Have you ever been to a wedding that you just know isn't going to end well? It's a terrible feeling watching people you know make a mistake that you know is going to haunt them for years. But sometimes it's just so obvious that the marriage is doomed from the start that you almost have to laugh. Or at least go online and share the story with everyone else.
Thankfully, that's what these folks decided to do. Here comes the bride!
55. The unhappiest day of my life
54. Burn, baby, burn
Well, it wasn't so much only the wedding (though I was the best man at it), it was obvious the whole relationship was doomed when I learned this:
(Important to note, the groom was a hardcore stoner.)
She demanded before they got married that he quit smoking up -- she was strenuously against him doing it.
He had no intention of doing so, but was convinced he could hide it from her (so starting out with a lie, and one that was bound to be found out).
He was horrible at hiding it when he was smoking up.
They were divorced 9 months later after she caught him smoking in his car in the driveway. So stupid, the whole thing. Why people get into these relationships I have no idea.
53. 'Til whatever do us part
52. The vanishing groom
51. Let's place bets
It was my friend's wedding, sadly. Twelve people literally sat at a table at the reception and formed a pool for how long it would last. Shortest guess was 1 month, longest was 2 years. I had 15 months.
The divorce was announced at 2 years, 1 month later. We decided all bets were off.
50. All this could be yours
49. Shotgun wedding with the wrong groom
48. Nothing like building a relationship on a bunch of lies
My wife and I had thought this one couple wouldn't last. The groom gave off a creepy vibe. We gave them 2 years max.
Two years came and they were expecting a baby, so we gave them another few years. A few more years came and another child was on the way. Then about a year later, the crap hit the fan.
Our initial thoughts were correct -- dude was creepy and hiding some sketchy stuff from his past. Lied about a lot of things, like his education. This explains why he always worked the lowest position in their line of work (they both work in the medical field). He claimed he had a degree, which would put him at a much better paying position, but he kept working the bottom tier (practically volunteer) job. Money was a huge issue for them, and she made the bulk of their combined income.
47. Open mic wedding vows
Like why would you take your vows as the chance to do a stand-up routine, and why would you tell jokes ever if you're that bad at it?
46. You get a divorce, you get a divorce!
45. Reasons to elope
44. No choice in the matter
43. It all ended in the cabana
42. Honeymoon for one
41. The marriage scammer
40. That's a friendship that lasts 18 years
39. Wrap it up
38. Too late to turn back
It was strange. I'm a musician who used to play loads of weddings, but this wedding took the cake. What made it worse was seeing the bride so happy!
37. By the time you realize, it's too late
36. More like a vinegarmoon
35. The clock is ticking
34. Betting against the house
33. Could have just had two honeymoons
32. She keeps her word
31. This might be a record
30. A ticking time bomb
29. Get together for the kids
28. Today is the day we both completely change!
27. Straight to the point
26. That's a very expensive week
25. We all hate our lives
24. Not tears of joy
23. I don't
22. Take this guy to a strip club and he would become a polygamist
21. Father of the groom
20. Why would you tell people?
19. You're making money on both ends
18. Bet your bottom dollar
17. Save yourself, boy
16. Dancing in the dark
Our friend was the girl who had spent a whole year setting up for the one day. They had taken 6 months of dancing lessons and she has spent a ridiculous amount of time looking good and dressing up her bridesmaids for the wedding of which my wife was one. So come the night of the wedding, the groom meets up with his old friends and starts to get blackout. He got so hammered he didn't even recognize us, rather just pushing us aside to get to the bathroom.
The worst part was the dance itself. It was really heartbreaking to see them stumble around and watch the panic on her face as he realized he had no idea what was going on. I gave it 6 months at the time, but they ended up 3 years. She ended up marrying another woman.
15. A wedding arrangement
14. I'm marrying an entrepreneur
13. Till poverty do us part
12. What an exhausting two years that must have been
11. Get me to the church on time
10. Great time to mention that
9. More money, more problems
8. The red wedding
7. Karma came for you
6. Money can't buy class
5. Shotgun!
4. Bridezilla emerges from the sewers
3. Body language tells you a lot
2. Bad grooming
1. Hiding it from mother