People Share Ludicrous 'Playing The Victim' And 'Passive-Aggressive' Stories

People Share Ludicrous 'Playing The Victim' And 'Passive-Aggressive' Stories

When you're backed into a corner and clearly wrong, the moral thing to do is admit you messed up and ask how you can make it right. Of course, if you're some kind of psycho, you don't want to do the right thing. In that case, your best bet is to throw up your hands, fake a couple tears, and make yourself the victim. Some people are really good at it and other's are great at combating false victimhood with passive-agression.

Just ask the folks below who recently went online to share stories of guilty people who played the victim rather than owning up to their mistakes and the best tales of passive-aggressive behaviour.

woman in brown shirt covering her face Fa Barboza

1. Investors beware

Local business owner/friend asked a lot of his regular customers to invest in his new business in Atlanta, by buying shares. I bought in, knowing we wouldn't break even for at least three years, but that he could sell religion to the Pope.

Had losses for two years, break even at three as predicted. Four years in, he closes the Atlanta store and opens in another town, but this time he's doing it all with "his own money". BS, he's doing it with the inventory and proceeds from the Atlanta store. Even has a shiny new house, cars, the works for his new venture.

He's shocked to the core, and hurt, I tell you, hurt and disappointed! when all the share holders took him to court.

Our lawsuit basically never got off the taxiway; it soon looked like the cost of going through the courts would quickly outpace our losses. People started dropping off and it fell apart.

The original store and the Atlanta store were closed. Those bridges he well and truly burned. The final store has changed names but appears to be going strong. No way in the world will I name the business -- I don't doubt for a second that while we smaller potato investors weren't ready for a long court fight, the owner would have no qualms about bringing a defamation suit against me in a heartbeat. Sometimes, karma is just asleep at the wheel and you have to accept it!


man in black suit jacket and black pants figurine Gilly

2. Signs your mother is a narcissist

My biological mother taking up the time in my therapy sessions to tell my psychologist all about how my depression was hard on her.

"I am so scared, really, so scared, and I never hit her, never, unless I can't stop her crying otherwise, so this is all very hard on me, you see, my side of the story is absolutely horrible!

woman in teal t-shirt sitting beside woman in suit jacket Amy Hirschi

3. Bad parents drive out good teachers

When I was teaching, I had a student I adored who had some behavior problems. I did everything I could to support him.

One day, we were taking a test and he was talking. I reminded him several times that talking during a test is not allowed, and I would have him go in the hallway if he continued. He continued talking, so I told him to go into the hall. He called me autistic on his way out (his favorite insult) and so I wrote him a referral.

I thought his parents would be cooperative. Big mistake on my part.

I called his parents and they didn't answer, so I sent an e-mail explaining what happened, that he got a referral, and that I hope we can work together to help him manage his reactions. His mother responded saying that my behavior is UNACCEPTABLE and that she is done speaking with me and I will hear from her lawyer.

She went all the way up to the district level to complain about me, telling all sorts of lies and making me look like a horrible person.

I don't teach anymore.

man and woman sitting on chairs NeONBRAND

4. You'll get paid on the 32nd of Octember

I quit my job and set up my own competing business with my ex-employer after he failed to pay me for 2 months claiming non payment from the clients.

He had a massive go at me after I confronted him with receipts from the clients to show payment and he accused me of making him look bad in front of his clients and that he didn't owe me the money because "some people are bosses and some people are employees."

Don't worry. I got him back.

Hence why I quit the job and set up for myself because last time I checked, slavery is illegal in the UK. I also warned a few of my ex-coworkers to be careful and not let him rack up debt with them because of what he did to me (they are nice people with young families and don't deserve to be taken advantage of, like he did to me).

I take him to court to try to recoup the money he owed me for the work I completed and the judge ruled in my favour for the full amount of just over £4,000. He then plays the victim card with everyone he knows and says that I made him and his family homeless despite the fact that he never paid me a penny of the money owed. £4,000 is like 5-6 months rent in a decent neighborhood in my city. Honestly blows my mind every time I think about it.


person in orange long sleeve shirt writing on white paper Romain Dancre


5. I love when they take it to the internet

Facebook drama from a few years ago. This girl was leaving a bar after partying way too hard, and she backed her car into the car of someone she was an acquaintance with while exiting the parking lot. Then the next day she went off on him for telling the police he saw her do it, when he knew she was poor and could have just said he didn't see it and had his insurance pay.

She kept digging a deeper hole and all the replies were like “hey, don't drive after drinking.” Sometimes the internet is glorious.

vintage brown car on green grass field during daytime Michal Matlon

6. A gut-wrencher

My sister used to hurt herself just to get me in trouble. She would hit herself until her arm was red and bruised. Then she would run to our parents and cry. I used to get in trouble for it, and no amount of protest would help.

I got fed up with it one day and punched her right in the stomach, right in front of my parents. Their mouths dropped open. I just said, "I have never hit her when she runs and cries to you guys, but you believe her anyway. If I'm going to get in trouble for this, I may as well actually commit the crime."

I got in trouble for punching her in the stomach, but she never pulled that stunt anymore, so I consider it a victory.

woman in yellow dress shirt BIPIN SAXENA

7. Size matters

I lost a lot of weight (150lbs), my overweight friend didn’t. I don’t care, she’s my friend, I love her. I tried on a pair of size 12 (size 8 US) jeans but they were too big so asked for the smaller size. Before I could try them on my friend stormed out of the shop and when I followed her she screamed at me for rubbing my weight loss in her face. I lost the weight in 2015, I’ve been this size for 4 years.

grayscale photo of woman holding her breast Fuu J

8. Apparently I'm supposed to be obsessed with lies instead

My crazy college girlfriend cheated on me and then blamed me for causing problems in our relationship by being "obsessed with the truth" as I figured out what had happened.

woman on bike reaching for man's hand behind her also on bike Everton Vila

9. Depression and laziness are not the same thing

My best friend’s ex-girlfriend. Basically her ex was kicked out of her parents house when she told them she was a lesbian. She moved in with my best friend since they were dating at the time.

At first she told my girlfriend that she was too depressed to find a job. My best friend was okay with that even if it meant she'd have to work more, which she did. She even found a second part-time job.

For the next six months, whenever my best friend ask her if she’d found a job she'd always get the "I'm too depressed" response. Eventually my best friend finds out her girlfriend cheated on her.

Her excuse for cheating was "you're always at work and never have time for me. I need someone who will be there for me." My best friend kicks her out and then her ex blames her for having to move back in with her parents.

The kicker: turns out her parents never really kicked her out, she was just tired of them telling her to get a job.

woman in green jacket Katie Drazdauskaite

10. This makes my blood boil

My sister’s friend was attacked by her boyfriend and stayed the night downstairs at our house with her 3 kids. Next day he comes around, starts cursing her out saying she stole his kids. Grabs the baby and starts walking away with him. She chases him trying to get the baby back and he strikes her several times in the face. My brother intervenes and separated them.

Then this idiot leaves and brings back the cops to arrest my brother for assault!

After the cops arrested my brother, the friend’s mother came to our house and made a huge fuss about how her daughter should go home and called her  all kinds of names. Her sister ultimately took her in and my brother was released. But that still makes me so angry.

person showing handcuff niu niu


11. Can I get a witness?

I was in a crowded parking lot, driving around looking for a space. There was one car ahead of me. The car ahead of me stopped, so I stopped as well. (I'm not sure why she stopped because there were no empty spaces and no one was pulling out, but whatever.)

Then, before I even had time to react, her reverse lights came on and she came flying backwards towards me. I didn't even have time to honk. She slammed into the front of my car, got out of her car, and started screaming that I hit her.

When officers arrived, she was crying and shaking and complaining that her neck hurt. And cursing me for slamming into the back of her car.

Thankfully, two people had been walking through the parking lot when this occurred and told the officer what really happened. Later, the driver of the car that hit me tried to tell her insurance company that I knew the witnesses and that's why they lied. I didn't know the witnesses by the way.

At any rate, if the witnesses hadn't stuck around to give statements, I'd have been screwed.

blue and white vintage car on gray asphalt road during daytime Magda V

12. Listeners never hear any good of themselves

This guy got upset saying we were always talking about him behind his back. He would creep up to the door in our apartment and stand there listening to our conversations. Of course we would talk about him! He owed two of us over $600 and refused to pay it. And then WE were the bad people because we would talk about it, in our own apartment, not knowing he was creeping around the door.


men's purple top joesef key

13. This is why caller ID was invented

My ex-wife loves to play the victim rather than owning up to her own mistakes.

She had an affair, left me and our kid for the guy, got a DWI and the car I cosigned for was repossessed.

Every time I hear from her I get to listen to her complain about how she has to walk to work and how she has to borrow lunch money because child support took $129 out of her check and our son never calls her and she hasn't seen him in over a year.

Lady. Shut. The. Frig. Up.

brown rotary dial telephone in gray painted room Annie Spratt

14. How do you screw up a car wash?!

A woman rear-ended my car in the car wash of all places. She failed to put her car in neutral and rolled right into me. She then proceed to yell at me and insist that it was my fault for “not going fast enough”. After we finally convinced her that the track always goes the same speed, she decided to blame the CAR WASH EMPLOYEE for making the track too slow.

water fountain in the middle of the road Zulfahmi Khani

15. Lady, it's MY wedding!

My mom ruined my courthouse wedding, called me selfish and made fun of my shoes on my wedding day, and made me swear to her that I wouldn't tell our family I was getting married until we had a big ceremony. Then proceeded to go behind my back and tell people anyway. She is now genuinely surprised that I am upset and going around crying to all my aunts and uncles about how her only daughter will not speak to her.

two people standing on brown wooden floor Marc A. Sporys

16. It's clearly your fault I cheated on you

Guy breaking up with me to be with another girl then expecting me to sympathize with his hurt You spat me out like gum, I'm calling you out, don't claim you don't deserve it. I don't talk to him anymore.

I should mention, he tried to get my current boyfriend to break up with me by saying I was an "emotional water balloon" as well as pointing out my weight. The girl he left me for is around the same weight I am so I’m really not sure what he’s talking about.

person holding balloons Gaelle Marcel


17. It's your fault I read your diary

I was assaulted by one of my religious leaders at about 20 (I’m male). To help me cope with it I started seeing a therapist and made a dedicated journal to all these dark thoughts. That way, instead of trying to tell myself “I’m okay, life’s okay, it didn’t happen, I’m fine,” I could write all the deepest darkest stuff my brain was thinking.

I did not tell my wife about my event but she has a tendency of being snoopy (constantly woke up to her about 2-3am going through my phone) so I tell her about the journal. That this is one thing under no circumstances she can read, that it is extremely personal and if she wishes to read it at some point, she needs to talk to me about it and I will decide if I feel it is necessary or beneficial.

Of course, one day she comes out and says she read it.

And she’s MAD AT ME, that I didn’t tell her sooner. That as my wife, I should be comfortable telling her anything and everything. As the following weeks go by I’m very angry with her and she remains adamant that it was my fault because I didn’t tell her sooner and that I should change my stance on things I tell her.

A few months go by and I’m still upset, our relationship is still rocky and she says, “Oh wow that? I thought you were over that by now.” I rely that I’m still upset you betrayed my trust, to which she responds, “Oh... I thought you were over the journal thing a while ago. I thought you’d be over your a attack by now with the therapy you’ve been doing...” 

Needless to say, she’s now my ex wife.

unknown person writing Marcos Paulo Prado

18. You don't make the rules in my house!

A former friend and housemate -- who I stupidly let live at my place rent free and who I gave some pretty significant help towards lawyer fees -- lost her mind when I started voicing my concerns over her new boyfriend. She was still technically married to another man, and the new boyfriend was into all sorts of cultish, New Age, Spirit Science craziness.

Oh, and they would do things like make these lavish meals in the kitchen and not clean up, or block my car in the driveway. Then she went on a rant in which she compared me to her nasty soon-to-be-ex-husband -- because I hadn't put away a container of cinnamon immediately after using it.

When I served an eviction notice to the b-bomb, she gave an Academy Award-level performance for melodrama of her own making.

person crying beside bed Claudia Wolff

19. Nobody hates me like I hate me

This girl who was in my school made a bunch of fake online hate accounts to say nasty things about herself. Then she would get super angry if anyone insinuated it was her doing. She'd say stuff like “maybe this person is right” when one caption was 'the world would be a better place without this girl in it.’ That’s some serious desperation for attention.

sun rays of woman's face freestocks

20. You know what this date needs? More people

Recently I went out on a date with a guy. During the date he proceeded to hit on someone and get their number in front of me.

Apparently it was my fault he did this and I was “over-reacting” because I'm bisexual so clearly that meant I'd be interested in her too.

I was just like… ?

couple dining out Wiktor Karkocha

21. When you're clearly wrong -- sue!

I once witnessed a car accident where a lady blew a red light and another car (whose light had clearly turned green) didn't see her and hit her broadside. (The innocent driver had her view obscured by my vehicle also entering the intersection--I was able to stop, but she couldn't).

After the impact, witnesses stopped to help, and the lady who ran the red light tried to argue she was going through on a yellow and that her neck hurt. Apparently she had the nerve to attempt a lawsuit over it, because I was later interviewed (deposed?) over the phone by crazy lady's lawyer who tried to trip me up by saying another witness claimed to be the same place I was.

Too bad, man. I was right there, and there's no way in heck you can paint me as an unreliable witness for your client to steal money from an innocent for her own stupid mistake.

black Ford car Michael Jin

22. I forgive you, father

During a Sunday liturgy, I gave the priest the proper intonation for the Gloria in Excelsis, but he started chanting the "Sanctus" instead (which comes much later in the Mass).

No one knew how (or if) to respond, so the place fell silent.

Afterward, the priest blamed me (the organist) for giving him "the wrong intonation" instead of simply admitting that he wasn't infallible and had made a simple mistake.

man in black dress Nikola Knezevic


23. You should be loyal to the people who abandon you?

My mother.

She pulled the old "going to the store" routine when I was a kid. She called 3 days later from halfway across the country complaining because dad had shut off the credit cards. To this day she tries to make my father the bad guy for her failed attempt at abandoning her family. They divorced shortly after, and I stayed with dad. I've always been second rate to her for being (in her words) "disloyal".


photo-1623295291838-5c8fb02c1b2b?ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1wYWdlfHx8fGVufDB8fHx8&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&auto=format&fit=crop&w=1000&q=80 Guzmán Barquín

24. If no one gets you at this point, perhaps they never will

My brother, our whole life, has blamed our middle class upbringing for him taking zero responsibility. He’s basically a 40 year old version of “no one gets me”. He spends his money recklessly, has turned down opportunities to advance himself in lieu of making YouTube videos in his shed ranting about how “richies” keep him down. It’s pathetic.

focus photography of brown wooden shed Sebastian Huxley

25. Can you fire a maid of honor?

My cousin basically screwed up her own wedding by doing things like 'firing' her maid of honour at the last minute because the maid of honour took her husband to the hospital rather than coming to the hair appointments, getting angry with our grandmother for 'not being helpful enough' (she's almost 80 and isn't the most mobile; what did my cousin expect) and forgetting to make sure her brother wasn't still running errands for her when the ceremony started, which led to him missing the ceremony.

And then she whined for the entire reception and a significant period after about how her wedding didn't go the way she wanted.

grayscale picture of bride holding flower bouquet Ishan @seefromthesky

26. Give me money to avoid my responsibilities

A girl I know who's a complete drama queen got extremely hammered a few weeks back and got into her car to go to her ex-boyfriend's to start a fight with him. She put the car in drive and passed out. It rolled forward and hit a vehicle that was parked in front of her.

When the police showed up they found her passed out behind the wheel, with her car in drive smashed into another car, and charged her with driving under the influence amongst many other things.

Of course, she immediately became the victim.

She wants to fight it because she "technically wasn't driving at the time" and because the police were "bullies" for arresting her.

She's going to start a gofundme because she needs money for a lawyer to "go after the police" and "teach them a lesson."

All she does is complain about how they were being unfair and should've let her go.


woman leaning on bed M.

27. It's hard to give up on your mom, but at some point...

My 50-something-year-old mom's very frequent non-sober calls in hysterics about how her life is ruined. This was after she turned our lives upside down with her substance abuse throughout our childhood; went to rehab 5 times and relapsed every time; was given literal COUNTLESS chances by my dad and family to start fresh including amazing job and housing opportunities; nearly bankrupted my dad, forced him to move and raise 6 children on his own; and eventually lost relationships with all of her family and children except me. 

I kept being friends with her until 2 1/2 years ago when I received a call that she had messed up again in a huge way.

She got herself kicked out of her free housing arrangement and lost her job before it even started, forcing me to go pick her up on the side of the road and let her crash at my apartment for the night.

I remember when I was scrambling to hide all of the pills in my place before getting her, then picking her up and her crying that my dad was still ignoring her and wouldn't give her money anymore. That's when it really hit me that I'd finally had enough.

grayscale photo of woman crying holding her right chest Kat J

28. Gotta love a manager who won't back down

Some obnoxious at a hotel I was staying at. She stayed too long with her kids at the hotel pool. Then when it was time to eat, she pulled out some "Kids eat free" coupon. The waitress told her the coupon was only good from 11 til 2. It was 3:30.

Well, this old broad threw a fit like the world was coming to an end. And of course, she demanded to see the manager. The manager told her the same thing. Then she even got into name calling, accusing the woman of making her children starve just to enforce some arbitrary policy.

"You're welcome to buy lunch to feed them just like everybody else. If they starve, it's due to you being late for lunch. Not us."

"[Bleep]! [Bleep]! I'm going to take this to the Better Business Bureau! And you're going to get negative reviews from me all over the internet."

"Alright," the manager said, politely. "Be sure and tell them the whole story."

three white deck chairs Paulo Almeida

29. This is the worst thing you can do to a partner

My ex pressured me into a relationship, used every trick in the book. I tried to be honest and said I’d never been in a relationship before and I wasn’t sure I was ready. Looking back, I gave myself what I thought was the perfect out.

Four days later I broke it off. Got threatened with him taking his own life immediately. I’d pulled out all the stops saying this was on me because I’d been right, I wasn’t ready, etc, nothing I said mattered. I was suddenly responsible for a mentally unstable person’s life, or lack thereof if I left.

Within a five minute period I became the most disgusting, hideous person in all existence and my partner was yet again the victim of empty promises of love and affection. I read this to mean I wasn’t the first, nor would I be the last, to be caught up in their lies. I decided to leave them to their own devices; last I heard they’re still around, still pretending to put their life in other people’s hands.


man in black crew neck shirt Sammy Williams

30. You know, faking this is super pathetic

A girl in my group in high school went around school for a full day with her sleeves rolled up to show off bandages on both wrists and told everyone who'd stand still that she tried to end her life because I was bullying her.

There were no marks at all under the bandages and the whole thing was a ploy because our choir director caught her beating on me with a hardcover textbook and was planning to inform her parents. I had bruises. She decided to try to get around this by claiming she was the victim instead.

It worked on her parents, but luckily for me didn't work on anyone else.

white rolled paper on white surface FLY:D

31. Classic bully projection

I have a good one. In middle school this kid would constantly bully me. It got to the point where most of our class hated him because I was nice to everyone.

The rest of the class gave him crap and refused to include him in anything. It was to the point where a whole auditorium of 100 kids ganged up against him when he called me a name. They didn't beat him up or anything, they just called him out.

Well he didn't like it so he decided to falsify bullying claims against me and act like I was harassing him.

He did it every gym class. If he was in my group playing hockey than he would deliberately position himself to get whacked by my stick whenever I tried to hit the ball and claim I did it on purpose. He would get what few friends he had to claim I was bullying him.

Of course, I did my best to avoid him and everyone knew it. He once crushed the water bottle I had bought with what little personal money I had back then. My teachers informed the gym teachers about him so they never believed him.

man playing soccer on the field Jeffrey F Lin

32. If you don't kick me out, I'll kick myself out!

My roommate kicked himself out of my condo.

I didn’t know this before he moved in, but he turned out to be a pathological liar and attention/pity seeker. He fabricated and gossiped all kinds of stories that were easily proven false and then he’d backpedal and lash out if caught. I was super uncomfortable with it and privately started making mental plans to give him his 30 days’ notice at the end of his lease (4 months away), but hadn’t told anyone.

Well, one day I get some text messages from some mutual colleagues asking if it was true that I was kicking him out TODAY and I tell them that this was the first I was hearing of it.

Turned out that roughly after the third or fourth time that I caught the roommate in a major lie, he noticed that I wasn’t as chummy with him anymore, and he started spreading a rumour that I hated him now and that I was going to kick him out and make him homeless.

He went crying to all of the prettiest ladies of the gossip mill at work about how he was getting kicked out tonight and the rumour travelled quickly in a circle back around and he got tons of attention.

So that night he comes home from drinks with his gossip entourage and starts yelling at me about how he’d heard that I’m evicting him and demands to know if the rumour was true that I was going to kick him out tonight. I told him nope, I had no idea what he was talking about. He starts ranting and raving about how gossip gets around and continues accusing me.

I tell him point blank that I don’t know what he’s talking about, but I was upfront about my intention to give him notice at the end of his lease.

He starts yelling and then cuts me off and gives himself 30 days notice from today and starts accusing me of kicking him out before the holidays. Then he stormed off and updated his whole gossip train that he HAD been kicked out tonight and that the rumours were all true.

The next day he found a friend’s couch to sleep on and another room to rent by the end of the week, and upped the gossip to “Billie hates me so much he kicked me out onto the street that night.”

So he turned his own rumour that he created about himself into a quasi-reality. He did leave my home that day, but not on my doing. My home and my life are 1000x more peaceful now that he is gone.

bottom view shot of airplane flying above high rise building Sorasak

33. Who wants to get arrested in my place?

My friend once crashed my other friend's car into a parked truck while racing in the neighborhood. After the crash he proceeded to act like he had no memory and was in severe pain even though we could tell he was fine (which he was). He was telling my other 4 friends in the car to take the blame because he wasn’t a legal driver, then he lied to the police claiming that they forced him to drive even though he insisted he drove because he’s “responsible”. He is now an ex friend.

white police car in wall Conor Samuel

34. It's not stealing; the company owes me!

An employee was being fired for a multitude of infractions at a coffee shop.

He had been caught by management calling customers things like 'moron' and 'stupid imbecile' under his breath and several customers had also reported the behavior. He was constantly late or would leave early or beg others to cover his shift. Instead of restocking or cleaning the area during down times he would take out his drumsticks and 'practice', which annoyed the other employees and customers.

During inventory counts we noticed whole pallets of sandwiches or baked goods were 'missing' as well as bottled drinks, etc... We were mysteriously out of huge 5 lbs bags of the espresso roast. The numbers were not adding up.

He was subsequently fired after being caught bad mouthing a customer while a visiting manager was also in the cafe (the guy didn't know it). The guy blamed all the issues on everyone else:

- Late to work turned into 'I missed the bus' or 'my roommate forgot to wake me up in time.'

- Leaving early turned into 'Well, I got a call for a gig/there was a concert I wanted to see.'

- Food missing turned into 'I didn't have money to eat and it's the company's responsibility to ensure I'm fed while on the clock.'

- Calling customers names turned into 'they misunderstood me. It's not my fault they're so sensitive.'

All this dude's problems were blamed on everyone else and all his issues and situation in life was blamed on everyone else.

Us employees stopped inviting him out because at bars he would order drinks and tell the bartender one of us was covering and skip out or leave rapidly before check was presented to us. He would also walk around tables when people got up to dance or talk in a group and guzzle down their drinks. He was an all around crappy person.

Found out after he was fired from our store he was hired by a Starbucks in the mall - who failed to call for a reference or check even though our store was listed as previous place of employment. He was caught stealing money and food from there too.


interior of a coffee shop daan evers

35. You know it's bad when you get thrown out of the hospital

My BIL, (wife's brother.) Everything is terrible in his life because everyone conspires to be mean to him. All his substance problems are other people's fault.

The government never should have taken his kid from him, because he's a good father. When his disabled mother got custody of his kid and then let him move in with them, she made up all those stories about him hitting her and the kid. When the government (both APS and CPS) told us we had to protect them from him, we had no right to take his kid (that he hadn't had custody of for years).

This guy. It just gets worse and worse.

He lives off disability for back problems he's had since getting a beat down for running his mouth at the wrong people, despite the fact his doctors tell him he doesn't need a wheelchair and can work. It's our fault he can't pay his bills, even though he's still living in his mother's house rent free.

In his mind, we "abandoned him to die" and are horrible people for not letting him live with us, despite the fact that the government literally put his mother and kid in our care to keep them safe FROM him. 

He actually got Adult Protective Services to call us and tell us we had to take care of him and fix up his house.

By the way, we live 250 miles away in a different state. We explained the history and gave them the names of the case workers for his mother and son, who know him well. APS confirmed what we told them. When APS told him we didn't agree to let him live with us, he demanded they file a court order to force us to allow him to live in our home.

APS told him that wasn't actually a thing that could happen; so he started screaming profanities at everyone in the hospital (she called us from the hospital, we heard him screaming.) When the doctors told him, again, he didn't need a wheelchair; he screamed at them. They discharged him, but he refused to leave on his own, so they sent him home in an ambulance. He refused to get out, so they wound up driving him back to the hospital and leaving him on a gurney in the ER waiting room. After 8 hours when he still refused to leave they had security drag him out and dump him in the parking lot.

But in my brother in law's eyes, this is all a vast conspiracy to spite him.

photo-1614101062781-09a8dfb90dce?ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1wYWdlfHx8fGVufDB8fHx8&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&auto=format&fit=crop&w=1000&q=80 Frederic Köberl

36. You're way more patient than I would be

My ex-husband never got a job until I literally got him one. When I got out of the military he wanted to move to a particular town he used to live and work in, despite his current employment and me getting a really good job offer as a civilian on base.

We agreed that he'd get his prior job back (he assured me he was cool with the manager), and I'd use my GI bill to finish school and raise our son, since I'd missed his first steps being in the military.

10 months later, I've had to get a job and run through my savings, and I find out from one of my best friends (who ex husband had worked with at the job he was assured to get) that my ex knew the manager didn't work there anymore and wasn't going to get his old job back. So I'd given up a good paying job for a crappy one, used up my savings, etc.

I told my ex that I wanted a divorce in November, after he forgot my birthday, and moved out mid December. Mind you, I'd paid out my lease until it ran out at the end of January on the condition that he mind our dogs because I couldn't afford both apartments, AND a pet deposit. All I said when I left was, I wanted him to get a job and be a dad. Those were literally the only two conditions I ever put on us working things out. Anywho, get the dogs back and they're malnourished and ex had told everyone that I was an evil witch for leaving him high and dry.

This was in 2013, and eventually every one of his friends has kicked him out for not getting a job. 

four people standing on edge of mountain Helena Lopes

37. It wasn't me!

I used to install/repair/calibrate/deinstall breathalyzers in cars for those who were arrested for DUI. I've seen some who admit they messed up and follow the rules in order to get out of the system, but of course there are a lot of people who try to cast themselves as the victims.

I had one tell me that she only drink vino and not brewskis so the police officer clearly screwed up. (I explained to her that wine is actually more powerful but she continued her little pity party.)

But she wasn't even the craziest one!

One woman showed up for an installation, was told that we were behind schedule and she'd have to wait. She called up someone and said that since we couldn't install her right then and there that she shouldn't be forced to go through the program.

One guy bypassed his system, got caught when I examined it, blamed me because he wasn't allowed into the garage when I calibrated his system, then told me that his friend did it because he didn't know how to work the breathalyzer. He and his father then came into the shop to yell at me because his license was suspended because of my reports about the bypass and it wasn't him who did it. Even reminding him of the lease agreement for the device and how you are responsible for the device and everything that happens to it, made zero impact.

I honestly don't miss that job. It was the only job dealing with customers where a customer tried to take a swing at me.

person pouring red wine on wine glass Lefteris kallergis

38. Who's the baby now?

When I was around 15 or 16 I used baby wipes to clean the make up off my face on a night, and then I would dispose of them in the bin.

Anyway, I went to stay with family in Scotland for a couple of weeks when I got a really angry phone call from my mum. She was shouting at me saying the baby wipes I had used had blocked the pipes for the entire street and that she had had to pay to get it fixed (not sure if that's entirely true as I believe the council would fix it for free) and that I was in big trouble and to never flush baby wipes again.

I protested my innocence, and pointed out that I hadn't even been in the same country for two weeks anyway so it couldn't have been me, but apparently the neighbours had decided to place the blame on me(?).

Guess who was really to blame?

Fast forward to around a month later and my neighbour is hammering on our door asking for my dad and a plunger as her 2 year old son had stuffed packs of baby wipes down the toilet and she had tried to flush them away and her toilet was blocked and overflowing. This was the neighbour who had obviously blamed me for the previous baby wipe incident to protect her 2 year old son.

My mum looked at me with the most guilty face and mouthed sorry, I was most certainly vindicated that day!

white ceramic bathtub Jared Rice

39. Could've just said "you look bad"

One time I was hanging out at my sister's house, just killing time. I'm waiting for her and her friend to get ready to go out and I'm eating Doritos when my sisters friend exits the bathroom and asks, "How do I look?" My sister replies with a smile, "Debbie, I love that dress on you. It's like you don't care what anyone thinks." Women are scary, man.

woman wearing white dress standing in front of mirror Jonathan Borba

40. Is the the mom from Everybody Loves Raymond

My mother in law watches my son twice a week. I usually drop him off, but one morning she happened to be running errands in the neighborhood and decided to pick him up. At the time, it was still early and I hadn't brushed his hair yet. Note... she is the most passive-aggressive person I have ever met and she is always making making comments regarding my parenting.

So she looks at my son and in a sweet, fake voice says, "We should brush your hair so people don't think nobody loves you." Witch. I have tons more.

photo-1616515150370-5dd96a3c1a88?ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1wYWdlfHx8fGVufDB8fHx8&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&auto=format&fit=crop&w=1000&q=80 Ainara Oto

41. They are chicken

I was taking care of my elderly grandparents and started to defrost chicken for dinner. The phone rang and my grandmother answered the phone. She then called me down because my uncle on the other line wanted to talk to me. I pickup and say hello, and he replies "They don't want chicken for dinner."

bread on white ceramic plate Hayley Ryczek

42. Facebook has increased passive-aggression by 10,000%

Probably in college when I saw my roommate's Facebook status about how she "hates when her roommates get sick because they might infect her," and how she "didn't understand why people just don't go to the doctor." I had the flu, and my parent's didn't have insurance. Screw you, Michelle.

person holding silver iphone 6 Solen Feyissa

43. Pennies from heaven

In high school a dude started insulting me and making fun of me. That weekend I went to where he worked (a dollar store) and bought some snacks with all pennies. He refused to count my pennies, the manager had to count then for him, and he got fired. Never messed with me again, though.

silver and gold round coins Amelia Spink

44. Stuck on the elevator

I stopped by the hospital to visit my grandma and while walking in this large couple steps in front of me and starts walking really really slowly. I'm not exactly Speedy González myself (dat arthritis), so I just shrugged and slowed my pace a little bit.

Anyway, they got on the elevator and I stepped in behind them. The guy hit the button for the top floor, I hit the button for the second floor. As soon as I do the girl lets out this very loud, very obvious sigh, like she was just sooo put out that they had to stop at my floor on the way to theirs.

I'm used to people acting annoyed when I get on the elevator with them just to go to the next floor, so I just ignored her. But as I was getting off (and I have no idea what in the world compelled me to do this) I reached back and hit every single freaking button for every freaking floor in between mine and theirs and then I hit the door close button so they couldn't say a word to me.

Felt good, man.

close-up photo of elevator push buttons Jason Dent

45. Picture imperfect

I was trying to finish up a media project in the computer lab in high school. The door was locked. But I see this girl at one of the monitors through the window slit, so I bang on the door to get her attention and unlock it for me. She looks back at me and nonchalantly goes back to her photo editing.

I bang on the door for a solid 20 minutes before I watch her finish and pack up. She comes out the door and looks at me in disgust for whatever feeble reason she may have. Exasperated and ticked off, I go to her same monitor with intent of messing up her dumb photoshop crap.

It was a portrait of herself doing a ballerina pose. So naturally I put markings all over the photo including a mustache on her face, flatten the image and saved over it.

photography of dancing ballerina Hudson Hintze

46. I love doing this to impatient drivers

Back when I had just learned to drive a stick, I got honked out at the light because some impatient jerk thought I was taking too long going after a green light. I had accidentally put the car in third instead of first, so it took me an extra second or two to get moving.

This guy just lays on his horn for a few seconds, then once we start moving, he changes to the other lane because he expects me to be slower than the car in the other lane.

Turns out the car in the other lane was stupidly slow, going 27, 28 in a 35 zone. So naturally, I drove 27. Then when the guy tries to pass me, illegally, I edge out just enough so he can't pass me, and he had to drive behind us for a solid 10 miles.

black and silver car gear shift lever Syed Ali

47. A penny for your thoughts

Friend of my mine borrowed my copy of Avengers and I wanted it back but he said he was still watching it. Instead of doing something drastic I pulled the penny prank that I had heard about on the internet. I placed pennies strategically in places he would find them for about two weeks.

On the day when he finally flipped (a penny somehow ended up in his burrito) and started demanding to know who was placing penny's everywhere, I looked him in the eyes and said, "You done with my movie yet?" Got my movie the next day.

close-up photo of assorted coins Josh Appel

48. That's your mess

When I lived with messy housemates I was sick of having to wash anything I needed to use so I bought 1x fork, knife, spoon, bowl, plate, pan. Used them, washed them, took them back to my room. Let the mess build up to a ridiculous standard until they were sick of it.

person in green long sleeve shirt washing stainless steel sink Marek Studzinski

49. I do voodoo

I used to work with a girl who seemed like the nicest person you could meet. After a while of working with her she told me she was hyper-spiritual and whenever someone was mean to her or didn't do what she wanted she'd spend X amount of weeks "sending bad vibes at them" whenever they weren't looking at her.

After she told me I started looking for it and surely enough, any time someone would turn around she'd crunch her face up into a painful shape and just look at that person until they turned back around.

yellow green and purple plastic balloons Eduardo Dorantes

50. What is it with roommates and dishes?

Last year I lived with three roommates. I provided all of the cookware and cooking utensils, and my only rule for other people using them was that they had to wash them when they were done. Only one of them followed the rule, but it wasn’t super annoying. I just dealt with it.

Then one day, someone used my pan to make a grilled cheese and burnt a bread shape into the bottom of the pan. They didn’t butter the freaking bread first so that was obviously going to happen.

The pan was not usable anymore, so I said in our group chat that I needed to be reimbursed for it or the person who did it should buy a new pan. My one roommate responded with: “What you think you deserve isn’t always what you get, sweetheart. It’s called life.”

So I took all of my cookware and utensils and kept them in a laundry basket in my room. Screw that girl. What you think you deserve isn't always what you get.

photo-1623375477629-b027d0f99819?ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1wYWdlfHx8fGVufDB8fHx8&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&auto=format&fit=crop&w=1000&q=80 David Thielen

51. Throw candy at my face

Worked for a pair of patronizing scumbags at a franchised sandwich shop. Every month they held a mandatory meeting where they would grill us with dozens of basic questions about making sandwiches.

We were required to answer in order to keep our jobs, and they asked each question sloooowwwly... with lots of, okay are you listening? rephrasing, so that our feeble minds could grasp the questions. As incentive, whenever we answered correctly, they would throw us a fun-sized candy.

We stopped catching the candy. Just let it bounce right off our stone-cold faces. For months.

person holding a candy pack on white plastic box

52. Can't sell it? We'll give it away

Pot is legal now here in Canada but there is still a bit of red tape in some provinces. This meaning in places like Ontario any dispensaries can not operate legally until April 2019.

In my city we had a raid on a dispensary after legalization. Any product they had could not be legally sold. However here you can legally gift someone herb as long as they are above the legal age. So they ran a can and coat drive for local charities and gave away free stuff to people who donated. They literally gave away pounds (to many people) and got so many donations that they were asked not to collect any more coats.

Cops said they couldn't sell their stuff but it was perfectly legal to give away. The best passive-aggressive play I've ever seen.

person holding green grass during daytime CRYSTALWEED cannabis

53. Rough smoothie

This girl at my current job frequently makes smoothies for everyone in culinary who is on the shift at the time. She won’t make smoothies for people she’s upset with. So there’s times where she’s made smoothies for over five people and casually just doesn’t have one for the cook she has beef with.

pink smoothie Denis Tuksar

54. Smile at me; or don't

I didn’t have that option. I was her team leader. The rest of the team were fully aware of her hatred for me and I was determined not to allow it to affect me. My position of authority depended on it. I had to carry on as though her efforts to get me fired were wasted on me. For example:

She reported me for not smiling at her when I passed her in the hall. A week later, she reported me for smiling at her as I passed her in the hall.

man in white and brown striped shirt smiling Emmanuel Akinte

55. These lightbulbs are MINE

Had a falling-out with a housemate, asked her to move out. Left to do some shopping -- came back home after nightfall to find she had removed every single lightbulb in the downstairs area (our part of the house, not hers) because "she paid for them." We lived in a remote, rural area with no 24hr stores. We had to live in the dark until morning.

The next day, as I was making breakfast for both my child and my housemate's child (both the same age, in grade school), I had toast cooking in both toasters (mine and hers) to save time. She swept downstairs, took the toast out of her toaster and threw it on the counter, unplugged her toaster, and swept back upstairs with it, without one word.

The day she moved out, we celebrated like we won the lottery.

clear light bulb lot Diz Play

56. Seat hogs need to be arrested

I was both the victim and perpetrator of passive aggression at a bus station the other day.

Some old dude had a bag on the only available seat, so I smiled at him and politely asked if the seat was taken. He gave me a death stare and said that it wasn't taken, and so I waited for him to move his bag. He didn't. He then said, "Well, sit there, then!" and I realized that he was so ticked off with me for having the audacity to ask him to move his bag off the seat that he expected me to move it for him. So I sat on the bag.

He snatched it away and I said "oops, sorry!" as sweetly as I could, and then we sat in silence for an hour.

grayscale photo of bus on road Clay LeConey

57. Cold as ice

Girlfriend was upset with me over not cleaning something. I asked her for a glass of water and she brought me a glass of ice and told me to wait.

clear glass container on white textile Giorgio Trovato

58. A passive-aggressive mugging

Something that I am currently doing: I work at a law firm and we live off coffee. I like having cute things around so I bought my own coffee mug that I liked and have been using it for more than a year at my office.

Several months ago, a new paralegal was hired and I started noticing that my mug was missing. Now, I don't mind if someone uses my mug once in a while. All the mugs are kept together in the kitchen. It's an unspoken rule that some people prefer certain mugs and we all tend to know who uses what. There are also a ton of simple mugs that everyone uses.

So, after two weeks without seeing my mug anywhere, I do a little snooping and find out that the new paralegal has been using it. Okay, fine. But even after mentioning how it was my mug that I bought, she still uses it. She's a little on the weird side, but whatever.

I decide that I'll just make coffee a few minutes before she does, so that I'll get the mug before her. That worked for a few days, in which she was very confused and complained to several people that mugs had started going missing. Then she starts getting to work early (by at least 20 minutes!) and making coffee first thing. By the time I got to the office the mug would be long gone.

This weekend I had to go into the office for something. The mug was in the kitchen. I took it. The mug is now in my desk drawer. It will stay in my desk drawer for several weeks, until the paralegal forgets about it and moves on. My pettiness makes me very happy.

I have meanwhile bought a new mug that I've been using that she has yet to attempt to steal.

woman holding mug sitting on sofa bruce mars

59. A sociopath with no cunning whatsoever

When I worked as a tech writer, my company hired a bona fide sociopath (M) who quickly began jockeying to become the boss of me and the other writer there. At one point M suggested she should be the "editor" (i.e. do no real work and just critique ours) and my coworker pointed out I'd been an editor previously, so if anyone should do it I should. Later that day M requested my resume under the pretence that it would help us all become more familiar with each other.

We shut her nonsense down pretty well, but at one point M just up and printed out a document I'd written years ago and marked it up with red pen, apropos of nothing, and came over to my desk to talk about fixing the errors she had found. It was the pettiest behavior I'd ever come across in the work world.

photo-1517971071642-34a2d3ecc9cd?ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1wYWdlfHx8fGVufDB8fHx8&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&auto=format&fit=crop&w=1000&q=80 Hannah Olinger

60. Let me buzz you in -- or not

At my work, for visitors to get into the building, I need to buzz them in. There are big signs saying to ask the front desk for directions to where you're going. Very often people just walk by and expect me to just let them in and walk around the building willy nilly.

Something like 90% of people who are just visiting will get lost, bother the other workers who are trying to work and have no clue where the person who they're looking for is, come back and ask where to go.

When they're being jerks, I'lI just stare at them and wait. They'll usually tug on the door, glance at me, tug again, read the sign, then tug again for the last time. All this time I'll just stare at them.

Then when they come up to me, I ask very innocently if I can help them and when they say the door is locked, I will give them the most sincere, "Oh I can open it for you, why didn't you just say so?"

For the extra special individual, I'll buzz the door while they walk away from my desk, making them run a bit and then I'll let go of the button a second before they reach it causing the inevitable tugging war with the door that will never lose.

unknown persons using computer indoors Arlington Research

61. Get on your soapbox

My sister accused me of soaping up her toothbrush when we were kids. I didn't, but I felt so offended that she accused me of doing it that I decided I should just do the crime. I scrubbed the heck out of a bar of soap with her toothbrush a few days later. She never confronted me or my parents about it, but she soon started using a different toothbrush for some reason.

white, blue, and green toothbrush with blue toothpaste William Warby

62. Video game addict

I had a roommate that used my computer too much. I thought I’d be nice since it was the 90s and not everybody had a computer or access to the internet, so I set up my computer in the living room and let people use it. She stopped going to class and just played video games all day.

So I wrote a program that would randomly kill a process (except itself) every 15 minutes. I added it to run at startup. So she’d use my computer and it would randomly crash. I’d kill the process when I would use it so I never had any difficulty. She’d complain how unstable my computer was but I’d never see a problem. I think she eventually flunked out and moved on.

white Macintosh computer bert brrr

63. Get off my lawn

Our neighbors keep parking their car on our front lawn despite having multiple parking spaces (the front of their house is filled with junk that they can't be bothered cleaning up). On the way back from walks I've been discreetly letting my dog dump next to the car on the driver's side in hopes that they'll step on a turd bomb while getting in/out of their car. Any day now my stealthy work will pay off...

white sedan on green grass field during sunset Christian Wiediger

64. Some say she's still there to this day

I was pulling into the parking lot at the grocery store I used to work at. There were maybe six cars in front of me waiting to turn right. Next to the right lane was a sort of half breakdown lane. The lady in front of me (who was a Mass-hole) thought she could cut the entire line and go right before the other five people in front of her. She pulled into the breakdown lane and instantly realized there was not enough space to cut everyone else in line.

After she pulled into the breakdown lane, I pulled forward and occupied the spot she had been in, so there was no way for her to re-enter the traffic lane. She looked at me and I just smiled back. I don't know how long she was there after I drove off.

woman leaning against a wall in dim hallway Eric Ward

65. Be careful what you wish for

I was working with this girl who kept stabbing me in the back and flirting with our boss trying to get my big clients.

I've just resigned and given her what she wants. My big clients. And the small, demanding ones too. All my clients actually. All 120 of them.

Thanks to intensive lobbying from both of us, my boss decided she was the most capable person to handle all the clients. She now has about 200 accounts and my ex-assistant told me her phone has not stopped ringing. She's getting yelled at nonstop by many big clients for her incompetence (there was a reason she never got them in the first place).

We're taking bets on when she'll finally admit to my boss she can't handle it and/or be fired.

person holding smartphone Rodion Kutsaev

66. The loser team

I'm a teacher. Throughout the semester I take note of students who are rude, disrespectful, lazy, and entitled -- there's usually 4 or 5 in every class -- and I put them together as a group for their team project. Inevitably, this "loser" team produces a low quality deliverable that gets a low grade because no one wants to step up to the plate and do the work or lead the project.

Bottom line? Think twice before texting your way through class or arguing that your crappy, grammatically impaired paper that you obviously dashed off the morning it was due deserves an A because you're a self-proclaimed "A student" because it will come back to bite you in the butt.

photography of school room Feliphe Schiarolli

67. Why can't we just communicate?

One time after I showered I must have accidentally knocked over my housemate's face towel from the rack, because for the next 2 weeks I kept finding my towel on the floor, I brushed it off and assumed it kept falling down.

I found out from my other housemate that she knocked it over intentionally because she thought I threw hers on the ground and she was waiting for me to apologize.

Glad I got out of that living situation.

four green towels Denny Müller

68. Get trashed

I had a roommate who created more trash than one person ever should. He was constantly in denial about it. It was never his turn or his trash that was filling the trashcan almost daily. I bought another trashcan and wrote my name on it. I would drag it into the kitchen when I needed it and back to my bathroom, which he did not have access to when I was finished.

He finally got the point about a week and a half in when he realized it was all his trash. It also helped that his new girlfriend came over and commented on the smell. I told her about our little arrangement and how all the trash she saw in the kitchen was his. Never had a problem again.

green and blue trash bins Sigmund69. Share the road

I bike commute daily to the lab I work at on a university campus. I follow traffic laws and am courteous of the cars that I share the road with, and expect the same from them.

A few weeks ago, I was riding onto campus, and a car behind me just sat on their horn. They couldn't be bothered by a silly cyclist, couldn't simply pass me on the left. At the time, there was a passing lane, and I was riding as far right as was safe. Instead of just passing me, they just kept on pressing that horn, as I spun at 20+ mph.

Then, we went through a roundabout and entered a single-lane one-way road that continues for, oh, a few hundred yards. They are still blasting on that horn. At this point, I move to the middle of the road and slowed up a bit. They lost their mind. There was no one behind them, so I felt no guilt whatsoever.

person in black jacket riding on white bicycle during daytime Beeline Navigation

70. Forbidden love and laundry

I had a roommate who was really romantically interested in my husband. She was the sweetest girl ever when he was around, but when it was just she and I, she was ridiculously rude.

One day, I put a load of laundry into the wash and left to get cat food or something. I was gone for literally a half hour, and as soon as I got home, I went to put my laundry into the dryer. She had thrown my wet laundry all over the basement. Thrown it all like the articles of clothing were flower petals in the breeze. I brushed it off and figured I wouldn't stoop to her level, but wait it out. She'd grow up someday, right? Nope.

Fast forward to the third time she pulled this little stunt with my laundry. I found her laundry in the wash (she had conveniently left the house, and didn't come back until the following morning), put it all into a laundry basket, and brought it to her room. I folded her clothes, soaking wet, and put them on her bed in neat piles. Then I found one of my cats (who liked to roll in soot and make little black cat prints everywhere) and put him in her room for a few hours. All of her work shirts sported little paw prints for about a month afterward.

woman kneeling in front of front-load clothes washer inside laundry shop averie woodard

71. Butts for bowls

My roommate and I have separate dishes to try and avoid arguments over who's turn it is. Due to him being a slob his dishes are piled next to the sink and mine are clean and in the cupboard.

He asked me earlier today if he could borrow a bowl from me as all his were dirty and he couldn't be bothered cleaning them. I said no immediately but he promised to wash it as soon as he is done. I agreed for some reason and he has since gone to bed, my bowl unwashed.

About 15 minutes ago I got up, sat on his chair bare-butt and farted for at least 10 seconds. Justice is served.

brown throw pillow on white and blue bed linen Jonathan Borba

72. Mom is a savage

My mother had been complaining about the fact that she didn't have any recent pictures of me a couple of years ago, so I finally gave in and got her one. It was me at a wedding where I'd really put the effort in -- dress, makeup, heels, the whole business -- and she took one look at it, took a look back up at me and said, "Oh, what a lovely frame!"

Thanks, mum. I couldn't even be mad at her. It was just savage.

In her defence, she claims she didn't recognize it was me and thought it was a stock photo that came with the frame, because I don't dress up all that often. The fact that she emphasized "... because you don't dress up all that often" was really just kicking me while I was down.

brown wooden framed mirror Angèle Kamp

73. "Enjoy scrubbing my pee into your skin you cow"

I had a roommate who thought bringing a full sized drum set into a shared house and jamming out for hours in the room next to mine starting at midnight was acceptable behavior. She also ruined some of my plates. Didn’t even apologize and just thew them out.

When I confronted her about it apparently it was my fault they weren’t microwave safe and they were “tacky anyway.” She took my clothes out of the washer in the laundry building and left them on the counter because “she had somewhere to be.” When I informed her that I also had somewhere to be she said I was less important. But I still finished my laundry first because I was there first. So she took a pink market and cracked the ink tube open and poured it into my clothes in the dryer then denied it.

She always hogged the bathroom and would stand outside the door when I showered to try to force me to come out sooner. I took to showering at 3am just to avoid her.

But one day she came to the door at 3am and was like, “You’re using all the hot water. You better not be using my body scrub!” I had never even touched her body scrub.

Until that moment. I opened her scrub and peed into it. I mixed it all up, and closed the lid and put it back.

Enjoy scrubbing my pee into your skin you cow.

gray steel shower Chandler Cruttenden

74. The dish-unwasher

I have a colleague who is insistent that somebody keeps putting dirty cups back in the cupboard. Everybody keeps telling her she's being stupid because nobody would actually do that and its probably just the dishwasher not cleaning thoroughly....

I can safely say if she wasn't such a miserable negative old witch I wouldn't keep putting dirty cups back in the cupboard.

The best part is we are purchasing more expensive, robust washing tablets to combat the apparent poor job the dishwasher does. That is obviously not working, so 3 weeks from now we are having a new dishwasher put it.

I will not be beaten.... mwah ha ha!

assorted-color ceramic bowls and saucers lot on white wooden shelves Brooke Lark

75. "You putrid vat of slime"

I hated this woman at work, and she was very particular about which pair of scissors she used. One day I snapped and freaking annihilated these scissors man, I stamped on them, bent them out of shape, swiped them through my butt like a credit card, and then just put them back in her drawer.

It occurred to me that evening that putting them back in her drawer, as if some sort of scissor gremlin had visited in the night and destroyed them, was utterly stupid.

I turned up 90 minutes early in the morning to dispose of them, and kept my head down nice and quiet when she realized and flipped out.

Screw you, Barbara, you putrid vat of slime.

gray steel scissors Matt Artz

76. Battle of the bands

I worked nights when I was younger. My apartment was for the most part dead quiet during the day as we weren't too far from the local university. So, it was perfect.

Well, until this family moved in next door and their teenager decided they were going to play hip-hop as loud as freaking possible. Even the office had enough after two days of this.

Day 3, even letters from the office didn't work. So, I line up my stereo right next to the adjoining wall and pump bagpipes.

They pounded on the wall for an hour to get me to stop. I didn't give in. They knocked on my door, I finally answered, and they asked me to stop. The apartment manager was just walking up behind the kid when I said, "The manager left notes on your door two days in a row warning you of excessive noise. YOU ARE DISTURBING EVERYONE ELSE WITH YOUR BAD MUSIC. And now you're pleading with me to stop? Nah. YOU GET BACH NOW, IDIORS!"

I slammed the door and for the rest of the day she complained to the manager that she couldn't hear her music over alternating Bach and Bagpipes. I let up after that, but the manager loved the retribution and this 17-year-old kid in her office complaining and never once seeming to get the situation until it finally sank in.

We never heard anything from her again. Ever.

close-up photography of man carrying instrument Johnny Cohen

77. Passive-aggressive uncle revenge

So I'm at my local laundromat and the lady who works there starts to tell me this story about a guy who came in earlier that cussed her out because he tried to wash heavy paint drop clothes soaked in paint and god knows what else and she wouldn't let him.

This was after parking in 3 spots in his big blue van and ranting about his tongue surgery and basically acting condescending to no end.

Anyway, turns out I know that jerk. Matter of fact I work with him and he was in a work truck. He's also my uncle... and yes he acts like that all the time but cant get fired because it's his daddy's company. So I took advantage of the opportunity and gave the nice lady the shop's number without revealing I worked there or I was related to him just so he would catch some flak.

Now he can't drive company vehicles.

photo-1604335398941-8d7108a9e8e9?ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1wYWdlfHx8fGVufDB8fHx8&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&auto=format&fit=crop&w=1000&q=80 Oli Woodman

78. A hot tip

I worked as a pizza delivery driver in college.

When the deliveries were in a similar part of town and if they were good to route together we would take double or sometimes triple deliveries.

After a while you end up knowing the repeat customers. The ones who tip well, and especially the ones who don’t tip at all...

If I got a double and I knew one of them didn’t tip at all, I would deliver to the other person first. Even if I had to drive directly past your house to get there.

sliced pizza on white ceramic plate Jordan Nix

79. Politeness is the key

We moved in April and had our condo listed for sale - bought a new home in June and condo still hasn’t sold. We finally got an offer that was well below asking but we were in a pinch and needed to sell.

The buyer ended up being a huge jerk to work with so when it was all done I kept the garage door opener and told them I left it in the unit for them - and mind you it wasn’t a one car garage, it was the opener for an entire subbasement garage and I had spent the whole time we lived there trying to get a second from the property manager with no luck.

Our agent contacted us a week later and told me they were having no luck finding it and were having a hard time dealing with the property manager - felt so good.

architectural photography of parking lot Carl Newton

80. Girl gets back on a mega creep

I called it The Great Passive Aggression. It was retaliatory.

A couple years ago a guy in one of my college classes would not stop aggressively hitting on me; not after he met my boyfriend, not after I told him I wasn't interested. My life on campus became underscored by a fear of running into him and having to deal with his creepy comments about my body and what he would do to me, and him putting his hands on me. I even had to stop going to group study sessions, and my grades and ability to interact with my classmates suffered.

This semester I was single (no risk of hurting an SOs feelings by interacting with a guy who had been hitting on me), and he was in a class with me again at my new school. After the discomfort he put me through previously I decided to mess with him as hard as possible.

I sat behind him at first and kicked his chair for the entirety of class. When he wised up and put his back to the wall, I sat in front of him and blocked his view as best I could. I befriended and monopolized every female he spoke to in class (and he only spoke to the females, never interacted with the males).

I like to think I made him feel as freaked out and isolated as he made me feel, and perhaps made him reflect on how crappy it feels when someone won't stop invading your space and your life.

group of fresh graduates students throwing their academic hat in the air Vasily Koloda

81. Dogs can be passive-aggressive too

I have a medical alert dog. Just a disclaimer before I say what I'm about to say; the vast majority of people are AWESOME and ignore us, compliment my dog's behavior, or tell their kids why they can't pet and how she has a job to do (go awesome parents!).

And then there's people who don't and ignore the 4 patches on my dog's vest that identify her as a service dog, say you can't pet her. As well as icons that say no touch, no talk, no eye contact, and no photos. I've had people try to call her, pet her, even try to FEED her while I was sitting at a table, etc. Sometimes they don't get that even though she's the cutest girl on the planet, she has a very important job to do.

So one time after I had enough of people calling her, etc I decided to teach her the word "ignore". She knows leave it, which if for some reason her nose wanders she looks back up to me. So I taught her to do the same thing with a different word.

Anyways, to my story. I was checking out at a local craft store and my dog was to my right. Nothing crazy, just a usual weekend running errands and all that jazz.

This woman gets in the line behind us and instantly notices her, then tries to call her. I told her that my dog was working, and to please not distract my dog as she's a medical alert dog. Maybe thirty seconds pass and she calls her again with the whole "hey cute doggie" routine.

This time I told my dog to lay in front of me in an attempt to get the woman to stop. She continued with something along the lines, of "Oh, your mommy doesn't like it when I talk to you", and my dog broke focus and looked at her.

I then sternly told my dog to ignore in a kind of loud voice, which she responded to by snapping her focus back to me. The woman switched lines (and finally stopped), and that's probably the most proud I've ever been of my dog.

brown and white dog on grass Anna Dudkova

82. At least you realized you were the bad guy

This was about ten years ago, living with roommates, two brothers/friends of mine. I was extremely socially awkward then and fresh out of high school. First time trying to strike it out on my own as an adult.

I couldn't find a job for the life of me and yet, they allowed me to live with them rent free. I did my best to keep costs down and minimize my presence in the house the longer my unemployment went on. I didn't even have a car and relied on one of them to give me rides to the dollar store for my own food (couldn't even afford the regular grocery store).

Despite everything, tensions understandably rose between us and we spoke less and less.

I started placing a series of post-its on the fridge, saying things like "Need to go to store soon," "Almost out of food," "Out of food, need store NOW" etc. I was simply aghast my notes were going un-responded to.

Finally, one day I noticed a different colored post it placed over mine, that said "IF SOMEONE NEEDS A RIDE TO THE STORE, SOMEONE NEEDS TO ASK LIKE AN ADULT."

Oh, yes. I was the passive-aggressive jerk, and I had no idea. I felt terrible. I still don't know why I thought the notes were a better idea than just asking. Pride, I guess.

assorted notepads Patrick Perkins

83. Beware a jealous mother

My best friend and his girlfriend worked 3rd shifts, and had just had a baby, so asked if I could stay with them, and watch their newborn who is now my god daughter. Didn't know the girlfriend that well at first, and she would hide certain foods like I was about to eat them, small things like that at first. I had my own money for my own food, and I didn't like what she was hiding anyway.

4 months of watching their baby from 7am to around 5pm, then from 7pm to 7am every day but Saturday, the little spawn of satan became pretty attached to me. The mom started doing little things like stepping on my foot if the baby started crying when she saw me, or if the mom was holding her, and she reached out for me, it usually got me a comment like, "Shouldn't you be doing the dishes. Or whatever."

She was just a stressed out mom though, and we became best friends as well, and I like to make jokes about the foot stomping now. So it wasn't that big of a deal, but at the time it really made me wonder what her deal was.

woman in white shirt carrying baby Hollie Santos

84. Don't rock the boat

Me and my Boy Scout troop were canoeing across a lake. Me and this kid, let's call him Alan, were in the same boat. I took the rear position because I knew how to steer (I had been on a boat with this kid before and he sucked at it).

Well, he wanted to steer despite being in the front and he accused me of being a control freak that has to have everything his way. He told me to just provide power and that he would steer. At this point I began paddling with the strength and force of god and him being in the front couldn't steer so we started doing donuts in the lake while he was screaming at me to stop.

After a minute or two I stopped and he didn't ask to steer again the entire trip.

brown boat on body of water near green mountains under white sky at daytime Wes Grant

85. Passive-aggressive wedding toasts

Several years back, my buddy married his high school sweetheart and they had a nice private ceremony at a beautiful spot on the lake. Neither were religious so they were married earlier that day by the justice of the peace and the ceremony was just for the rest of the wedding stuff.

The groom's mom mentioned god like 15 times in her 5 minute speech and even made a crappy remark about having a "sort-of wedding" outside instead of "in the house of the lord."

The father of the bride started his speech a minute later and passive aggressively tore her a new one. He made little remarks about how most people have respected the religious beliefs of the couple and how great it is that they could do their own thing their own way instead of being forced to have the wedding someone else wanted. He even jabbed at her about the area at the lake being "god's country."

If looks could kill, the bride's entire family would have burst into flames.

gray and beige gazebo near green leafed tree Jeremy Wong Weddings

86. The old man and the tools

I was on a crew when I was a younger man and our job involved using a few tools to keep our machines running. Third year there they hire a guy because he was a ticketed mechanic at one time and he could help us with the aging machinery.

Old dude took everything to his head and suddenly he’s ‘the mechanic’ and the tools are his responsibility. He takes to giving people crap for using them etc. I mention it to the supervisor that dude is trying to flex on the full time crew and our boss told me to try and ignore the guy because he wasn’t working out and was ticking off management too.

Next day or so I grab a simple pair of pliers to tighten a thing and this old dude starts dressing me down overusing ‘his tools’ and if I touch them again he’s gonna have a talk with the boss. I just slowly walk inside the shop and calmly start dumping ‘his tools’ onto the concrete floor. Loud as thunder.

He turns and books it for the offices. He didn’t finish the day, was fired basically immediately.

Once I heard the news I simply cleaned up the mess (sorta) and acted like I had no idea what was going on. Everyone thought I tossed a tool on the floor or just dropped what I was using, dude was so irate. No one believed that I actually dumped all tools out and they thought the guy snapped because I dropped a pair of pliers.

photo-1597115964035-f49f2b555c85?ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1wYWdlfHx8fGVufDB8fHx8&ixlib=rb-1.2.1&auto=format&fit=crop&w=1000&q=80 Andrew Coop

87. Inconsequential yet infuriating

I'm a little late, but my roommate situation last year was just CONSTANT passive aggressive BS. Most of it was just annoying, but my absolute favorite happened between the two girls in the lower floors, “E” and “A”.

A always kept her TV volume too high, which was something E whined about all year. Oftentimes, E would text A asking her to turn it down, but she never did. (A later told me she thought it was “too immature” for E to be texting her instead of asking in person, so she refused to do what E asked. At no point did A explain this to E.)

So the last month of the semester comes, with both A and E moving out soon. At this point, both were slowly giving up on any pretence of tolerating each other, which was incredible to watch

One night, A refuses to turn her TV down again. so what does E do, you ask?

She... put A’s toaster on the floor of the kitchen. No damage, no nothing -- just unplugged it and set it on the floor.

A was losing her mind for DAYS because she was so steamed. “She's so weird!! Omfg!!! What if it was broken!!!” Meanwhile, me and my other roommate couldn't stop laughing at the sheer genius of doing something so inconsequential, yet infuriating.

white and black 2 slot bread toaster Manik Roy

88. A wedding is a great time to bring up the past

Two of my best friends are getting married, we're at the rehearsal dinner. The mother of the groom gets up and grabs the mic. To set the scene, the bride and I dated in high school, so a lot of people are super uncomfortable with the idea me being in the wedding party. But I was assured it would be fine.

I was a jerk in high school, so the mother basically goes over the story of how the two met and that the bride was dating this other guy, but her son was just far more charming and attractive, which he obviously got from her. The bride is petrified, everyone turns to stare at me, and I reactively choked on my drink.

The bride also introduced me to my last two girlfriends, the current one I'm going to marry, and we're their son's god parents. The mom is still mean to me, though. I'm pretty sure I'm going to hold that grudge forever.

three people having a toast using three clear crystal wine glasses Matthieu Joannon

89. The disabled parking space

My husband, who is not normally that type of person, did something yesterday that was the most passive aggressive thing I have seen in my life.

I'm currently recovering from a brutal knee surgery and I have a disabled parking placard. Our apartment building has one disabled parking place and we are the only ones who have a permit to use it. It's one of those extra large parking spaces for a larger vehicle that can carry a wheelchair (am I painting this picture well enough?).

Anyways, we have neighbours that have been (poorly) parking their vehicles over the line and taking up half the disabled parking spot (I need to be able to open the car door all the way to get out because I have a huge brace). Sometimes parking so far over the line that we couldn't even park our vehicle there.

We tried speaking with the landlord, but he's less than helpful. So, yesterday, they parked the same way, leaving virtually no space for us to get in. My husband lets me out by the apartment doors and proceeds to park as close as he possibly can to their vehicles driver's side without touching it. There must have been mere millimetres between the side mirrors.

We watched gleefully later that day as they had to climb over to the driver's side from the passenger door.

They haven't parked anywhere near us all day today, so I guess they learned their lesson.

handicap symbol AbsolutVision

90. Finally one where the neat freak is the bad guy

My roommate in college was a super neat freak and was very passive aggressive regarding what I did to pitch in. He would arrange furniture a certain way to make sure I noticed he vacuumed, and I'd move things back. He'd leave open the entryway closet so that I saw that he hung all jackets and Winter scarves, etc.

My favorite was when he would leave the kitchen trash can in the middle of the kitchen but without putting in a new trash bag, he wanted me to put in a new bag so I would be aware that he took the trash out. I didn't find it necessary to take out the trash every day and I found that a waste of trash bags. So, I went out one day and bought a new trash can and put it in the trash cupboard, leaving the other one in the middle of the kitchen.

kitchen utensils on stone washing station Scott Umstattd

91. The boyfriend is here to stay

A little backstory; a friend and I decided to move in together for college and be roommates. Well, a week in she decided to move her boyfriend in, wherein they split her half of the rent. So I paid half, they each paid a quarter. They both worked, I paid my half with my student loan and very careful budgeting.

After a few months the tension skyrockets. It's rent day and I have a migraine, so I send her my half of the rent. Then she tells me I have to walk to the bank and get the money, PLUS cover an extra $50 on their end cause they couldn't afford that month's rent. She told me I could either do that or wait and still pay an extra $50 for the late fee, because it was my fault for not lending her the money.

This led to a blowout fight, where my roommate told me, "We decided if there was no money coming in by Christmas, one of us will have to move out." Implying that they were planning to kick me out. Instead of letting that happen, I had my parents come get me and moved myself and my cat back in with them.

It's important to note at this point that we took all of our laundry to my mother's house in our home town every weekend, since one of us was always going back anyway. This fight happened on a day when I was going back, which meant I had all the laundry... including every towel we owned.

So a few days go by and I drop of all of their clothes. A few days after that...

RM: Where are all the towels?

Me: ...Maybe you shouldn't have tried to kick out the person who does all the laundry. Hope you can afford more!

man reading book while lying on gray fabric sofa Alabaster Co

92. Go ahead, have a drink

My daughter was notorious for not doing her chores which included washing the dishes and feeding the (her) cat. One day while she was on the computer I asked her if she was thirsty, would she maybe like some water? She enthusiastically said yes, not even wondering why I was being so accommodating. So I took a dirty glass and picked up the cat's water dish that was near her and which was slimy and poured that water into it while she watched and gave it to her.

She figured it out.

cat drinking water from bowl Carolien van Oijen

93. Nothing hurts like getting fired by a 13-year-old

I used to take piano lessons. I was 13ish in my 3rd-4th year, and that year I decided I wanted to take a break over the summer. We give two weeks notice, and on the last lesson for the summer, my teacher asks, "So, what makes you want to stop?"(Or something like that.)

Okay, fair question. So I explain how I just want time to myself over the summer to relax, stay with family/friends, etc. So he replies with, "But Summer vacation's only for school. What, do you think of this as school?" I wasn't sure what to say, so I just kinda shrugged.

He continues, "Well, I was just wondering because you're the first student to ever want time off. None of my other students have ever asked me about something like that before." I was a shy, quiet kid, and I'm at a loss of what I should say... I'm sorry, I guess..?

He then tells me, "You know, I've been taking music lessons since I was your age (he was in his 60's), and I never felt like I needed time off. I always went every single week, and I still do. Oh, except for that time when my children were born. So I guess I took 2 days off during my lessons. But hey, that's just me... "

If anything that just made me want to quit more than I already did at the time.

photo-1520523839897-bd0b52f945a0?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1wYWdlfHx8fGVufDB8fHx8&auto=format&fit=crop&w=1000&q=80 Geert Pieters

94. Snotty cheerleaders get what's coming to them

My mother does event services and deals with groups that book the venue. One time she had a cheerleading competition and the girls were really mean. After one group yelled at my mom and talked down to her because she told them they couldn't leave their things in the hallway unattended, they then proceeded to walk off and told my mom to go to [bleep] herself.

This was about 3 hours before they performed. My mom's job has a strict "unattended bag" policy. My mom calls it in: bomb squad and bomb sniffing dogs come. These girls had items they needed for competition in the bags. After the all-clear was given, all the bags were confiscated and brought to security.

Girls show back up for the bags - they are all gone. (They have an hour left until they perform at this point) So of course they start freaking out.

Now my mom is really well-liked in her job. This matters because the whole of the staff know what the girls said before my mom called it in. These girls might have performed on time if they could've gotten their stuff from the security office. However, what ensued was every single staff member giving these girls the runaround trying to find security.

After about 50 minutes they finally found it and got to meet some officers waiting to have a talk with the girls and their chaperones. They did not make it to their performance.

It was a good day.

women in black and white tank top leah hetteberg

95. That's the best revenge I've ever heard

I work on commission, and at work somebody blatantly lied and stole a $1,200 commission from me. I confronted him and told him to pay me, but he only offered me $100. I told him until he paid me the amount I was owed, I was going to make sure I cost him $12,000.

From that point on he hit quite a dry spell and made about half of what he normally does for the month. Customers flaked on him or whittled his commissions down to nothing. For months nothing went quite right. He'd fly into rages about how much I was costing him (but still wouldn't make things right and pay me what he stole). He'd curse me every chance he got, and hasn't dared cross me since.

Funny thing was, I never did a thing. I just let him think it was me. I wanted him to believe I really did cost him 10x what he stole. Every customer that bailed on him, every deal that went bad, he was sure I caused it to collect on my imaginary debt. As far as I know, he believes it to this day.

man wearing watch with black suit Ruthson Zimmerman

96. Cheater gets what she deserves

I have a buddy who started dating a girl who was engaged to another guy. After a couple of weeks of dating (i.e serious, heavy duty boning), she broke up with her fiance and started dating my buddy exclusively.

A few months later they moved in together and shared an apartment for 9 months. Then one day my buddy came home from work and found all of his stuff by the front door and his mom pulling up in her minivan to help him move home. That's right, his mom knew it was over before he did.

This was my friend's first serious relationship (he was 20 at the time) and he went off the deep end. For about 2 weeks he called her constantly before giving up.

Not surprisingly, his ex got back together with her fiance. Unfortunately for her, she didn't remember which lies she had told her fiance before they broke up. So after about a year the fiance spent a week calling everyone he knew trying to get my friend's phone number. He eventually succeeded and asked my friend about what really happened and on what dates. I was at my friend's house when the fiance called and my buddy was very matter of fact about what happened. The fiance thanked him and hung up.

My friend told me who had called and what the call was about. We then wondered what would happen next when the phone rang again. It was his ex-girlfriend, screaming at him asking him what she had told her fiance. My friend calmly replied that because of the way she broke up with him, he didn't owe her anything and he certainly wasn't going to lie for her. She then began to scream at him so more and he promptly hung up the phone.

My friend then instructed his 10 year old sister to screen his calls (this was before cell phones and caller ID). It was hilarious to hear her say "Umm... my brother doesn't want to talk to you." Good times.

woman and woman sitting on dock both holding one smartphone Duri from Mocup

97. How cold is 10 degrees?

My housemates and I got into a thermostat war. I’d turn it to 20C to be comfortable in my own home. They (a couple) would turn it to 10C to save on the heating bills.

I gave up with the passive aggressive, unspoken war and rewired the thermostat. It stayed at 10C for the rest of the year (which I’d wired to be 20C).

I’d love to see what happens when they move into their own place and expect 10C to be as warm as our place!

gray Nest thermostat displaying at 63 Dan LeFebvre

98. Group work is a nightmare

In high school, I was one of the top kids in this class, and so were my 3 other group work partners. We were put together by the teacher so that the slackers would be forced to pull their own weight, and we would get a fair share.

So anyway, me and 2 of the guys in my group are tight. The 4th is a total know-it-all, one-ups everyone, insults the whole group's intelligence, even though we're all about equal. Anyway, this project is BIG, and is supposed to take 3 months.

Me and my 3 friends do our shares and he starts criticizing it, it's not up to par, fix this, fix that... so we say we'll fix it but bottom line, our work is fine. His work is great too, but he can't be satisfied unless he does it himself.

We wait until two weeks before the project is due, and show him our work, it's pretty much complete, but done our way not his. He flips, so we back off and say he can do it himself if he wants. He agrees, and the three of us collaborate and make up his part behind his back.

The week of our presentation comes, he comes up to us and begs for us to share our work. He absolutely physically cannot possibly do this without us. We give him the cold shoulder and totally ignore him, we're pretending we can't hear him. He is absent the rest of the week, and comes in the day of the project.

The teacher calls our group up and only he stands. We tell the teacher he insulted us, was extremely controlling, demanding, and threatened bodily harm. (All true.) Teacher sees this kid's true colors and lets it fly. His project is good, but only about 35% done. He breaks down crying and runs out. In the end he fails the project, we get a 95% with a couple points off for teamwork. For the rest of the year, we pretend we can't hear him.

man in gray crew neck shirt Bannon Morrissy

99. You're on candid camera

I was in line in my car to enter an amusement park. All of a sudden the car in front of me threw on their reverse lights and backed into me hard.

I got out and was talking to the driver, a 17-year-old girl, about what I needed -- her driver license and insurance info. She kept trying to delay giving me the info because she wanted to call her parents first. Fine, no problem..... she calls her dad and as they were talking she calms down and her face lights up.

She turns to me and says loudly and in a snarky tone while holding the phone towards me to get my reaction, "Did I hit you, or did you hit me? Because before I backed up, I checked my mirror and my passenger checked hers and you weren't there and then all of a sudden we felt a hit..."

Oh boy, here we go.

I replied, "Are you implying I rear ended you?"

"I'm not sure, but I think you might have."

I point to my car, "Do you see that little thing beside my rear view mirror, that's a dash cam and it's been recording since I left my house and is currently recording our conversation. Now, if you want to go this route, we can, but the police are going to be notified..."

Now she starts crying and says on the phone, "No dad, he has a dash cam and it's recording everything."

Then come the waterworks. She starts trying to get me to talk to her dad, that he will take care of it etc. etc...Finally I got the info out of her and had to get the front end of my car fixed.

white and black camera on tripod Michał Jakubowski

100. Grandbaby crazy

My mom consistently tries to play the victim when we (her kids) don’t want to see her.

She’ll post on Facebook about how her kids don’t love her, call extended family members to complain, and just make stuff up so that people think we don’t love her or something.

In reality she makes it so unbearable to visit her that we don’t want to. She tries to treat us like we’re still toddlers. First time I brought my wife to see her, I was going to book a hotel. My mom threw a fit because I wasn’t staying at her place. So my wife convinces me to give my mom's place a chance, because at this point she doesn’t know.

Terrible choice.

My mom said she’d have the guest bedroom ready for us. In reality it was a twin bed with toy story bedding and a princess sleeping bag on the ground. Well I can barely fit into a twin bed so my wife took it while I slept on the ground. (We got a hotel the next night.)

As soon as we arrived, my mom gave my wife an incredibly inappropriate gift. (Lingerie.)

During the next couple days my mom:

Tried to convince us to give her a grandchild;

Tried to put me in timeout;

Threatened to spank and mouth soap my wife;

Tried to sleep in our hotel room;

Took us to Babies R Us to try to convince us to have a kid.

Yet in all this she’s the victim of kids who don’t love her. I’ve literally gotten calls from extended family telling me how I have to see my mom more.

photo-1576859000633-11e9f0cc75d4?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1wYWdlfHx8fGVufDB8fHx8&auto=format&fit=crop&w=1000&q=80 Annisa Ica

101. Maybe you should care more about your kids than WoW

I used to know this guy named Adam. To make a long story short, Adam was a POS.

Anyway, he was living with his brother (we will call him Jess), his other half brother, Jess' mother and my now husband who was living with them at the time. He acted entitled over everything and enjoyed treating people like they were beneath him. He was also nasty towards his love interests and neglectful of his kids.

One particular time, Adam took some left over pizza that my husband was saving for dinner and threw it away because "If I can't have pizza then why should anyone else in this freaking house have it?" My husband was going to kick his butt and I was going to curse him out, but we both didn't want to bring drama towards him and didn't want to disrespect Jess' mother.

So we let our anger bottle up. We decided that it was a great idea to wait until Adam went to the movies with his girlfriend to act out our need for revenge.

You see... they had this nice setup in the basement. It was an entertainment area with several computers lined up next to a TV and game console set up. My husband's computer was on the left. Adam's in the middle and Jess' on the right.

Adam LOVED World Of Warcraft. He was the type of WOW player that put the game first before his responsibilities. Shortly after he left for the theater, we put our plan into motion. We stripped all of Adam's characters of their items. Emptied the auction house, sold some items, deleted other items, gave items and thousands of gold to random players, and split the rest of the loot amongst ourselves.

The best part is when he came back home. I was on the couch watching a movie. My husband and Jess were on their computers playing a game. We all got quiet when Adam came downstairs. We heard the WOW log in music play in the background and tried not to look at his screen. He was quiet at first then started muttering "What the...?" repeatedly. Then he shouted "What the [BLEEP]?"

My husband was the first to speak and asked him what was wrong. Adam showed us all his characters stripped of their items and yelled "SOMEONE HACKED MY ACCOUNT!"

We all looked at his screen and acted shocked. My husband finally spoke up after this moment and said, "Wow, that's really messed up."

Adam then grabbed a phone and ran upstairs to call Blizzard customer support.

When he slammed the door we all burst out laughing.

So good.

So good we did it several months later when he ticked us off. Then one more time when he tried to steal Jess' mother's credit card. After that Adam got one of those authenticators to prevent himself from getting hacked AGAIN.

Fun ruined. Thanks Blizzard.

gray and orange concrete building under white clouds during daytime Roméo A.

102. Don't mess with someone who has all your information

This is pretty bad... I actually don't know if I should be posting this at all, but here it goes.

I used to work in a Verizon store. I'd been there for about a month or so before I had the pleasure of dealing with an infamous eternally cranky woman that would come in every so often. Since she's an actual person out there in the real world, we'll call her Nadine.

Nadine is a very petite lady with fifty kids, she's in her early-mid 30s, and always has this temper that is ridiculous. She stormed in the store, and demanded that my manager help her set up her brand new iPhone. From what I could gather from the situation and the conversation going on, she actually managed to harass the Verizon reps over the phone so much that they replaced her broken droid with a brand new iPhone 4.

So while my manager is setting up her phone for her, he asks me to show her a few cases. She gets snippy with me and insists she doesn't need a case at all. Her droid was pretty solid (until she broke it obviously). I tried to explain to her that the iPhone is made of glass and if dropped it will shatter. "Ma'am (I'm 22. I am not a ma'am.) I do NOT need a case." So I said "fine then. Suit yourself." She was kind of taken aback by my response.

She returned a few months later to pay her phone bill, complaining the entire time that she just HATED her iPhone. When I told her the total for her bill, she went ape.

"WHY IS MY BILL SO HIGH. YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME." "Let me run an account analysis on your account and fi-" "I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT. I HAVE KIDS IN THE CAR." "Um, okay." -did all the payment protocol and printed her two receipts- "I REALLY just don't understand why my bill is so FREAKING high. This is BS." "Um... I can find out for you if you..." "Yeah, I already TOLD you, I don't have TIME." She storms out and I scream "HAVE A GREAT EVENING" at the back of her big dumb head.

She comes back about a month later to pay her bill again. She was under the assumption that she didn't have to even pay that month's bill (then why come in?) so, as with a lot of our customers, they assumed we personally ran the company and it was thus MY fault she had an outstanding balance.

I tried to explain to her that she did, in fact, have a bill for this month and it was x amount of dollars. She tried to argue that, because she paid last month, she didn't have to pay this month. (Yeah... I don't know). I was civil and courteous until she personally insulted me. Saying I wasn't a professional, that I was a "[bleeping] liar", etc. so I had had it. "Look, I don't need you talking to me like that. I'm just relaying to you that your bill is overdue and you do in fact have to pay it this month." "THIS IS BS. YOU ARE A DIRTY LIAR."

At this point my coworker gets involved and pretends to be the store manager. This woman continues to verbally harass me and insist I'm a liar and I'm full of crap. She also insists that I be fired on the spot. My coworker finishes out the transaction for me, as this woman SERIOUSLY insisted that I was not allowed to even look at her.

As Verizon reps, we have access to all account info that has been provided by the customer. Address, email, employer, discounts, etc. So later that day I signed her email up for about a dozen or so truly offensive adult website newsletters. I also signed her address up for a free sampler of some random adult magazine. I also quit that month.

selective focus photography of woman's face Natalie Heathcoat