ex had sent these tapes to him as well to remind him how good it was between them. He had deleted them right away and blocked her, but was debating whether or not to tell me about this, and thus asked Sarah’s advice.

The conversation somehow turned into Sarah asking who was better in bed. My fiancé tried to evade the question, but she pressed the issue for some reason. It looked like she was teasing him and was being playful, but after a while he got mad and sent her a mini rant about his feelings.

The important gist of it was basically this: “If you look at it from a purely physical perspective, then yeah (ex) was better. She was more my type physically. She was very aggressive and passionate and always took the initiative, which I liked, and she was very ‘talented.’

But she was also horrible to me towards the end, she started using intimacy as a tool, and instead of feeling loved it became a desperate attempt for me to connect with her.” Conversely, he said, intimacy with me made him realize that it was not just about the physical aspect.

He said he felt loved and secure and happy when he was with me. Although the second half of his rant somehow saves it, I still feel really hurt by his admission that intimacy was better with her. I can’t get it out of my head.

He did tell me that he liked me being aggressive and taking initiative, and I do try to be more like that, but once things start happening I end up becoming more passive and let him take the lead.

I know I can try being more aggressive, but I am afraid I can never be as good as her and I can never be the kind of girl that can give public “services.” Now I wonder if he settled for me. Logically, I know I don’t have to be the best at everything for my fiancé.

But it hurts because he is the best boyfriend I have ever had in all aspects that I can think of, and I always thought our bedroom life was amazing. Now I feel like I just got lucky because I was the first person he dated after that witch and the bar was set so low.

The ex managed to ruin what was supposed to be one of the happiest periods of my life. I don’t know how to bring this up to my fiancé without sounding like a nut with no self-control, who thought it was a good idea to watch the videos and snoop on his phone.

ThrowRAsadfiance2020

I Wish I Was Joking

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So my girlfriend and I have been together for nearly eight months, and she’s always been a very quirky and nerdy person. She does cosplay, is very into anime and role-playing, etc. Nothing too weird. We’ve been kind of distant lately; we haven’t seen each other much and only talk for half an hour a day.

Well, last Tuesday we got to hang out at her place, and I noticed something strange immediately. She wore cat ears and a belt with a tail the entire time.

At first I thought it was either going to be a naughty surprise or her testing a new cosplay, but nope, she sat me down, asked me if I really do love her, then hit me with a very long monologue that made my jaw drop. Essentially, it summed up to: “I’m a cat in a human body.”

I wish I was joking. I thought I misunderstood and then believed that maybe it was a weird joke, but she kept being serious about it and doubling down. I left shortly after because I had a shift at work, and I still believed it was an oddly drawn out joke and nothing more.

She ended up texting me with resources to help me understand, which is when I realized that she really is serious. Apparently, she believes she is an otherkin: A person who holds the belief that they are not human.

She says she was introduced to this by one of her friends months ago and has since joined discords and communities of others like her. Her friend believes he is a demon trapped in a human body, and she sent me a testimonial.

She explained her otherkin type as being a cat, and now she 100% thinks she is a cat. How did she know she was a cat you ask?

According to her: Sleeping a lot, liking the sun, hating water, feeling more comfortable crawling on all fours, and claiming to understand what cats are saying and being able to talk to them through meowing.

She has also apparently been distant with nearly everybody we know, as I got multiple messages asking me to let her know to be in touch with them. My head has been spiraling this past week. I keep thinking it’s a joke, but nope, she has handed in her two weeks’ resignation at her job because cats don’t work.

Again, I wish I was joking. I’ve been limiting my interactions with her ever since, because this is hurting my head a whole lot and I just can’t cope.

She has also surrounded herself with a large amount of yes men and women who support her 100% and are enabling this, some even encouraging her to make a Patreon and make otherkin content that they would contribute to, which she brought up when I asked her about quitting her job.

To make things worse, I can’t discuss this with anyone in real life because I know how crazy it sounds and I know that leaving her is a valid option. Still, I’m in love with this woman and now I don’t recognize her. I know that there is something very, very wrong and I can’t reach out to her.

She refuses to hear anything from me unless it is unconditional support. As much as it hurts, I have no intention to continue to be in a romantic relationship with her because she will absolutely not hear anything if it’s not 100% support.

I love her, but I love myself and I don’t want to be dragged down to something like this, especially when it feels like I’m talking to a brick wall. I will, however, try to remain in contact with her just to make sure she’s not heading for a mental break.

I will visit her today to have a talk and officially break it off, even though she’s been refusing to see me unless I am completely on board.

ThrowRA20202004

Don't Settle

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I overheard my wife talking to one of her best friends on the phone while I was passing the bedroom. This friend is in a serious relationship. My wife then said to her, “Sweetie, remember it’s your choice. Don’t settle for just anyone. That’s the mistake I made.

Who knows who else I could have had. [My name] was my very last resort, and now look where it made me end up.” Hearing that honestly broke my heart in two. So I did one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Today after breakfast I told her we should “sit down and talk.”

She was hesitant, but I said it was important. We went to the living room and she said to me, “I already know what this is about.” Of course, the waterworks started happening right away. I told her what she said had deeply hurt me. Through her tears, she said, “I was just joking, I wasn’t serious.”

She then went on saying stuff like “I love you, I love you.” I told her I can’t be in a marriage where my wife doesn’t love me the same way I love her. She tried to tell me that she loved me and that I meant something to her. But it was all false. She said she “didn’t want to lose me.”

I told her I don’t think this marriage was the right decision. And from there I basically told her it was over. I told her I knew how she really felt about me, and that it was messed up that she basically played with my emotions.

We have no kids, and I pay fully for the apartment we live in, and I own almost everything we have other than her clothes. I even pay for her car. So after all of this, she’ll have little to nothing left.

Before our marriage, we agreed to sign a pre-nup, and at that moment, I’ve never been so happy with a decision I’ve made in my life. After that, it was a few seconds of awkward silence, before she said to me “Screw you.” She started screaming at me.

She started telling me, “You just can’t end things like that.” I told her I could do whatever I wanted, and that’s when she became very hostile. She screamed at me saying, “You’re the worst relationship I’ve ever been in. You think I can’t find someone again?”

“Do you think you’ll ever find someone as good as me? You’re an idiot.” She grabbed her bag and phone and said, “I’m leaving!” before slamming the door behind her. At that moment, I felt like I was on one of those dramatic sitcoms you’d find on TV.

I sat down on the couch and cried, and I’m still crying as I type this up. It’s both happy and sad tears. I knew it was only time before she cheated on me or left me. She never loved me, that much was obvious.

Our relationship only went one way, and I feel like a complete idiot for not seeing it earlier. I’m going to start the process to annul our marriage.

Tomorrow, I’m going to start throwing all of her belongings into trash bags, because that’s essentially where they belong, and give them back to her.

Visaul

Unexpected Match

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My husband just messaged me on Tinder. I accidentally discovered he had Tinder on his phone, and I catfished him with a fake profile…and he messaged me. We’ve been together for 20 years and married for 15 years.

I don’t even know how to approach this with him without crying or screaming. I don’t think I can trust him anymore.

ThrowRA_sadangry

Not Even to Save Your Life

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I had a very long and awful relationship with an ex. I had wanted to leave for years, but he would threaten to end himself and I would end up staying.

I, finally, got the courage to walk away when I was diagnosed with several benign liver tumors and was told by the doctor that it was very important with this type of tumor to immediately and permanently stop taking hormonal birth control.

I researched it on my own and confirmed the single most important thing I could do to avoid further complications was to stop taking hormonal birth control for good. I told my then-husband about the appointment and he said, oh so calmly, “Well that’s going to be a problem.”

I was like, “What do you mean? I’ll go to the gynecologist as soon as I can get an appointment and we can just use condoms until then.” Nope. According to him, condoms were unacceptable because we were married. And not being intimate until I got to go to the gynecologist was also unacceptable. 

And that’s not even the part that really made my blood run cold. That was when he suggested that I should continue to take birth control as normal and just not tell the doctor. “He’ll never know,” he said.

Then he went on to suggest that maybe I could go on and off birth control so I’d be off of it before any follow-up appointments with this doctor, to ensure that he’d never know.

I was totally stunned and I just looked at him and said, “You understand this could kill me? This isn’t about placating a doctor; this is about my life.”

He just shrugged and said he wasn’t using condoms and I needed to “figure it out.” I did figure it out. I left him more than a decade ago and have never been happier.

SharMarali

Alter Ego

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I went on a date with a dude who thought he was a dragon! His friends were dragons too! He was looking for his mate. He had all the elemental dragons as friends but the one he was missing was the water dragon and he knew that the water dragon was his mate.

Also, he was close to 600 pounds and wanted to make himself a suit of armor to mirror his dragon’s exterior. I was out.

pepperanne08

The Last Time I Heard From Her

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I was dating a girl in college that I was really into. We both loved going to watch concerts for smaller emo-type bands. Anyway, I took her to Dallas with my sister—who happened to be dating the lead singer of one of the bands at the show—and a couple of other friends.

The show was at a venue called Trees and it had a really cool almost cellar like feel. Well after the show was over, we were all hanging out with a lot of the band members in the cellar-like bar area.

We were all laughing and having a good conversation when my girlfriend says, out of the blue, “This seems like a really good place to screech.” So, confused as we are, one of the guys from the band says, “Screech?” Oh god, I wish he hadn’t asked.

And, then my girlfriend immediately lets out this high-pitched, godawful, screech that had everyone in the venue turn around to see what was causing this terrible sound. My sister looked at my girlfriend and then back at me as if to say, “Why in the world would she do that?”

The guys from the band just stared at her for what seemed like forever before simply saying, “OooooooK.” And that was the first and only time that I knew the exact moment that I was done with a relationship…

The second we got back to town, I got out of the car and said, “Well, it’s been fun, but this relationship just isn’t going to work for me.” And that, as they say, was that. That was the last time I ever heard from her.

wsawyer12

Declaration of Love

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He followed me on a night out, got on his knees, stopping traffic in the middle of a city center street to declare his love. We had been on two dates.

He also told me that same night that he could see into the future and already knew he was going to die defending my honor while I was carrying our twins. Yeah…he was fun.

whatsername235

Now is Not the Time

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I was dating a guy for not even 6 months when a family member in another province in Canada unexpectedly passed. My mom and aunties were going to go alone to deal with everything, but I knew there would be a lot of heavy lifting with his belongings, and I didn’t want them to do everything alone.

It might have been too much. I used to do weight training and can do a lot of heavy lifting, so me being there would help with that. So, I went and did most of the moving of my late uncle’s belongings.

I got everything organized and sorted, packed his truck, and drove it back to our home city, which was an 8-hour drive. On top of that, I dealt with all the paperwork, since I have a long history of admin experience.

I’m also a part-time Ordained Minister and was asked to do the eulogy for the funeral/cremation. No problem, that’s my job and it’s an honor to serve my family. During this time, the dude I’m with won’t stop blowing up my phone. He tries to tell me I’m cheating on him.

He even messages my brother on Facebook saying that there’s an emergency and he needs to talk to me right away. The emergency was that he’s afraid my uncle’s passing made me unlove him. I cut ties as soon as I got back in the city, but he still stalked me.

unrealcrocodiletears

Shocking News

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I am days away from giving birth and my boyfriend just decided to tell me that he can’t be at the birth—because he’s married. I’m just in shock right now. Like I almost feel numb. I was really happy and looking forward to the baby, and I just feel really sad right now so I need to take a breather.

Everything is ready for the baby and I’m still excited to meet them, but Jesus. So first off, he’s quite a bit older than me—I’m 23 and he’s 37. I know the age gap probably should’ve been a red flag, but I was stupid. We’ve been together for two years, but he lives in a different city.

When I got pregnant, he said he was going to move to my city and we would move in together, and that he just needed to finalize some things with his ex-wife.

He told me he was divorced when we met and I never had any reason to question it. I knew that he had two kids with her as well. He told me the truth about that, just not that he wasn’t divorced—or even separated.

So fast forward, I’m 39 weeks and he suddenly got uncommunicative, which is less than ideal when you’re literally about to give birth. Bear in mind that he was supposed to have been fully moved in here a month ago, but he kept delaying.

Today I found out I am going to be induced on Monday unless the baby decides to come out over the weekend, so I contacted him and I was like, okay, what’s going on? 

And that’s when he told me the horrible truth. That he isn’t actually separated or divorced, that he never told his wife about anything, and how he felt like he was backed into a corner.

I don’t feel sorry for him for that because that’s his own fault, but obviously literally four days before giving birth isn’t the time you want to get this news, and I have no idea what to do now.

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A Change of Wardrobe

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My boyfriend and I have been together for three months. My sleepwear consists entirely of tank tops and underwear. I have underwear for during the day and for dates, which is primarily small and lacy, and then I’ve got women’s briefs and men’s boxers (usually a cotton blend) for sleeping.

They’re really comfy and really big. I don’t think they’re ugly, they’re just not very cute. Well, my boyfriend slept over last night and I went to get dressed for bed. As I pull out the briefs he goes “Do you have to wear those?” so I pull out the boxers.

He says that’s worse, and asks if I can wear some of my “nice” underwear to bed. I tell him that wearing lace all day and then overnight and again the following day is how you get yeast infections.

That just grossed him out. So I put them on and go to get into bed, and he asks me to take them off, not for intimacy, but just so I’m not wearing boxers to bed. I ask him what the big deal is anyway, and his reply made me so angry. 

“Forgive me for wanting to find you attractive.” I don’t know what to say to that but he rolls over, straight to sleep, no cuddling. This morning I wake him, we kiss, I’m thinking it’ll lead somewhere, but he touches my boxers, stops, gets dressed, and leaves.

This is starting to affect my self-esteem just a bit. I’m only wearing them because they’re comfortable and I don’t want to buy all new stuff, but this is apparently a real turn off for him and it’s causing problems. Oh, but it gets worse.

I texted him finally and straight-up asked what the issue was again. He thinks it’s “gay.” As a someone who is bi, I cannot see an alternative to breaking up with him right now.

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Everyone Is Getting Along

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I walked in on my son in bed with my brother’s wife in a cabin, and I think they have been doing this for a while. My brother moved in with us in February with his wife and two children.

My husband and I have a big house on a farm, and we thought it would be a good chance to stay together as family and for my nieces to spend time on the farm. I have three teenage children and all of them live with us.

On the day my brother arrived, I went to buy groceries with my oldest son, who is 18, and he went to the pharmacy to get his gym supplements and I bought the food. I saw condoms in my son’s plastic bag when we arrived back at the house. I didn’t think much of it, though—he has a girlfriend.

Everything was fine, everyone got along, and my son and my sister-in-law would often go on an early run around the farm. But then last month, they left on their run while I was up baking. Strangely, I never saw them make any rounds around the farm.

I asked about it and they said they decided to hit the road. I accepted that at the time. Yesterday, I was coming from a friend’s house early in the morning. The sun wasn’t up yet and it was little dark, but I saw that the cabin we have in the farm was open and the light was on.

I thought maybe one of the employees had forgotten to lock up, so I went to close the door and switch off the light. As I got closer, I heard an unsettling sound.

It was of people being intimate. I took a peek, and it was my son and sister-in-law going at it. I didn’t confront them, I was so in shock. I still haven’t told anyone what I saw and I don’t know what to do.

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Pack Your Things

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I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and everything has been great—except for one thing. Every single day, at least once, he will tell me that I stink and smell of B.O. When we met, I showered every day, applied regular deodorant in the morning, brushed my teeth three times a day.

Now I am so paranoid about smelling bad that I shower at least twice a day. I also apply new industrial-strength deodorant every few hours (I have a reminder on my phone), perfume, and I brush my teeth anytime I eat or drink something that isn’t water. I feel like I’m going crazy.

I didn’t think I smelled bad in the beginning and I don’t think I smell bad now, but I obviously smell bad to him, right? I’m that weirdo who keeps “sneakily” smelling their own armpits. I have been to the doctor and he has said there is nothing medically wrong.

It has honestly gotten to the point where I literally shove my armpit in friends’ faces, asking if I smell bad. They all say I don’t smell like B.O. at all. One friend even said I smelled too clean, like a lush store.

I am getting so paranoid. He won’t cuddle or anything when he says I smell. Then something unexpected happened. I waited for him to make a comment this morning so I could talk to him.

It was less than an hour after waking up that he said “god you stink,” even though I had already showered and put on deodorant. I snapped and asked what exactly was he smelling because, at this point I’m one of the cleanest people on the planet.

I said if I still smell bad to him, then we should just break up. He got all panicked and upset, and he made a mind-blowing confession. I eventually got it out of him that this is what his father always said to his mother.

Apparently, his father told him that it was a sure-fire technique to have a woman never leave you because “she will feel too low to cheat, will love only you, and will always be clean.”

Needless to say, his father is wrong. He’s packing his things and moving out of my house today.

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An Odd Routine

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Hi, everyone. This will probably be lengthy as I have nobody in my life to talk to about this. My wife suffers from intense germophobia and anxiety. We have been together for 11 years and married for eight.

She has not always been like this; she was relatively normal while we dated, but it started to get so much worse after we got married. She previously worked at a hotel as a receptionist and was occasionally required to handle and wash guest towels.

Well, she ended up contracting a staph infection and had to be hospitalized to have the infection drained. Following this, she had to be on antibiotics for 30 days. Ever since that experience, her anxiety and fear of infection has steadily grown over the years up until this point.

We also have two children—a two-year-old boy and five-year-old girl—and her tendencies affect them, too. The following list is my attempt at a comprehensive germ-prevention “Standard Operating Procedures” of our household:

If I touch a light switch I need to wash my hands

If I touch a doorknob I need to wash my hands

If I go to the garage I need to take a shower before I can sit down or do anything

If I touch her pajamas or I touch towels then I need to take a shower

If I even enter the guest bathroom then I have to take a shower

If my kids enter the guest bathroom they have to have a bath

I am not allowed to use her toilet in the master bathroom

She stops up her toilet every day and requires me to plunge and clean it (she uses 3x as much toilet paper as a regular person would). The cleaning process is 3 Clorox wipes—one for the seat, one for under, and one to use to flush it with.

I have to immediately shower after this. If she spills excess water on the floor then I have to mop it up. She goes through entire loads of her pajamas daily just trying to change her clothes. Every time she uses the toilet, she has to change her clothes.

She washes her hands and arms up to her elbows and then her face. If she gets water on her shirt, she will change it. If, when putting on her shirt she touches it to her body, she will change it. If her pants touch the floor when she is putting them on, she will change them.

She discards the top shirts in her drawer every time she gets dressed. She uses 6-7 towels after a shower, discarding half of them because “they touched my chest.” As you can see, this adds up and I end up folding laundry for 60-90 minutes every day.

This doesn’t include the time it takes to actually change it out and take showers. If I change out laundry and I graze the doorframe when I enter the bedroom with clothes, I have to discard ALL OF THEM. If an article of clothing touches the edge of the bed, discard it.

If I even touch the dishwasher I have to wash my hands. If she takes a shower and gets in the bed, she will NOT leave the bedroom or she considers herself dirty and would have to shower again. This means if she is hungry or thirsty, I will bring it to her.

Her showers last around 40 minutes. She bathes 3-4 times and washes her hair 2 times. Our water bill is ridiculous. If my son takes one step outside of his playpen then he has to have a bath before he can go in his bed. This includes naps.

If I take him outside (even just for 1 minute), he would need a bath before he can get in his bed. Not even changing his clothes would suffice. When I clean the house, everything has to be done in a very specific order.

No deviations from this order, or it has to be re-done: Change out laundry and leave washer free; Wash hands, face, and arms and change clothes; Sanitize all toys on floor and put away; Pick up all clothes and put in baskets; Sanitize all counters; Clean kids bathroom;

Take out master bathroom trash, wash hands, replace bag; Take out kids’ trash, wash hands, replace bag; Take out kitchen trash, wash hands, replace bag;

Clean guest bathroom, wash hands, take out trash, wash hands, replace bag; Take shower; Put bathroom rugs in washer; Take shower; Sweep entire house in a very specific order; Mop house in very specific order; Take shower.

I want to make this clear: I have no problem with cleaning, but I often do something in the wrong order or forget to wash my hands and I get berated. My wife has little patience for mistakes that involve germs. Often, I have to clean the house late at night after the kids go to bed so I will be doing it after midnight.

Of course I will make mistakes when I am mentally exhausted. If I bring her water, I have to wash my hands and then hold the cup over my head as it clears the kitchen counter. She thinks that if I hold her cup around my chest that it will touch the counter and be dirty.

I do the same thing with plates and utensils. If I have to discard a piece of clothing on the floor in her vicinity, she will change her clothes and get angry. She thinks that the air created when the clothing hits the floor will blow bacteria all over her. This is perhaps the one that upsets me the most. 

If my dog gets out, he has to have a bath before he can come back. He gets out often because she won’t close the door. My wife will not touch doorknobs. She uses her foot to close the door and she will just leave it open over actually closing it—even when she leaves the house.

If I leave the house with my phone, I cannot bring it back into the house until I sanitize it. That includes washing the phone case with soap and water. No shoes on in the house, ever. I had contractors over a month ago and they wore shoes.

Well, I had to sanitize every object they touched, and mop TWICE where they walked. Her depth perception is abysmal. We get in so many fights because she thinks that I touched her with a dirty object when I was halfway across the room. 

When she gets dressed, I have to watch her and verify that she doesn’t touch her body with the outside of the shirt. Same with pants. We never have people over because of her fear of infection.

Plus, I am the one who has to clean and sanitize so I am reluctant to even mention hosting an event or having a party at the house. There are more things I have to deal with, but I cannot remember every situation right now.

The worst of it for me is the constant laundry (3-4 loads a day, sometimes more) and showers (4-5 showers a day). I have taken as many as 9 showers in one day and as many as 35 showers in one week. I wash my hands over 50 times a day.

I have gotten to the point where I just pretend to take a shower or wash my hands if she isn’t in the room. I fantasize about just being able to get through my day not feeling like a puppet on a string. I get no sleep (maybe 4-5 hours on average) and have almost no free time. And this is not because of my kids.

You may be thinking, “Dude, go to marriage counselling.” We did that about two months ago. My dad may be the only person who really knows what I am going through and he told me to be completely honest—hold nothing back. That is exactly what I did.

I told the counselor everything that I just revealed to all of you. I have had this talk with my wife already, but she says, “You can leave at anytime, if you can’t handle it you don’t have to be here.” The counselor was speechless for a second, but then began to address my wife, asking her if it was all true.

My wife just shut down and barely refused to acknowledge it. After the session, my wife got upset at me for “throwing her under the bus” and canceled all future sessions. I want to say one last thing. Before she went deep into this fear of infection, we had a great relationship.

We loved each other and felt we were meant to be. I still love her and want it to work. I have been dealing with the worst of this for nearly three years now. I am physically and mentally exhausted. I have thought of leaving multiple times, but I am afraid of how it will affect my kids.

We also bought a huge house and invested sums of money into it that we would lose. My wife refuses to take medication for her anxiety, though I don’t blame her; most of it hasn’t worked in the past.

I talked to my wife a few minutes ago and let her know exactly how I feel—again. She broke down, as expected, and ended our conversation before I could continue it any further. When I get home we will continue to address this.

Misofobeeuh

Family Matters

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When I was 23 (five years ago), I was engaged to Ryan. Our engagement ended when my stepsister Kelly begged me to leave him. Her reason why was disturbing. 

It was because she slept with him and they loved each other, but Ryan was too afraid to break up with me because he didn’t want to hurt me or my family. When I confronted Ryan about it, he denied it.

He said Kelly had been trying to come on to him for some time and he never mentioned it because he didn’t want to ruin our relationship. He begged me not to believe her, and so we continued how we were.

Kelly grew resentful and made nasty comments about how I was forcing a man who didn’t even love me to marry me because I had low self-esteem. A month later, she sent me a video that ruined my life. 

It was of them getting it on in my bed, and multiple screenshots of him telling her he loved her, how he wished she was the girl he was marrying, how he hated that I wouldn’t let them be together. I was devastated and angry, but my best friend convinced me not to go nuclear on them.

Instead, I quietly moved out when Ryan was at work the next week. I contacted my dad and my stepmom and asked them if I could move in temporarily. I removed the money I had contributed into our joint account for wedding expenses and transferred the rest to him before closing the account.

Once I got settled in, I sent all of the screenshots she sent me to all of our relatives and his. Ryan tried to get back together with me multiple times, but I ended up blocking him after I found out even worse news. I discovered he had proposed to her with the same ring he gave me.

Now, Kelly is my stepsister from my mom’s side. I have another stepsister and stepbrother from my mom’s second marriage, as well as a half-sister. They all went to the wedding.

Whenever I tried to express that I was hurt by the fact they were just supporting Kelly/Ryan as though what they did to me meant nothing, they would shrug it off and say they couldn’t cut them off completely because they were family.

I haven’t spent a single holiday with my mom’s side since, and neither has my older biological brother or sister. I only see my mom and half-sister when I invite them over to my place, as Kelly/Ryan moved in with my mom and my stepdad a year after they got married.

Our relationship is very rocky, but I’ve grown closer to my dad/stepmom and their children, who have all been very supportive since this all happened, so it’s not all been bad. But fate just dealt me another curveball. On New Year’s Day, my boyfriend (now husband) proposed to me.

We had a small engagement party, which I invited my mom and half-sister to. They never turned up because I was “excluding half of our family.” I never invited my stepdad or stepsiblings because they were pretty hurtful when it came out that Kelly/Ryan were sleeping together.

They claimed it wasn’t their fault I got in the way of “true love” and made me out to be some sort of vindictive Disney villain for being angry with them. We were planning to have our wedding ceremony this summer, but in late February my husband suggested we postpone it until next year.

I ended up finding out I was pregnant a month before our original wedding date, so we had a courthouse wedding on that date with the plan to hold the ceremony next year. Only my dad’s side of the family were aware of both the pregnancy and the wedding.

My stepmom likes to knit, so she’s been making some stuff for the baby. Recently, she posted about the things she had made on Facebook with a caption talking about how excited she was to have another grandchild soon. I was tagged in the post. I have zero issues with the post.

I never told my family I wasn’t going to inform my mom’s side. It wasn’t that I intentionally hid it from her, she just never seemed very interested in my life/relationship so I never brought it up.

My mom called me an hour later to demand to know if I was pregnant and how she couldn’t believe I hadn’t told her she was finally going to be a grandmother. She has since invited me and my husband over to her house multiple times. I’ve declined every single time for the obvious reason.

My stepdad, who I’ve barely spoken to in 5 years, has reached out to tell me how excited he is to meet the baby and my husband, same with my siblings. Even Kelly reached out to my husband to congratulate us. I was furious. The next time my mom and stepdad called me, I finally laid into them. 

I told them I didn’t want them to keep inviting me over when they knew I would be forced to see Kelly/Ryan if I came. I told them how hurt and angry I still am over what they did to me and how my “family” dismissed my feelings.

I told them how they wouldn’t throw Kelly/Ryan away, but they were so quick to leave me out to rot. All this while I was going through the worst betrayal I’d ever experienced in my life. I told them I wasn’t even sure I wanted people like them in my child’s life.

My mom was crying and kept saying I was being cruel, and I couldn’t deprive her of her first grandchild. The thing is, my baby ISN’T her first grandchild. My sister has two adopted daughters already, who my mom doesn’t even try to bond with.

She kept wailing about how I might be the only person in our family to even give her grandchildren. My stepdad got angry and defensive. He claimed I was petty for holding onto something that happened five years ago.

He pointed out how I had found someone else, so I should understand how love works and sometimes two people just can’t help themselves. You love who you love, basically. He said Kelly/Ryan were happy together, so I should be happy for them the way they’re happy for me and my husband.

The ironic thing is, my sister told me Kelly/Ryan looked like they were on the verge of divorce and they argue constantly. She says my siblings all hate him but pretend they like him for Kelly’s sake. I ended up hanging up because I was so angry, and when I get angry, I start crying.

I didn’t want them to think they got to me. Since then, I’ve been receiving texts and calls nonstop from my mom’s family. They’re all essentially telling me I should be over things already.

It’s gotten to the point where my husband and I have switched phones so he can screen my messages for me, and I don’t have to read them.

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She's Always Traveling

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My wife works as a flight attendant and is often doing long journeys to other countries.  Our second anniversary was last week and she was not going to be home for it, so I decided to give her a surprise card and one of a few gifts.

However, I was going to bury it in her luggage suitcase before she was about to leave. That’s when I found them. They were new-looking white lace lingerie pieces that I have never seen before, as well as a pair of heels that I do know because I got them for her.

As soon as I saw them, there was a ringing in my ears and it felt like the world had come to a halt. I have been trying to come up with reasonable explanations as to why she would have that, but none of them are in character for her as far as I am aware.

That’s why now I am fearing the worst—infidelity. She doesn’t know I saw it because I didn’t leave the gift and card, but she has been back home since then and gone again.

I am going crazy with the thoughts of her with another man, but I don’t have concrete proof. I don’t know how I’d even get solid evidence to come to her with.

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Not Who I Was Expecting

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I matched with this girl on Tinder. She was significantly bigger than girls I normally date, but we have literally everything thing in common so I figured I’d give it a shot. So after talking for a few days, we decided to meet up at this nerd bar last night. I get there and pick a table.

After waiting a few minutes, this beautiful woman comes over and starts trying to flirt with me. That’s very strange, so I assume she must be after something. Free drinks, my kidneys, I don’t know.

So I explain to her that I’m actually waiting for someone and I don’t want to give a bad first impression by chatting up some other woman when she walks in. That’s when she springs it on me that she’s actually the one I’m waiting for.

She told me how she’s lost about 130 lbs over the past couple years and she wants to make sure guys are actually interested in her and not just her body. She was also testing me to see if I would ditch the fat girl if someone hotter showed up.

So here’s the thing: I don’t know how I feel about being “tested.” I don’t want to live my life questioning every decision I make like she might jump out from around the corner at any minute. But she’s also really attractive and very cool otherwise. I’m not sure how I should proceed.

Anon_64

Love Me Tinder

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I met a girl on Tinder, and we went for a coffee date. We shared some of the same music tastes, and she lets me know that one such performer is playing at a local club on Friday. I suggest we go together and do dinner before.

When Friday comes, we do a late sushi dinner and head to this club around 10 for the aforementioned show. The headliner, who we wanted to see, is supposed to go on around midnight. We get to the club, finally get to the bar and order drinks then head to the dance floor.

She pounds the drink and says that she is getting another drink. She comes back a few minutes later with a new drink, gives me a kiss on the cheek, and wanders off to the dance floor.

I am not someone who is overly possessive and figure my wanting to be in the back to get a full visual and auditory experience is not her jam. I wasn’t worried. Then, 20 minutes later, I looked across the dance floor—and my stomach dropped. I see her grinding on some dude.

Now, mentally, I am already back at my car, but I want to see what happens when she makes eye contact with me. They start making out, and the guy notices me eyeballing them. She then wanders off to get another drink, and the said guy comes up to me asking if I have a problem.

I explain the situation, and he says something to the extent of, “Sucks, bro, she’s with me now. Push off.” I took his advice and did just that. So, I called up a friend and went to his house, and we played Catan till about 2.

Then my phone rings. It’s 2:30am, and she is calling me asking where I went, since my car was clearly missing from the parking lot. I told her that I went home and she was on her own to find a ride.

I said something like, “I bet that guy you were making out with could give you a ride,” to which she responded with “which one.” We kissed once and made out zero times. I laughed, hung up, and rolled for more bricks.

OldRuskiNoir

His New Hobby

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My fiancé and I got engaged in December last year. In January this year, we both together decided to save money every month for our wedding and honeymoon. In six months, we saved around $8,000. Last month, my fiancé’s best friend bought a new gaming PC, so my fiancé also wanted to buy one.

He asked me about it, but I denied it because we both already had laptops. I told him that he can play games on the laptop that he already has. He repeatedly kept asking me if he could buy a PC and I finally agreed to it. Now I regret it so badly. After a week, the PC finally came…along with a new table and chair.

Apparently, he had ordered a gaming chair and a table as well. That night, I asked him how much it all cost. He was a little hesitant to tell me. After a while, he told me and I was distraught. He had spent our entire savings of $8,000 to buy the PC.

We had a very big argument that night and I scolded him for spending all our savings. After all, that savings contained not only his money but my money as well. And we were saving it for our wedding.

After everything I told him, his final reply was, “I will earn it all back soon.” I don’t trust those words at all. I thought nothing worse than this could happen, but it has. It has been about two weeks since he got the PC and since then, my fiancé hasn’t gotten up from his new chair.

Ever since he got the PC, he hasn’t even seen my face. The only time he talks to me is when he is hungry, and he calls to me and tells me to get him something to eat or drink. I call him to watch TV and he says he’s busy. I call him to sleep together and he says that he’ll sleep later.

He plays games the whole night, sleeps at 5 am and wakes up at 2 pm. Basically, he’s asleep when I’m awake and he’s awake when I’m asleep. For the past two weeks, I’ve been so lonely that it feels like I’m alone at home with nobody to even talk to.

He is ignoring me so much that I think he has absolutely forgotten that I even exist in his life. I honestly feel like his waitress nowadays. He has also 100% stopped doing all the household chores, and it’s getting very hard for me to do it all alone.

He is barely even brushing his teeth and taking a bath, let alone doing the house chores. Also, ever since the PC arrived, he hasn’t even touched his laptop to work, and he isn’t checking his phone to see if someone has sent him something work-related.

I’m now genuinely afraid that he might lose his job. Everything that is happening right now is so bad, I called my parents and told them about it last night and they almost had nothing to say.

I’m thinking of calling his parents tonight and telling it to them, and maybe they can knock some sense into him. I honestly don’t know what else to do now. I want to burn that PC.

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A Bit of a Loner

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My youngest brother has been staying with us. My wife and I have a 5-bedroom home but currently don’t have children yet, so we let him stay here. My brother has always been…different. He’s a bit of a loner and doesn’t have a lot of friends outside of his online group.

He’s a shy, geeky kid but he’s otherwise all right when you get to know him. Or so I thought. So here’s what happened. The wifi doesn’t quite reach my brother’s room, so he usually does his school work and other stuff in the dining room.

A few nights ago, I was walking to the fridge after waking up in the middle of the night, and saw my brother working on something. As I got closer, my jaw dropped. I saw a very compromising picture of my wife; a cleavage shot as she was gardening.

He noticed me and quickly closed the window like he had something to feel guilty about. I was too shell-shocked to say anything at the time and he just smiled awkwardly and ran to his room with the laptop. When I realized that something was up, I knew I had to find out more.

The next day, I asked my brother to pick up some groceries and some lunch for us. While he was away, I went to his room and, well, it wasn’t pretty. I saw a couple of my wife’s bras and some of her panties, which I can only assume he used to pleasure himself. I took his laptop and screw it, decided to snoop.

I knew his password, and it was there that I saw some of the most sickening entries I’ve read. There were pictures of my wife in a towel, her working out, her in compromising positions, etc. All taken without her consent by the looks of it. The creepiest part? He sometimes listens in on us when we sleep together.

My wife can be a bit loud, but we didn’t think it would be a problem since his bedroom was in a different part of the house. I left the room feeling like I needed a shower. It was absolutely disgusting. Now I don’t know what to do. I find myself fighting the urge to pummel him into next week every time I see him.

I haven’t told my wife yet because I’m 100% sure she will feel violated and disgusted, so I want to find the best solution first before doing so. I so desperately want to kick him out but he has nowhere else to go. Even if I do, what should I tell my parents? The truth? This will most likely break the family apart.

I do plan on telling my wife soon but if I do, I can almost guarantee she would want nothing to do with him and would never want to visit the family if he’s around. I’m so lost right now. Still fighting the urge to beat my brother to a bloody pulp.

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Butter Face

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I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years, and I thought he was attracted to me, all of me. He’s never called me ugly and always compliments me with or without makeup. That all changed last night. 

He brought his friends over. I’m cool with them, but we’re not that close so usually when they do come over to play video games, I go upstairs. That night when I was walking past the room to the bathroom, I could hear my name.

The door was closed but I stopped to listen. I know eavesdropping is wrong, but c’mon, they said my name! I heard one of my boyfriend’s friends say that they hate that I always leave when they come because I wear shorts and a tank top around the house.

Meanwhile, I usually dress more conservatively when I’m around them in social settings. The friend went on to say that I have a big butt and nice cans, but I’m a “butterface” without makeup. And my boyfriend laughed! LOUDLY! He didn’t even defend me! 

His reply was somehow even worse than all that: “Her body is perfect.”

What?! They moved onto a different topic and started talking about other girls, so I gave up on listening and went back upstairs. I don’t think I’m ugly, but I did cry. I’m ashamed to say my self-esteem took a hit but it did. It hurt worse to know that my boyfriend laughed and didn’t defend my looks.

I won’t lie and say I’m the best supermodel, but I’m not ugly! I have shoulder-length brown hair, clear skin, and my features are decent. Maybe my eyebrows could be less sparse and I wear glasses, but I would give myself a solid 6/10 without makeup and maybe a 8 with?

Maybe I’m just delusional? I felt sick sleeping next to my boyfriend and wouldn’t let him touch me. He’s attracted to my body and not my face and I hate myself low key.

THROWRAsjaja2828

A Devastating Discovery

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I was about to propose to my girlfriend of seven years, but then I discovered something. For the past seven years, we’ve been really, really happy together. She’s sweet, loving, and caring. She’s close to my family, and me to hers.

We are really connected to each other, same passion, same likes and dislikes, we frequently travel together and all that. We rarely fight, and when we do, we resolve issues quickly. It’s like a perfect relationship. We’ve been steady, we’re genuinely happy in love.

Except just when I was contemplating proposing to her, I feel like she’s gone cold for the past month. Just this past Valentine’s day, we were on top of the world surprising one another with gifts and sweet nothings. But the following weeks felt different.

Her “I love yous” weren’t as enthusiastic. The way she talks and communicates with me feels different. She easily gets upset over trivial things. She seems to be a different person all of a sudden. I actually asked her what was wrong, but she assured me everything was ok and something was just bugging her.

I asked again but it seemed like she didn’t want to open up. She assured me though that she loved me very much. Then, just recently, like four days back, I was reminded that she has a spare phone just sitting in my drawer, though it was out of batteries.

So I grabbed a charger, booted it up…and it just so happened that her Google account was still logged in on the device. Curious, I went to see what she’s been up to lately—then I discovered her recent searches. They shocked me. 

The searches go like this: “I cheated on him,” “I cheated on him many times,” “I cheated should we break up,” “Breaking up a long term relationship,” and so on. The searches were dated just after Valentine’s day and onwards. Almost every day she looks at the same searches and other related topics.

I am devastated discovering this. I cannot eat, I cannot sleep. But I haven’t confronted her about this. We are currently far apart now due to work, but we will be seeing each other next week. I am confused, I am in shock, and I just don’t know how to react.

hypertext01

A Family Affair

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Me and my girlfriend have been going out for eight and a bit months. We didn’t sleep together straight away and first did it only a few weeks ago. I was a virgin before that, so I’m not experienced at all, and so far I haven’t been able to, you know, satisfy her.

Now, the kicker is that before dating me, my girlfriend was dating my brother. It was awkward at first, but we’re all okay now. Anyway, so last night I tried my best to get her there but in the end she told me to “just stop,” so I did. Then she said something that made my stomach drop. 

“Your brother turned me on so much more than you do.” I was so shocked by her saying that, I didn’t know what to say back. She got dressed and left the house and we haven’t spoken yet. I just feel so confused about how I feel.

I know I’m not as attractive as my brother, but I didn’t think she would say that. Am I just being a baby and getting upset over nothing? I understand she’s probably fed up and she might have just said it in the moment.

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Completely Controlling

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So my good friend Aaron and his girlfriend Mary have been together for almost 7 years. They met in college and are in a very close relationship. Personally, I would call them extremely co-dependent. Neither of them really have any friends aside from each other, and she doesn’t let him have guy friends.

In fact, she doesn’t let him do a lot of things. He’s not allowed to go out past 11, not allowed to drink or smoke, she has to approve of all of his friends, and he’s not allowed to be alone with other girls. She’s got this guy on a tight leash.

The reason why they’re still together is that Aaron is completely whipped, and to him she can do no wrong. He talks regularly about how amazed he still is that she finds him attractive. He’s a decent looking guy, but she’s like supermodel level good-looking.

They post cutesy couple photos every day—I’m pretty sure she makes him post them—and to everyone who sees them, they appear to be the perfect magical fairytale couple. But now I know the dark truth. 

A few weeks ago, he told my boyfriend and I that he was planning on proposing to Mary.

Of course, we congratulated him because he seemed super excited. Now here’s the issue: A few weeks prior to this, I hung out with a friend of Mary’s, Alison. Alison told me about a party they went to where Mary got drank too much and slept with her ex.

After the party, they began hooking up regularly, and she had a threesome with him and a friend of his. Aaron has no knowledge of these hook-ups.

I told my boyfriend about it because he shares my friendship with both of them, and he believes that we need to say something, but I’m not so sure how to even go about that. It will destroy him, ruin their entire relationship, and maybe a friendship as well.

However, I think in the long term he will be unhappy with a marriage where she’s so controlling. Not even that, but if she’s completely okay with cheating on her long-term partner it will be the same once they’re married.

anorangehorse

Everything Was a Lie

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My wife and I have been together since high school, and married for 10 years. My wife’s best friend Megan and I work for the same company, though in different departments. So yesterday, she wanted to meet me after work and told me that she had to tell me something.

I met her, and she immediately broke down and started crying. I tried to console her and asked if something was wrong. That’s when she told me that my wife and her husband were having an affair. According to her, this affair has been going on for years—but that was far from all.

She also told me that her husband was my three-year-old daughter’s biological father. Apparently, she confronted her husband and he didn’t deny anything. Well, when I confronted my wife, she tried to deny everything. But when I told her that Megan told me about it, she broke down and started crying, too.

I really don’t know what to do. I mean, everything was a lie, right? My little girl Taylor is not mine and my wife blatantly faked everything for years. What do I live for now? I just don’t know what to do.

notthedad19

Five Years Down the Drain

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I’ve been dating this girl for over five years, and she’s very special to me. Even at this point, I can’t help but hope she’s not too worried about why I’ve been acting so oddly. I honestly was planning to marry her sometime in the future as soon as we settled into our adult lives. 

But fate had to go and throw a massive wrench in my plans. One day, we were chilling at her house when I asked her if she could send me the funny picture she took earlier that day of one of our puppies. She was busy on her computer, so she told me to just grab her phone to send it to myself.

When I went into her phone gallery I noticed a “hidden” folder, which I hadn’t seen before. Out of curiosity, I opened it. I immediately regretted looking at it. It was filled with revealing pictures of her, most I’ve already seen. Some of which, however, she’s never sent to me before.

I thought maybe she was stockpiling for whenever I asked for any…I soon found out how wrong I was about that one. I clicked on a video. It was an intimate bedroom tape from the POV of the guy, but the thing is—I don’t remember filming it. It 100% wasn’t me, and it was a recent video.

For the last five years, we’ve had a few shares of fights, but nothing too serious. She’d always make me feel loved and I could tell she really cared about me. Or at least I thought she did.

After I returned her phone to her, I quickly got up and went home. I couldn’t stay there any longer. And now I’m here. I don’t really know what to do. I’m planning on confronting her and breaking it off, but right now I’m just in shock.

Five years down the drain, and I feel like I just lost my best friend. I’m not really sure how to feel. I can’t think straight.

throwrahoneypoop

Still Looking Towards the Future

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I have an 11-year old senior German Shepherd. He was hit by a car in 2018 and we went through a very difficult recovery process. He had seizures, urine issues, and a constant fear of anything going fast near him. Like, I couldn’t throw a ball anymore.

We actually got another puppy, but our senior was so stressed we had to re-home her. You would have sworn he was displaying rescue dog behavior, but he was just scared. Well, he’s moved past all of that now and I’m so proud of him.

The vet prescribed zoniamide for his seizures and so far he’s been recovering well. My vet and I were discussing ways to improve his “mobility.” It’s like a walking cane, but for dogs, and it has sensory objects on the end to prevent him from bumping into furniture.

We tested it in the office and his mood improved instantly, but at that time I couldn’t afford more treatment for him so I opted to come back. So I met this guy named Dan earlier this year while walking my dog.

He’s known since day one that my dog requires special treatment, and that I would absolutely provide what he needs. Everything went well at the beginning. Until one day I got too comfortable. We were talking about finances and I told him about my debt and the money I was saving up for my dog.

After paying off the debt from his previous treatments, I didn’t want to open another card so I started saving cash in a little fireproof chest. Well, Dan took it from me. Yesterday, I went to his place and I noticed he has a new setup.

I was asking him where he got the money from, and his response sent a shiver down my spine. We fought, he admitted what he did, and then he said, “He’s half gone anyway, you need to let go.” My dog is not even close to passing. He’s a little older, but he’s nowhere near that age.

We go to the veterinarian regularly and everything checks out as well as it can be given in his circumstances. No one has ever mentioned euthanasia; we’ve only been looking at the future and improvements.

We’re both students, so I don’t want to ruin his future but that was for my baby to get what he needed so he can walk around my home comfortably.

ThrowRA_escapehere

Not-So-Secret Past

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My boyfriend, who is 29, admitted that I am the oldest girlfriend he’s ever had. I am 21 years old. He then nonchalantly admitted to dating a 15-year-old when he was 27 and a 17-year-old when he was 28 before he got with me.

Now I want to break up with him. It has been a difficult time to be honest, my world has been turned upside down and I have been reeling from everything that happened.

I had been staying over at his place for the week and when I woke up from what I could only describe as a depression nap, he was already in his home office working. I took the opportunity to pack my things and brace myself for what I was about to do.

A part of me was still very much in denial of him being a predator, so I opted to fix breakfast so that I could get him to talk about it more. His revelations were shocking. I wanted to find out the true extent of these relationships.

I brought up his ex while we were eating, and he was more than inclined to talk about her. She went to the same high school as his sister, and that’s how he met her.

My now ex-boyfriend makes a 6-figure salary and he drives a really flashy car, which he says was the reason she approached him, “to check it out.” He continued to insist that she threw herself at him, and used him for his money when they finally got together.

I asked him about the girl’s parents, and he said he met them and that they clearly didn’t like him, but “as long as their daughter was happy, they were alright with it.” That particular line did me in, but he harped on.

He talked about how the dad never let him near his other kids and how much convincing it took for her parents to finally be all right with her sleeping over at his place. He says that they broke up because she found someone wealthier and she dumped him.

He apparently met the second girl, the 17-year-old, online. I asked for specifics. He said she lied about her age on Tinder because she was turning 18 soon anyways, and they just “clicked.” However, he was only looking for a rebound, so they didn’t “really date,” they just “screwed” (his exact words).

That apparently lasted a month until she dumped him as well. When I asked him if he prefers girls in that age range, he said, “Yes, but obviously I want a more mature woman to grow old with.” He then looked at me as if that statement was supposed to somehow reassure me, or make me feel better.

I couldn’t act passive anymore after that and I told him I do not think I am the woman he is going to grow old with. An argument ensued and he told me I was a “horrible lay anyways” and

“How dare you accuse me of such a horrible thing, you’re sick,” when I told him his proclivity for young girls was not normal and it might do him some good to get help for it.

I grabbed my bags and drove back to my apartment. Hindsight truly is 20/20 because so many red flags are glaring me in the face. I am petit (5’4, 120lbs) and he always liked how small I was. He constantly commented on it.

There were a few times where he told me I remind him of his ex and even though it made me feel uneasy, I just dismissed it as him having a “type.” I also didn’t know at the time that she was a teenager.

He has been insistent on me moving in with him and quitting my job because he makes enough money for both of us to live comfortably and he made it sound so romantic. I was genuinely considering it, and I think he might have been trying to isolate me, as he already didn’t like most of my friends.

He was also very emotionally manipulative. All the times he has ever guilt-tripped me or used the things I told him in confidence against me, all came rushing into my mind. I am starting to see how far from perfect our relationship was, and I am sick to my stomach thinking about it all.

I do not know how I can possibly stop him from doing this to someone else because I have no evidence and I am afraid my claims will be dismissed if I report him.

I am also concerned about how this will affect the victims in this case. Is it really all right for me to report something on their behalf?

ThrowRAhebephile

The Next Steps

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My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for a year and we had a baby boy last week. I had a natural birth and my boyfriend was there throughout the whole process. I screamed A LOT, and each time I did, he whispered something awful to me. 

Things like, “Can you stop screaming, you’re really embarrassing me.” I also threw up a few times and I saw him cover his face in shame. When I held the midwife’s hand for comfort, he whispered, “Let go of her, stop being so embarrassing.”

He also said that my birthing position was embarrassing too, and called me a few vulgar names. I’m really upset about his behavior that day, especially when it was when I needed his support the most.

When I try to talk to him about it, he denies ever saying it and that I’m being silly… I tried asking him about couple’s counseling, but he refused. My mom has agreed to let me stay at hers until I can find a new place for myself and the baby.

I haven’t said anything to him yet about splitting up; I’ve been advised not to so I am still planning out how I am going to take the next step.

ThrowRA540098

Still Processing Things

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My mom had an affair 18 years ago, and I am the product of it. My dad just informed me of all this, and told me he will not pay for my college, while my siblings got their college experience paid by our dad. Both my older brother and sister went to the same college.

My brother graduated two years ago, my sister is set to graduate in two years. Dad paid all their expenses, including rent, food, their cars, pocket money, you name it. My brother has a job now, his own place, lives together with his fiancée, and has his life together.

My sister already has a good-paying job, and my dad still pays for almost everything for her. I got accepted to the same college, which was always the plan, and was looking forward to talking with my parents about the next steps.

I was going to ask them to help me the same way they did for my siblings. Instead, I was met with a story about my mom’s cheating, how I am the result of her cheating, and how my dad is not willing to support me any more moving forward.

Dad told me that mom had 18 years to let me know and prepare me for the future, but obviously she never did. I was floored—what am I going to do? He said it was never his place to say anything since I am not his son, and he didn’t want to interfere with mom’s parenting.

Apparently, my grandparents know I am not dad’s biological son, but they haven’t bothered to tell me anything, either. My siblings had no idea, and they are as surprised as I am because there was never a hint of anything being off.

I might be naive, but I always thought I had a great relationship with my dad. We go to see sports together, we go fishing together, he tutored me when I had difficulties with math (dad is an engineer), and he taught me to drive. I never got a hint he stores resentment towards me.

I mean, he gave me my name, and has explained what my name means, and he was very proud of it. It’s a story he tells from time to time. He likes to talk about stuff like that about me.

My mom, meanwhile, has never said a word about anything, and apparently she was supposed to have “the talk” with me, but she never did. I feel abandoned and unprepared for what lies ahead. I am not even sure I will be able to go to college anymore, as I always assumed my parents would pay for it.

I never had a job, and I am not sure what job I can even get to support me through college. I have no idea how to apply for loans. All my mom has done is cry and apologize throughout this. But nothing of substance; she has no idea how to help me. I don’t even know if I am welcome at home anymore.

It’s all up in the air, and I feel shame leaving my room. It’s a nightmare. Still, if they ask me to move out, I don’t know where to go. I don’t have any savings. I am angry at my mom, and I am confused about where I stand with my dad.

There’s a man out there who is my father who never wanted to have anything to do with me. I feel rejected and I have no idea what to do to fix this situation. I have no idea how to process all this.

throwawaynocollege

Stick to the Rules

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I have agreed to carry my sister’s baby for her, as she is unable herself and lacks the financial resources to pay a surrogate. I am happy to do this…or at least I was. The baby is biologically my sister’s and my brother-in-law’s. This child is made from her last and only viable egg.

They had tried many times before, but they all failed. So I am 6 months along at the moment and I met a lovely man recently and we are in the early stages of a relationship. He knows about my situation and is very accepting and considerate. Before agreeing to carry their baby, we had some firm rules in place.

They asked me to stay away from any bedroom contact with men. I agreed and I really didn’t mind, nor do I mind it right now. The agreement was no bedroom intimacy of any kind, and I have not done anything with anyone, as was agreed. But this is where it started to unravel. 

A few days ago, I introduced my new boyfriend to my sister and brother-in-law, and at first everything was great. They invited us for dinner last Saturday, we had a great meal and a great time together. They all seemed to get along—that is, until he had to leave.

When my boyfriend had said his goodbyes, he then came over to me and hugged and kissed me. It was quite passionate but not in a vulgar way, nor was it for a long period, literally seconds. As soon as he left, my sister and brother-in-law jumped down my throat. 

They were talking about how I broke the rules, and how disgusting and wicked I am. I genuinely was shocked, since I had not expected such a reaction for just getting a kiss. I decided not to argue or even get into a conversation with them and just walked home.

I live about a 30 minutes walk away, and by the time I got back home I had an email waiting for me. Its contents made my blood boil. The email contained our original agreement but now it included a section with “No kissing of any kind,” and they want me to sign the new agreement.

I don’t want to sign it at all, not in the slightest. I have been more than accommodating and considerate of all their original requests, and I feel like they are now crossing boundaries and acting as if I am some kind of farm animal they own and control.

However, I don’t want to create any further animosity between us. They have been calling and texting me since then and I have yet to answer. I understand their anxiety and worry from when we originally made the first agreement, and I viewed it and still view their initial request as acceptable.

I wasn’t in a relationship at the beginning of all this and they were worried about potential STI, and I understood and I was already taking a break from men at the time. Still, I am doing this completely for free and without any reward other than helping my sister have her first and only biological child.

ThrowRA_927

The Shock of My Life

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My wife and I have been married for four years and we have a two-year-old. We dated on and off for three years before getting married. Last night, I got the shock of my life. She said her ex’s name while we were getting it on. When I noted it, she gave some weird excuse as to why.

She said it’s a common name (it is a very common name) and she must have heard it recently. I wasn’t going to start a big argument with her at that time. But it has since gotten me worried about why she did that. For some background, this was a guy she was with for a couple years before I met her.

They met in college and were serious for some time. They had broken up when I met her and decided they were better as friends. They were friends for years before they dated. We started dating, but he remained in the picture.

He was her best friend first and foremost and I grudgingly went along with it for her. But several months passed, and I put my foot down, saying it was too uncomfortable for me. There was some resistance, but she stepped back from him. But there was one big issue.

Every time we broke up, she was with him. We finally reconciled and got engaged. He apparently didn’t know this and stopped talking to her. She was devastated at the time, which should have been a red flag, I now see. At the time, though, we talked about it and she was happy to have chosen me.

Now after this has happened, I’m tempted to see if she’s gotten back in contact with him again. I know she’s checked in on his social media because I saw the searches on our laptop. She doesn’t know I know that. I don’t think she’d cheat, but this guy was always different for her.

throwradontknow

She's Everything I'm Not

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I came home from work early and found female sneakers in the garage that weren’t mine. At that point, I sort of already knew what I’d be walking into. 

My husband has recently become very fit and has been consistently going to the gym, during which he made a female friend who he even brought home for dinner last week. Yeah.

She’s beautiful and thin and everything I am not, which instantly made me feel horrible. So, I talked to him about it. He encouraged me to build my confidence and reassured me he loved me and would always be loyal to me.

I walked into the laundry room from the garage and sort of tiptoed around the house before going upstairs. That’s when I saw the sight that ruined my life. They were getting intimate. In our bed. With a framed picture from our wedding above the nightstand next to it.

I silently left the room and got back in my car with tears streaming down my face and drove to get food and just sat in my car. I’ve been crying since. It’s now almost 1am (I walked in on them at 7pm) and I’ve returned to the hospital.

He called me asking why I wasn’t home and I told him my shift is extended but in reality, I’m laying in one of the on-call rooms bawling my eyes out. I feel so worthless and ugly and stupid.

I don’t even know how to proceed. On the one hand, I want to divorce him and never see him again, but on the other hand, I feel so gross and the self-loathing is getting too much right now.

SnowGlobe12

Don't You Trust Me?

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I met my wife when we were in high school and we married in college. We have five beautiful children together—really, I consider them a total blessing regardless of what I’m about to bring up—and up until a couple of weeks ago, I thought that we had the perfect marriage.

We were typical high school sweethearts for the longest time. We go out together, we never fight, and I feel like I’ve done everything a loving husband should do.

I am saying this not to make myself out as the perfect husband, for example my work has always meant I work long hours and maybe I haven’t always been there when she needed me, but I want to stress that I’ve never felt our marriage was in any trouble.

And never in a million years would I ever have suspected my wife of being disloyal. She’s always done everything she could to support me and take care of our children. Now, my eldest daughter recently had an ancestry test done. Well, the results of the test shook me to my core. 

They strongly suggested I was not her father. She confided this to me privately, showing me the results, and I could tell this visibly upset her. Of course, the first thing I did was reassure her that no matter what, she’s my daughter and I’ll always love her unconditionally.

But secondly, the two of us decided to get an official paternity test, since the ancestry tests are not completely reliable. It comes back and I am indeed not her biological father. This news really broke me. I’m ashamed to say I broke down in tears in front of my daughter.

It was a combination of finding out about my wife’s infidelity and how upset I was making my daughter by how I was reacting. I really wish I had kept it in for her sake, but I didn’t. Following this, I asked my other children, except my youngest, to come and see me.

I wanted to know the extent of my wife’s infidelity—if it was a one off, I could maybe work past it, especially given how long ago it would have been. However, I didn’t want to tell my youngest as she is still in school, a teenager, and really I didn’t think it was appropriate to tell her yet.

We tell the other three what has happened, and I reassure them that I love them unconditionally and that I’ll always be their dad, but that I need to know how long this has been going on. God, I can’t begin to explain how touching their reaction was. 

They didn’t care if I wasn’t their biological father, they were just upset at how heartbroken I was. I feel like the only thing that has kept me going these last couple of weeks is their unwavering support. So we have paternity tests for each of the three done.

Not only are none of them my biological children, together four of my children have three different fathers. Which somehow made it worse. It’s like, she wasn’t just having an ongoing affair, she was having multiple? I can’t explain how this makes it worse, but it just does.

So I confront my wife with this, expecting her to confess and beg for forgiveness. She doesn’t confess. She doesn’t even take it seriously. She says the tests must be flawed. All four? How the heck am I supposed to take that seriously?

I keep bringing it up and she keeps brushing it off, getting progressively more annoyed at me. When I bring it up, she will try and guilt trip me. “We’ve been together since high school, do you seriously not trust me?” etc. But how am I supposed to trust her in the face of such overwhelming evidence?

Needadvicedesperate

I Guess It Could Be Worse

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I live a pretty normal life, and I thought so did my girlfriend. We’ve been together for a few months and after things got serious, we moved in together. We started sharing a lot of the household responsibilities, but the one thing she was adamant on doing was the laundry.

She would come home and find me in the bedroom getting the laundry together and would quickly ask me to go do something else. I’d come back to finish the laundry and she would have already started it.

I always thought it was sweet and never her job to do it alone, but hey, if it makes her happy to do it all the time, I wouldn’t stop her. This is where it takes a turn for the weird. I keep all my socks and underwear in the bottom drawer of my dresser.

I also go to the gym frequently, so I always keep a good supply of clean gym socks ready to go. I never kept count, but I know by just a visual glance I have several pairs. This morning when I went to grab a fresh pair to pack for the gym, I noticed there were several dress socks, but no gym socks.

Again, not weird, they must have been in the laundry. I went to check the laundry basket and it was empty, so I checked the washing machine and dryer. Both were empty. I couldn’t figure out where all of my gym socks had gone.

So, I did the very natural thing of asking my girlfriend what had happened to them. After all, she is the one who does the laundry all the time. She went silent, turned red, and ran out of the room.

When I went after her to see if she was okay, she wouldn’t talk to me. I told her I wasn’t mad, I was just looking for my socks. She kind of mumbled, “I don’t know.” I still wasn’t mad, of course, but I was super confused. Socks just don’t disappear.

So I asked her again, even laughed about it, and she just looked at me and got mad and said, “I’ll buy you new ones!” The first thought that went through my head was she had somehow managed to destroy my socks while washing them.

I thought the sight of that was actually pretty funny, so I joked with her about ruining my socks. Wrong. Thing. To. Say. She started immediately crying. Like, full on sobbing. At this point I don’t care about the socks anymore, I want to know what’s wrong with my girlfriend.

I sat down next to her on the bed and put my arm around her and asked her if she was okay. She just kept saying she was sorry and that she would buy me new socks. I tried assuring her again it was okay. Even went so far as to say I would buy new socks and she didn’t have to.

I sat with her for a few minutes, trying to calm her down, and eventually had to get ready for work. I told her loved her and got my things together to leave for the day. On my way out, I grabbed the garbage to take outside.

When I got outside, I lifted the lid off the garbage can and I noticed a small plastic bag sitting on top of the garbage already in there. I could see through the bag (kind of the semi see-through ones), and there were socks in the bag.

Since I was sure she had somehow managed to ruin the socks washing them, I wanted to see for myself. I opened the bag and immediately regretted my choice. There, inside the bag, were several pairs of my gym socks covered in what looked like poop. As soon as the smell hit me I knew it WAS POOP.

We don’t own any pets. We don’t have any kids. WHOSE POOP WAS ON MY SOCKS? Work could wait. I couldn’t go the rest of the day wondering why my gym socks were covered in poop and inside a plastic bag in the garbage can. I grabbed the bag and walked back inside.

As soon as my girlfriend saw the bag she flipped out and started yelling at me. She said I shouldn’t be going through the garbage and that I was disgusting for bringing it back into the house.

I asked her to calm down and that I just wanted an answer as to why there was poop on my socks. I wasn’t blaming her or anything, but she started accusing me of blaming her. That’s when it clicked. 

I don’t know what it was that led me to ask this, but everything leading up to this moment had just been so crazy. I asked her, “Is this your poop?” She started sobbing again and ran out of the house. I didn’t go after her this time.

The only conclusion for me at the time was that she used them after going to the bathroom. Which that alone has its own set of questions above everything else. I sent her text asking her to come back, and I left for work after throwing away the bag of poopy socks.

She texted me back and she’s clearly embarrassed, but felt she owed me an explanation. She said she didn’t want to talk about it in person and that we could discuss it over texting and to NOT bring it up in person. Her responses were super short, but I’m getting the idea.

I flat out asked her if it was a thing she was into. It is not, apparently. She confessed to using the socks after going to the bathroom. I found the reason she always does the laundry is because she was hiding the fact that she uses socks to wipe with, primarily her own.

I had no reason to question the amount of socks she ever has because who pays attention to that kind of thing? She thought I would notice and think it was weird since she doesn’t own many socks.

She admitted she has done this for a long time. Her reasoning, as best as I can understand, is that because she is a germaphobe (her word), she is afraid toilet paper will tear and is afraid of getting her hands messy in ANY WAY. She uses socks because they cover her entire hand.

After she’s done with them, she throws them away. She used mine because she didn’t have other socks. So, my girlfriend has a fear of getting poop on her hands so she wipes with socks, and has done so for a long, long time. It could be worse, I guess.

I hope we can laugh about this later. I’m trying to find the humor in it now, but I’m still weirded out, I have to admit. At least I know the truth.

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Playing Make Believe

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My wife and I have been married four years now, coming on five. We have generally had a good relationship and a good marriage. We had a reasonably expensive wedding, which we’re still paying for now. I get the bill every month to prove it.

My wife took charge of planning the wedding, so it was to her tastes. She seemed to enjoy it at the time. In fact, for the first few years of our marriage, she would look back at the wedding with me happily and without issues.

In recent months, however, I’ve noticed my wife’s attitude to a) our wedding and b) our marriage itself shift. It began by her (I thought jokingly) referring to herself as my “girlfriend.” She told me to buy her a “girlfriend” card for Valentine’s Day rather than a “wife” one, for example.

I thought she was just playing around at first. But this behavior has only escalated. Two months ago, my wife stopped wearing her wedding ring. I was understandably upset and asked her if there was something wrong.

She told me everything was fine and she just “Doesn’t like the sensation of jewelry on her hands.” My wife has never liked rings and so this could be the case. But when we are with friends, my wife will now get upset if I talk about her as “my wife” rather than just a girlfriend.

She will go as far as to interrupt me if I’m talking or telling a story to “correct” me on our relationship. Initially, this was something our friends laughed at, but now everybody just finds it understandably awkward.

One of our friends was talking about their own wedding, which is scheduled for early next year. They asked for advice from my wife about how she’d planned ours, and my wife’s reply stunned the room to silence. She responded with, “What wedding?”

When our friend continued talking about the table decorations my wife had used, my wife visibly teared up in front of the whole group and had to step outside. Later that evening, I asked her directly if she has a problem with our relationship or if I’m doing something wrong in our marriage.

She assured me that everything is fine between us. From my perspective, outside of this issue, our relationship is as strong as ever.

We are considering kids in the near future, and my wife recently suggested we get matching tattoos as a renewal of our love. I just don’t know what this is about.

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Gaslight

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My wife and I have been married for slightly more than three years now. Last Christmas, I saw texts I wish I could unsee. I found she had been having a long conversation with a co-worker of hers, in which they talked about sleeping together multiple times and that they couldn’t wait for the next one.

The guy said he was going to book a hotel near their office right after Christmas. In this conversation, when he said he was looking forward to seeing my wife, she would reply with things like “I’m looking forward to much more than just seeing you” etc. You get the idea. Overly flirty and all that.

When I confronted my wife, however she denied the conversation existed. After deleting it, she showed me her phone to prove it didn’t exist. But I had taken a few pictures. She then said it was all virtual and that they never did anything physical.

To prove she was right, she messaged her co-worker (in front of me) asking if he had booked the hotel, he replied “not yet.” She then asked if he was really expecting them to meet, to which he replied negatively.

She promised they would never talk again and I agreed, simply because I love her a lot and wanted to trust her, but in my mind I wasn’t completely sure she had been honest.

For a few weeks, I must admit I checked her phones a few too many times, so she changed her password, which I was fine with because I was probably being too paranoid.

This week, I picked her phone up because I needed a code that had been sent to her phone number; I didn’t even need to unlock the screen to get it. When I saw her messages, my blood ran cold. To my surprise, under the message with the code there were other messages from the same guy.

One of them was an audio, the second one was a shirtless photo of himself in front of a mirror, and the third one said “sweaty” and a few emojis with the tongue. I confronted her, since she had promised they wouldn’t talk ever again and she said he just wanted to show her he’s going to the gym to show progress.

But that the rest of the times they talk it’s just about work, and that this is just a coincidence. I asked her to show me the rest of their messages but she said she had mistakenly deleted their conversation history.

My wife says she’s going to change this time and that I never really forgave her and that’s why she kept talking to the guy. She says this time she’s really going to stop but I have a hard time believing it. Or even if she does stop, I fear when things don’t go so well between us she’ll do it again.

I really love her but can’t keep living like this. My brain just can’t overcome the catastrophe and the collapse of the world I had built for me in which my wife is my love, my best friend, and partner, as well as the person I admire the most. She was entirely perfect, and made me happy for many years.

I thought no couple in the world could have what we had. We were both very happy for a long time. We were both attractive, we were both inherently good, had big hearts, and were individually wildly successful in our careers. Recently, I moved in with my family to think things through for few months.

It’s been a terrible time but a psychologist is helping me recover from a terrible mental state. My wife was very sorry and continued saying they hadn’t met. I knew it wasn’t true but was willing to forgive the woman of my dreams, who continued being in the highest altar of my universe.

Fast forward to last Saturday morning. I went back to our place, ready to forgive her and talk things through in the most mature way possible. And well, there she was, but I was the one who received the biggest surprise. THE guy was in my house without a piece of clothing on, and so was my wife.

The guy from the messages, the guy from the pictures. The one she said she didn’t even like. I caught him hiding in my bathroom as my wife was putting her pajamas on. When I saw him hiding in my bathroom, he uttered, “Sorry dude.” I didn’t even know what to say back.

All I said was, “I’ve got nothing against you.” Even if he was doing it in a house full of pictures of me. Pictures of our wedding and our families. Pictures of my late father who would be so sad to see how the marriage he never witnessed was going to end.

He has always been the reason I try to make the world a better place. He passed two months before our wedding. I’m sorry. But I understand enough is enough.

Even if my world collapses, I hope I can build a new one without lies and in which I’m not just a blind believer under an altar of a fake god.

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We Reached a Tipping Point

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My wife is a neat freak. Always has been. She throws notes on my desk out assuming they’re garbage, my belongings get rearranged to the point where it takes me hours to find them; it’s something I’ve come to accept. I’m not happy about it, but we have a pretty happy marriage on the whole.

I am a volunteer EMT, and I keep my boots unlaced up against the wall next to my clothes hamper so that I can throw them on along with my uniform if a call comes in during the middle of the night. Well, my wife has taken to tying the bootlaces when she sees them untied.

Not only does she tie them, but she tightens them and double knots them to the point where I need to undo the knot, open up the boots, and let a little slack out to fit my feet into them. I ignored it the first two times, but the third time she did it, I made it a point to bring up to her the next day.

I very calmly said, “Honey, I appreciate that you want everything neat, but please do not touch my boots in the future. Time is of the essence when I’m going on a call and at two in the morning I don’t have the time to unlace them and open them up.

It’s not just a minor inconvenience, it’s people’s lives, so I would appreciate it if you left them alone.” She rolled her eyes, said I was being dramatic, and that she wouldn’t help me out by keeping my things neat in the future. Well, she never stopped.

No matter how many times I’ve asked her, told her, begged her; she just laughs and says, “Well you know how I am!” Then disaster struck. The other night a page went out for a CPR in progress. I went to throw my boots on and they were, once again, tightened beyond recognition.

So I’m sitting there on the edge of the bed, cursing, trying to get my boots open, and fumbling due to the stress of the situation. My wife opened her eyes, groggily looked at me, and asked, “Don’t you need to go on that call?” I know I was in the wrong here, and I regret it.

I slammed the boot into the ground and yelled, “Yes! I do! I would have been out the door five minutes ago, except SOME STUPID WITCH MESSED WITH MY BOOTS AGAIN!” My wife got up without another word, walked into the bathroom, and slammed the door. I got my boots open and went on the call.

By the time we arrived, the officers had gotten her back, so I didn’t have to do CPR. Still, I was sweating and shaking thinking my delay could have cost a life. I got home and my wife wasn’t talking to me. She ignored me the entire day until we finally sat down and talked.

She said I had scared her with how angry I got, that she thought I was going to hit her, and she didn’t know I was capable of getting so angry. Note: I have never raised a hand to her, nor have I ever yelled at her before; I am absolutely not a violent person in any way shape or form.

I apologized for yelling at her, and acknowledged that I hadn’t meant to snap at her, I was frustrated with the situation as I needed to get to the person in need of CPR as soon as possible and it was a delay that didn’t need to happen.

I, once again, pleaded with her not to touch my boots because lives were literally on the line. She told me that if I was going to overreact and make her afraid then she would never touch my boots again because she didn’t want to live like that. Last night, before I got into bed, I had a sinking feeling. 

I went over and checked my boots, and I was very disappointed to find them tightened up again. So I decided to show her how it felt. I went over to her closet and pulled out her running shoes.

I unlaced the shoelaces on both of them, removed them from the shoes completely, curled them each into a little coil, put them inside the shoes, and put them back. I then went to sleep.

At 6:15 I was woken up by my wife screaming, “How could you!? Why would you do this?” holding up both laceless shoes with tears in her eyes. My wife likes to go for an early morning run and I knew she would want to get out the door as soon as possible.

I smiled and said, “You know how I am! I just like things neat!” She continued sobbing and walked out of the room. So, by the time she was all laced up again, it was raining so she missed out on her run.

I actually feel pretty terrible about that because I really only wanted to delay her, not ruin her plans completely. At this point, she’s alternating between crying that I went out of my way to hurt her and ignoring my presence.

I acknowledge that what I’ve done has been pretty childish and not at all constructive. I just don’t know what to do. She said, through tears, “You admitted you were totally in the wrong for yelling at me, and then you turned around and took it out on me in a different way! What is wrong with you?”

The problem is, to her, an apology means taking on 100% of the fault. When I apologized for blowing up, she took that to mean she was 100% in the right and that my feelings were completely unjustified.

So at this point, I haven’t apologized for ruining her run, because she’ll take that to mean that she wasn’t wrong to touch my boots. I’ve tried to have these discussions but it’s in one ear and out the other.

We have such a good relationship otherwise, but I feel like this issue has reached a tipping point and it’s going to continue to result in arguments until we resolve it.

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Are We Breaking Up Over This?

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I can’t believe I’m about to type this, but here we go. I’ve been dating my girlfriend for seven months. She’s amazing and we’re super compatible in a lot of ways.

She is an outspoken vegan, and she made it clear at the start of our relationship that it was important to her that any potential partner had similar values.

Me, already being a pescatarian, had little difficulty transitioning to a fully plant-based diet. My girlfriend was proud of me for taking my first steps and everything seemed well. We became “the vegan couple” on our college campus. But a horrific problem has come up. 

See, then there is my cat, Mittens…I’ve had her for three years and I adore her. She’s such a sweet and cuddly cat. However, my girlfriend was always a little apprehensive around her, and she blamed it on not growing up around cats.

After a while, we sort of made a tacit agreement to mostly hang out at her apartment instead of mine, so Mittens never really came up again in conversation. Until, well… We began seriously looking at either buying a new apartment together or having one of us move in with the other.

However, after a lot of talking and planning, my girlfriend sat me down and dropped a big reveal on me. She said that with this next phase of the relationship, she did not see a future with me unless I was willing to give away Mittens.

She said that she believed owning a cat is unconscionable for vegans, because they hunt mice and eat meat, and because the very act of owning a pet is against vegan principles. I was stunned.

I told her that I was absolutely not willing to give up Mittens, and Mitten had no choice but to eat meat, so I was reducing harm as much as possible by buying reputable brands of cat food. Plenty of vegans own cats and think along those same lines.

My girlfriend got mad and said, “How much flesh does your cat eat? How many animals perished to make all that food? Would you be okay with that being human flesh?” I got mad and told my girlfriend that I would have really appreciated her telling me about her cat opinions before we got serious.

She went on and on about cats hurting animals. I ended the conversation there. I was so angry that I left my girlfriend’s apartment, and I snuggled with Mittens when I got home! Although the mood soured a bit when my girlfriend sent me a link advocating for the eradication of domestic cats. Sigh.

I think it goes without saying that I am not going to get rid of my cat. However, it pains me to think that an otherwise wonderful relationship could be ending because of a difference in ideology.

I don’t even really understand where my girlfriend is coming from because like I said, a lot of vegans own cats and they make it work.

Now granted, cat ownership can be a controversial topic in vegan circles and I probably would not have gotten a cat if I had been vegan at the time, but I have Mittens now, and she deserves to eat.

Yes, I’ve researched vegan cat food, but Mittens has some digestive issues and my vet strongly cautions against it.

I’ve talked to some of my vegan and vegetarian friends, and they all think my girlfriend has lost her mind. Some have suggested that it’s not about Mittens and my girlfriend just wants an excuse to end it. So, we broke up, obviously. I would never, ever give up my cat Mittens.

Many also said that this situation was about control, not veganism, and looking back, I do see a pattern of control on my girlfriend’s part. I was blind to it, I guess.

I called my girlfriend and said I was not willing to give up Mittens under any circumstances, and given the recent issues we’d had, and our incompatible views, I thought it was best that we parted ways. I said she deserved a partner that shared her values.

She then asked if we were breaking up, I said yes. There was some anger on her end, but otherwise the situation actually went better than I expected.

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No Contact

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My father married my step-sister’s mother when I was four and she was three. We’ve lived together most of our lives and are a family. She and I were extremely close. She developed cancer when she was 14 and was sick for about two years. She’s since made a full recovery.

During that time, my parents became understandably over-protective. They also asked a lot of me. I quit my extracurriculars so I could get a job (the money went towards her medical bills) and so I could drive her to appointments. I didn’t go to dances, and any fun activities I did needed to include her.

I did almost all of this willingly, the exception being having to quit my high school volleyball team—I did throw a bit of a tantrum about that, but was swiftly punished. Personally, I think having one emotional breakdown was pretty chill given the circumstances.

Anyhow, I go to college and meet my ex, we’ll call him Ben, when I’m a junior. We fall in love, blah blah blah. He and I move in together when we graduate, so we’ve been living together for about three years. We were serious until July. That’s when I walked into my bedroom at witnessed a horrific sight.

He was mid-act with my sister. I broke it off, tears were shed, he moved out, etc. My sister apologized at first but then backed off. I thought she was giving me space, but last week she called and asked if we could meet up.

She told me that she and Ben were in love and were just telling me as a courtesy before they started posting photos online. Distraught, I left her in the restaurant by herself and did not pay my portion of the bill. She later venmo’ed me asking for the money.

She told my parents, who then called me to their house, telling me how disappointed in me they are for not supporting my sister’s relationship with Ben. They brought up the fact that because she had cancer as a teenager, she never learned proper social etiquette, and has a hard time meeting people.

I don’t buy this, in part because I’ve seen her socialize just fine and since we spent a good chunk of the time she was sick together, that would also mean that I should have bad social skills as well, by that logic.

They then told me that if I don’t accept my sister and Ben’s relationship, they may have to go no contact with me. I reminded them that I’m also their daughter and they should understand my point of view, but they are adamant that this is about me being jealous of her.

For the record: I’m not jealous of her. I’m not upset that Ben picked her over me. I’m sad about the end of the relationship and do feel betrayed, but Lord knows that I don’t want to be with a cheater. What I’m upset about is the fact that my sister chose Ben over me.

That she slept with Ben knowing he and I were in a long-term, committed relationship, and continues to be with him knowing how much it hurts me. Now no one in my immediate family is talking to me and I’m getting messages from aunts and uncles and cousins telling me that I’m a selfish witch.

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Rethinking the Situation

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My girlfriend is completely crazy but mostly in a good way. Spontaneous is an understatement. Sometimes she goes too far, but I love her for her crazy personality. I am more relaxed and we balance each other out. Two recent incidents really freaked me out though.

I was driving on the highway with a lot of traffic. We were going maybe 40 mph. She suddenly started tickling me and wouldn’t stop when I yelled at her. I jammed on the brakes and someone almost hit us from behind.

I asked her what the heck is wrong with her, but she just laughed about it and told me to chill. I said, “What would make you want to do that?” and she said “I don’t know, just felt like it.” Then last Saturday, I was hiking with her and I was standing near this steep cliff.

I’m usually wary of her because you never know what she’s going to do even though it’s usually just a prank or something. I let my guard down and she went behind me and pushed me towards the cliff and I swear I almost fell off. She did it hard and I ended up right at the edge.

She was laughing so hard. I freaked out and started screaming at her and I may have been out of line but oh my God. She laughed about it at first but then she started crying and saying she was so sorry.

The next day, she started texting me saying that she didn’t mean any harm and she just “didn’t know” that I would get so mad at her for doing that. Am I crazy for even thinking about this? Is it possible she’s just immature and if I get back with her she’ll be different?

I’m kind of lonely and I really love her, but this really made me rethink the situation because now I feel like she’s legit crazy, not just fun crazy.

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Best Surprise Ever

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God this is a doozy. I swear my life feels like a movie right now. I am planning on proposing to my girlfriend of three years. Now, I suck at picking out jewelry.

I’m the type of guy who doesn’t see a problem with heart-shaped jewelry (seriously why is it considered so ugly?), so every time I want to buy something for my girl, I usually consult one of our mutual friends.

My girl’s best friends are all friends with me as well and we all get along well, so asking them for help picking out jewelry is something I’m used to. When it came time to pick out a ring, I consulted my girlfriend’s best friend Justine.

Justine and I are quite close and she knows my girlfriend better than anyone, including me. So, when my girlfriend went out to visit her sister and baby nephew, I invited Justine over to the house to help pick out a ring.

Justine and I looked through a few catalogs but decided it would be better to go to professionals at a jewelry store. However, I didn’t know when my girlfriend would be coming home, so Justine and I thought of a clever text to gauge how much time we had.

I asked her when she’d be coming home, as I was ordering takeout and wanted to know when to tell them to have the food ready by. Her text back chilled me to the bone. She responded by saying it would be a few hours, since she met up with Justine to go shopping.

I showed Justine the text, and she looked as confused as I was. It isn’t out of the ordinary for my girlfriend to meet up with people out of the blue like that for shopping, lunch, etc. She’s a very spontaneous person and loves making plans on the fly.

So ordinarily, I would have believed this text in a heartbeat. However, obviously this had to be a lie. When she came home she acted completely normal, and I played along, but it’s been really hard to act like everything’s fine. We got takeout, ate together, and cuddled on the couch after.

So far, she’s caught on a little that something upset me, but I just can’t tell her what. Looking at her hurts me. I don’t know what to do. My girlfriend and I have zero trust issues and we tell each other everything, so this lie was ruining me. Eventually, I decided to confront her.

I decided to be honest. I basically just said that I knew we’d been thinking about marriage and she probably knew a proposal was coming soon, so I invited Justine over to help me find her the perfect ring, and that so happened to be the day that she said she was going to see her, so…what’s the deal?

She immediately started grinning like an idiot and prodding me about proposing and the ring. Then we got back onto the topic of where she was, and she confessed what she was really doing. No, she wasn’t cheating, and no, she wasn’t picking out a ring for me.

So, some people are dog people and some people are cat people. Well, me, I’m a snake person. I grew up with snakes my whole life. But I never felt I was able to get one because my girlfriend has always been uneasy about living with a snake, which I completely respected.

Also, the process of buying and raising a snake is very different than that of buying and raising a dog or cat. It’s quite complicated. So you could imagine my surprise when my girlfriend showed me a picture of her holding the cutest Kenyan sand boa I have EVER SEEN!

Needless to say, my girlfriend was going to surprise me with a snake! We’re picking her up next week.

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Missing in Action

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I found out he was cheating because he didn’t come home after a night out with the boys. I woke up at 4 am and panicked, thinking something horrible happened. I tried to call him but his phone went straight to voicemail, and his friends told me he had left hours ago. I called all across town, thinking the worst.

I even called his parents. They lived in North Carolina and I woke them up to say their son was missing. I decided to drive around to where the boy’s night had been. One of my friends worked at one of the locations they went to and her car was still outside.

My gut told me to drive by her house and I was horrified at what I saw—there his car was, still in her driveway. I furiously banged on the door and he answered. I went home and called his parents back to let them know he wasn’t hurt just cheating on me. We had been together for five years and I felt blindsided.

The “friend” he was with had been telling me about this new guy who was texting her and sending her flowers. I had no idea it was my boyfriend the whole time. I cut them both off and never looked back.

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He Turned Into a Robot

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My husband and I have been married for six years. We have two kids and I’m pregnant with a third. My husband works from 9-5, comes home, does his chores, plays with our two kids, talks to me for a little bit, and then goes to sleep. But he doesn’t seem to enjoy doing any of it.

Like this whole thing is one big chore. It’s like he’s turned into a robot. He used to be this goofy guy who smiled and told jokes all the time, but I haven’t seen the man smile in months. It’s not like he’s neglecting his duties as a husband and father, but he acts like it’s just that, duties.

Like hanging with the kids and me is a second job. I’m grateful for all he’s doing, and he makes all of our lives sooo much easier, but it’s like he’s constantly on the clock and I think he might be depressed. I tried asking him if he was doing ok and he tells me he’s doing “fantastic,” but I know he’s not.

That’s the line he uses at work when customers try to make small talk and ask how he’s doing. He doesn’t take any time for himself. He doesn’t take any breaks; he stopped playing games and stopped watching TV. He just does what I feel he thinks needs to be done and I don’t know how to help him out.

Our bedroom life has become one sided. We do it frequently, but only because I initiate frequently. Even if he doesn’t seem in the mood, he’ll do it. Like it’s his responsibility to “make me happy.”

It feels like he isn’t there in the moment, like his mind is wandering the whole time we’re intimate and that, to me, feels worse than getting rejected. I don’t know what’s going on, and I don’t know how to help because he won’t let me in.

To anybody else he seems fine, but I know something is wrong and I don’t know how to fix this. I miss my husband, the guy who complained and told jokes. Not this robotic shell that looks like him. It’s clear to me now that my husband is overworked and “burnt out.”

So tonight, my husband came home at around 6 o’clock, and after he had something to eat I took him to the bedroom to talk. It was a revelation. I sat him down on the bed and told him I was worried about him. When I finished my piece he starting crying, like full-on crying.

In all the years that I have known this man, I had never seen a tear roll down his eye. I held him for a few minutes until he could recompose himself, and he told me everything. He told me that the world was in a bad place right now, and that we’re bringing a child into a stressful time.

He said when I became pregnant, he felt he had to step up. He needed to take care of things because it was his responsibility. He said that the weight of carrying the family was so much harder than he anticipated so he thought if he “doubled down” he could get through it.

But the more he tried, the “darker the tunnel got” and eventually he couldn’t see an end. He said that he feels like he’s “constantly drowning, and the only breath of fresh air is on the car ride between home and work.” But that wasn’t all.

He said that sometimes the stress is so much that he throws up, but doesn’t tell anyone and instead keeps going with his day. He then pulled out a pack of gum from his pocket and said, “this was for when it happens.”

I asked him why he couldn’t tell me any of this, and he said he didn’t want to “burden me with the truth.” He said that he thought if he told me everything, that I would stop seeing him as a “protector and provider,” and that I would inevitably stop loving him. Hearing him say that brought tears to my eyes. 

I didn’t know where he got the notion I would feel that way. I asked him if he wanted to quit his job, but surprisingly he said the job doesn’t bother him. He said the work in and of itself was fine. It’s just now he feels an added weight to provide.

He said that some days he feels like packing a suitcase and running to some tropical island for a week and not telling anyone. But then he feels guilty and doubles down even more. I told him that maybe he should go on a trip. I said that he deserved a break, and maybe if he did exactly that, he’d feel better.

He tried to protest, but I insisted. In the end, he said that he’ll only go if we go together. Like a romantic getaway between spouses. Before the baby is due, he wants to take a week off from work, drop the kids off at Grandma’s house, and have us go on a vacation.

Just the two of us, like we used to when we first got married. He also said he wants to take the day off tomorrow and just sleep in, so that’s the plan. I’ll call his boss tomorrow and say that he’s sick and can’t come in. Right now, he’s playing with the kids and it doesn’t feel like he’s doing one of his chores.

He actually seems to be enjoying himself. For the first time in months I don’t see the robot, I see my husband.

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I'm Glad It Wasn't a Stranger

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This started a few weeks ago. While cleaning the bathroom, I found a number of long hair strands over my bathroom wall by the shower. This is odd for two crucial reasons. Not only does my husband not have hair (he’s bald), I also wear a very cropped, short hairstyle.

So it’s impossible for the strands I found to belong to either me or my husband. Confused, I washed them away but couldn’t stop thinking about it. I decided not to mention it but kept looking out for them.

There seems to be a pattern that there are hairs appearing when I’m either at work or out for a longer time period. I feel like I’m going crazy and feel like I shouldn’t just immediately go to the idea that my husband is cheating on me with a longer-haired woman.

I asked my husband about it and he just shrugged, which makes me more paranoid as surely this is something that’s strange, so why is he so blasé about it? I’m starting to think he’s playing it down to stop me from finding out the truth. It happened again two days ago and I asked my husband again.

He dismissed it, but this time admitted it’s strange but told me the only explanation is that they must be my hairs. They are not and after saying so, now he’ll just ignore me if I bring it up.

I don’t want to assume my husband is cheating on me and accuse him of such over something so ridiculous, but I’m driving myself into the ground trying to work out how the hairs have got there without my husband dismissing it as nothing. But then I just figured it out.

I ultimately decided against getting a secret camera set up because ironically enough, I didn’t want to betray my partner’s trust, but I did plan to leave work early, which is something I’ve never done before. My boss allowed me to leave after a half-day. Upon returning home, nothing seemed amiss.

I was expecting another car on the drive or parked outside on the street. There was no other car I didn’t recognise. Quietly letting myself in, I was immediately confused. In the hallway, there was a pair of shoes I didn’t recognise, and not only that, they looked like men’s shoes.

I was standing in the hallway trying to work out what to do; I didn’t know if I should sneak around or make my presence known. Before I could decide, my husband walked out of the kitchen with two cups of tea. By my husband’s face, it was obvious he was surprised to see me.

Playing along with naïveté, I asked my husband how he could have known I was coming home early to make me tea? Expecting my husband to lie, he surprised me by sitting me down and explaining everything.

Recently, his friend—someone I’m not all that close with because we only met once—was evicted, lost his job, and had been couch surfing.

So for some days over the past couple of weeks, this guy has been traveling to our house, and with the acceptance of my husband, using our bathroom to freshen up to attend interviews.

He was also borrowing shirts and suits from my husband. As it turns out, my husband’s friend has long hair and a beard. So it turns out my husband isn’t cheating on me but was hiding the fact his long-haired friend was coming over to use our shower.

After his shower, I ended up meeting “Dave,” and he turned out to be a very nice guy just down on his luck. I wished him the best and he went on his way. I asked my husband why he didn’t just tell me, as I wouldn’t have had a problem with it.

He was worried about my reaction and me not liking his friend or approving of the situation. He also told me Dave was very embarrassed about the whole situation and didn’t want people to know what he was having to do.

I told my husband I was starting to believe he was cheating and he was shocked, having not even considered those implications while attempting to cover for his friend. I told him this whole thing was ridiculous and even suggested his friend live with us until he’s back on his feet.

Funnily enough, my worst-case scenario was either a homeless man or woman living in my walls and sneakily using the shower. And though this seems to be half the case, I’m glad it wasn’t a stranger.

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I Knew She Was Lying

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I came home from work and she was upstairs. I yelled for her and she said she was on the phone talking to her mom, and then she closed the bathroom door so I couldn’t hear her anymore. At the time, it was as if someone invisible was standing behind me, whispering “she’s lying.”

It was 2002 and we had a landline with cordless phones and a base station. I walked into the room with the base station, then hit mute and turned on the speaker. At that moment, my worst fears were confirmed. 

I heard her talking to a guy and I could tell from the conversation that they had been intimate for a while. They were talking about when I would be working next.

I didn’t say anything; I just talked to a lawyer and filed for divorce. When I told her I knew and had already sought a lawyer, she started dating the other guy.

rshacklef0rd

Shocking Diagnosis

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Once while I was working in the maternity ward, the doctor gave this newborn baby a shocking diagnosis—she had chlamydia. She got it from the mom, obviously. So, the mom had no choice but to admit she was cheating on the dad because there’s no other way to explain that one.

Except…the dad was cheating too, with the other guy’s girlfriend, and all four of them had chlamydia. None of them had any idea who had it first. They also had no idea who the actual dad was. That was a rodeo.

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And She Had Proof

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My brother told me this story about a man he used to work with. My brother’s work friend is from an eastern European country and he came to the US many, many moons ago to start his family.

One of his sons met a nice girl and they planned to get married, but life happened and the girl got pregnant before they could plan something big together. Regardless, the whole family was excited about the new baby.

The father-to-be was absolutely ecstatic and they had a small ceremony just before the baby was born. When the delivery time came, out popped this little boy who was about 50 shades darker than either parent, and the new dad absolutely lost his mind. 

In his heartbroken rage, he accused his new bride of cheating on him, disowned the child, and raged right out of the delivery room, leaving the new mom all alone with her mountain of shame. This guy returned to his family and continued his hate-filled rampage.

He exclaimed to his family that his new wife had cheated on him because the baby looked nothing like him. The family was shocked, as they never would have believed this sweet young thing would do that to their son. It was absolute shame and misery all around.

Well, sitting in a dark little corner of the room, little tiny grandma chirped up and had a story to tell. Apparently, back in her glory days, during some conflict or another, she had a great summer fling with a French soldier. A Black French soldier.

She got knocked up and due to the times, she had to keep the baby, hoping her family didn’t throttle her before she could abandon it somewhere. She ended up meeting her husband shortly after getting knocked up, and things just progressed as if it was his child.

And wouldn’t you know, the little thing popped out white as snow. She breathed a sigh of relief because that was going to be the easiest lie for her to keep, ever.

So this poor guy had been carrying around this super melanin gene his whole life, knocked up his wife, and it decided to all come out on his sweet little boy. Thankfully, the whole family went with him to the hospital. The grandma had a picture of her old fella as proof, and the husband and wife were reunited.

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You're Not the Father

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My ex-girlfriend delivered a baby while I was in the delivery room and turns out it wasn’t mine. She was 16, while I was 15. All along, I was under the impression that the kid was mine and it was time for me to be an adult.

I took all the classes, read the books, and worked every night and weekend to save whatever money I could as a 15-year-old. When I finally got the call that she was in labor, I had somebody rush me to the ER. Luckily for her, it didn’t last long—only about six hours—but there was a complication.

The baby came out with the umbilical cord wrapped around its neck. The doctor assured us it was going to be OK, but the nurses were prepping for things to go south. When the baby came out, it was a light shade of purple.

The nurses immediately took the baby and put on the smallest mask they had on it; to help it get the oxygen I guess. I was too panicked to ask a lot of questions. They told us they needed to keep the baby on watch overnight, so I stayed in the room with my ex.

The next evening, the baby was back in the room with us and all seemed well. The ex was asleep, and the same nurse from the night before came into the room and beckoned me out. She told me that at risk of her losing her job, she had to break some harsh news to me. 

She said that kid was not mine and that, while at this stage it wasn’t obvious, over the next few weeks it would become clear that the kid was mixed. Since both of us were white, there was a high probability that it wasn’t mine.

Cue a mixed bag of emotions, and me promptly waking my ex to get a little clarification. I came to find out that she knew the chances and was just hoping it was mine because it worked better for her. Apparently, her father was old school and conservative, and she didn’t want to have to deal with that.

I left the hospital to collect my thoughts, and a few weeks later, I was served with child support papers. One DNA test and about six weeks later, I was determined to be 0.0% that kid’s father.

Wherever that nurse is now, I hope her life is amazing. I understand that she was not supposed to get involved in the personal side of things, but she saved me a lot of additional headaches.

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Secret Stalkings

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My wife told me a guy from her work was stalking her, so I told him I knew what he was doing and that he needed to stay away from her or else. But here’s the crazy part—he had no idea my wife had accused him of stalking her. He assumed I was talking about the affair they were having.

It freaked him out and he immediately went home to his wife and confessed. My wife was just trying to get me to get rid of him for her and hadn’t told her jilted lover the alibi she was using. It had been happening for a while behind both of our marriages.

After he confessed to his wife, she called me in tears and asked how I know about the situation. It was a confusing conversation until I realized the truth of the situation.

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A Long Drive Home

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Monday, my boyfriend and I decided to make the 8ish hour drive back to our home state to live for a few months. Right before leaving, we got into a big fight because I wanted to stay at my mother’s house for a while. However, he doesn’t want me to, among other things I won’t get into.

Well, before leaving we decided to eat dinner so we didn’t have to stop anywhere. Fast forward to our drive, and not long after hitting the road, it all went so wrong. I passed out. I don’t even really remember falling asleep.

I woke up one time for a while, drank some Gatorade that he gave me, and then I fell asleep again. I thought this was extremely weird because I wasn’t tired hardly at all and we didn’t even leave super early. I kept commenting on how weird it was that I was tired the whole drive and slept 90% of it.

Yesterday, the tension eased a bit, and he made a disturbing confession. He made the offhanded comment that he wishes he could drug me more when I “act out” and argue with him. I ask him what he’s talking about. He proceeds to tell me he put Benadryl in my drink.

That’s why I slept, so he didn’t have to deal with me. He literally said this as though it wasn’t that big of a deal! I’m still reeling from the conversation and completely floored.

I don’t know if I’m overreacting or not but something tells me I’m not, and it’s extremely messed up to put medicine in drinks. I don’t even know what to do.

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Karma is Coming For Them

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My ex-wife started sleeping with my best friend of 14 years as soon as we separated, but I’m pretty sure that their affair started before that, when we were still married. Yep, not only did my ex crush my soul, she also took my best friend.

Oh, and he was also married throughout the whole time. I hear they have a baby now…and he is still married to his wife. Whatever. I hope karma comes for them soon.

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Miracle Baby

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So my wife and I have been together for eight years. We have a little girl who is five now and a baby boy who is two years old. I love both of them more than anything and I finally feel like I have everything. A beautiful wife, two healthy kids, a great career, and a big house.

The token “American Dream,” minus the dog, since I’m allergic. When we talked about kids before, my wife always said she wanted two. I only wanted one, since it would be easier and we’d have more money for vacations and stuff, but my wife maintained it’s important for a child to have a sibling.

I grew up with four and my wife with none, so I guess I understand where she’s coming from. After our son and getting through the baby years and sleepless nights for the second time, I didn’t want to ever go through that again. Both kids were very fussy and colicky.

But when he was a year old, my wife began casually mentioning that she wanted a third. I would laugh it off, but finally, she sat me down and gave me a chilling ultimatum. She said we have to have a third. I said no, we agreed on two, but she said she wanted four, so three was actually the compromise.

I refused and said I wanted one, and we have two. She then got angry and called me selfish for taking away her dream of wanting a big family. A couple days later, she apologized and we were intimate.

In fact, over the past little while, I noticed her drive increased exponentially, but so did mine and I was happy to engage with her. After all, she was on birth control, I had a rubber, and it was all good. Thinking back on it, I probably should have figured something was up. 

Still, I was barely handling two little kids and work on top of housework and yard work and everything. I came home from work one day while the kids were at their grandparents. My wife had a huge smile on her face and she sat me down and showed me a positive pregnancy test, literally dancing in joy.

My first thought was, “oh God.” My wife noticed a less-than-happy expression on my face and started screaming at me. She berated me for not being supportive and this was a “miracle from God” and I should be grateful. I said I was sorry and hugged her and said I was super excited for the baby.

My wife was delighted, and later that night she was calling all family and friends to happily tell them the news. When she was talking about the nursery and how we’ll convert my office into a room, I started to get a little suspicious. 

Everything was so well thought-out and it seemed like she’d been planning this for a while. When she was asleep, I took the condoms out of the cupboard and ran them underwater. Holes. I nabbed her phone and saw she’d set a password. That was odd.

Nevertheless, my wife has a terrible memory, so I tried her birthday and it opened. I saw texts that made me go white as a sheet. They were of her best friend of my wife complaining how I wouldn’t come around to a baby. Her best friend suggested to “arrange an accident” with a winky face.

My wife agreed and said she was going to come off of birth control. It went on for a little while, ending with my wife saying that yes, we were going to have a third. So I woke her up immediately and asked her if this had really been a “miracle”? She got that deer-in-headlights look and burst into tears.

She wailed and then she got angry. Through tears, she screamed how I had no right to go through her phone and it’s her choice whether or not she wants to take birth control; the side-effects are bad and she was sick. She also brought up that if I really didn’t want a third kid, I should have had a vasectomy.

She told me to go sleep on the couch. I laughed out loud and said no, I’m sleeping here, you’re leaving. So while wailing, she packed a bag and left to her parents. When she called the next day, I told her I just need some time to myself. She said that’s fine, but I need to come around for our child.

I told her I wasn’t sure if it’d be “our child” and she cried more. It’s been two weeks since then. We’re back in the same house, and she constantly keeps on stopping me and trying to get me excited for our kid and planning the nursery and names and how happy our kids will be to get a younger sibling.

I’ve been ignoring her entirely. I don’t know if I should leave her over this. I don’t trust her anymore. She entirely betrayed me. I’m angry. But I have another child on the way.

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What are you Hiding?

My boyfriend forced me to take showers because “Your body smells terrible.” I showered every day, applied regular deodorant in the morning, it was honestly making me go insane. One day his parents came over for dinner and while him and his dad were having a chat I approached his mother. “I know I don’t smell, but what is up with your son?” Her face goes PALE. She turns towards her husband, “We need to leave.” I grabbed her hand, “WHAT ARE YOU HIDING?!” That’s when I noticed a horrifying detail on her blouse. She had smeared wine all over herself as an excuse to leave. I later confronted my boyfriend and begged him to explain what was going on. He admitted that his father had told him to berate me so I would constantly ask for his approval and ‘be his forever’. I immediately ended the relationship and moved out the same day.

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A dare Of A Lifetime

My husband suddenly started going hunting every week with his friend, and I knew something was wrong. So, I decided to follow him. While following him, I arrived at a motel and saw the car of his best friend's wife parked there. Suddenly, I felt a tap on my back. It was his best friend's wife, crying. I noticed something on her skirt, and my blood froze. She grabbed my hand and said, "I want to show you something." When she opened the door, the ground slipped from under my feet, and I blacked out. Later, when I woke up in the hospital, I only remembered that my husband was lying unconscious on the ground with a strange bottle in his hand. Later, I found out it was some type of slow poison, and my husband was completing a dare that his friend had given him.

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I Have A Toothbrush Trauma

My date forced me to brush my teeth. We had just met and one night he called me over to his place. Usually, I always bring my toothbrush with me, but I forgot it. I get there, we do the deed and it’s bedtime. He turns towards me, hands me a toothbrush and says “Last one to brush their teeth and get in bed is a loser.” I immediately ran to the bathroom, brushed my teeth as quickly as I could and jumped into bed. He was close behind. Suddenly, I started feeling dizzy, my gums started burning up and I passed out. Woke up, everything was fine so I went home. I walk in, my mother started crying, “What did you do to him?!” I was confused. “Do what to who?!” That’s when my date stepped in, crying, shirt over his head and showed me his phone. My blood froze. He had actually tried to drug me but in the process, he laced his own toothbrush too. So, to try and fix the situation, he ran into a wall, made his head bleed and tried to set me up in front of my family that I did something to him. After quickly explaining the situation to my parents, he was sent straight to jail.

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Bizarre Habit's Lifesaving Twist

My girlfriend's strange habit of licking the door handle saved my life. She always licked the door handle whenever she entered the house, and although it annoyed me, she promised to explain it someday. One night, I woke up to a loud noise, thinking someone had broken into my house. I checked the front door, which was locked, but when I touched the doorknob, I felt saliva. Assuming that my girlfriend had left, I returned to bed, feeling a sense of unease. The next morning, I discovered the shocking truth when I saw the news headlines - a dangerous toxin had been spread on doorknobs in our neighborhood. The saliva on the doorknob acted as a protective barrier, preventing the toxin from entering my system. I couldn't believe it, but my girlfriend's peculiar habit had unknowingly saved both our lives. From that day forward, I vowed to never question her strange actions again, knowing that sometimes the most unexpected habits can hold extraordinary secrets.

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My Mom Is A Psycho

My mom kissed me on my lips. Even when I said it felt icky. She would insist on washing my private parts till I turned 17. I threw tantrums, but they never worked. It got worse with time. She wanted to sleep next to me one night. I refused. The next morning, I woke up earlier than usual and was horrified. I phoned my aunt, the only relative I could trust. She requested if she can examine me, "Oh my God" she SCREAMED, did you tell your father??? She told me how my mother tried to rape me. I was shocked. I started living with my aunt after this.

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Boxers Obsession

My wife forced me to change my boxers before bed because "You smell terrible". I changed them every day but still, she wasn't satisfied, it was honestly driving me crazy. One day, I bumped into her ex, and suddenly this thing popped up in my mind and I asked him "What's the deal with boxers?" His face went PALE asking "Does she still force you to change 3 boxers every night?" I told him that she only forced me to change one boxer in a night. He started laughing and said, "You still didn't get it?"He thought she loved him more than me but the real reason was that he smells much more terrible.

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