Monkey Alert: Tourists And Locals Share Wild Encounters With Monkeys

Monkey Alert: Tourists And Locals Share Wild Encounters With Monkeys

Humans have lived on this Earth for quite some time now, but monkeys have been here longer. Through time, we have learned to share the world with our primitive ancestors—it was their place first, after all. While interactions between humans and monkeys are rare in places like North America, they are quite common in other parts of the world. Redditors came together to share their stories about their interactions with monkeys. Some people were on a vacation and encountered one unexpectedly; others have learned to live with them in their hometowns or even in their college dorm rooms. Whatever the scenario was, these people (and these monkeys!) were in for some wild surprises.


50. Monkey On The Lam

I was riding my horse through the woods, we were on our second day of riding. Up and to my left I saw a brown monkey run through the branches. When I returned home the next day, I mentioned to my friends and family that I saw this monkey. They laughed, called me crazy. Said I'd been in the woods too long or saw a very fat squirrel. I did some research and discovered that the monkey I saw was a breed that escaped from a conservatory in the area a while back.

I live in Texas.

shashank-sahay-ghD1Znf8gps-unsplash-300x200.jpgPhoto by Shashank Sahay on Unsplash

49. The Monkeys Have The Power Now

Kenyan here. A few years ago half the country had a blackout because some monkey got into the power station and messed up something.

Lived next to the national park so would have monkeys regularly get into the house (if the kitchen door was open) and steal eggs, onions, bananas etc. But they were very cute.

power-station-3431136-300x189.jpgImage by

48. Monkey University

Oh man, this brings back crazy stories.

I went to a university which had been set up inside a city forest reserve. The campus had deer roaming freely and an infestation of monkeys.

The dorm was structured like a rectangle with a large courtyard in the middle. Bunch of stories come to mind:

Firstly, I was rooming with two other guys at the dorm. We had a 5-gallon canister of drinking water sitting on a table and a bunch of snacks from a grocery run. Snacks included a bunch of OTC meds, chocolate powder, and other junk. While the windows were equipped with metal grilles to keep the monkeys out, the baby monkeys squeezed through the gaps.

I left last for class, leaving the window open. Upon return a few hours later, we found that some of these little buggers had sneaked in and in no particular order: turned over the water canister and flooded the room; eaten at least a half dozen blister packs of meds; sprinkled chocolate powder on all three beds; eaten through some small bills we had lying around; pooped in >3 different places in the room

Guess who had to clean up all the monkey poo?

In a similar incident, a dorm neighbor had their phone stolen from their locked room by a similar mischevious little simeon. Flip phone from The mid-2000s

Over the years I missed classes on at least 5 occasions because there was an army of 15+ monkeys parked on the ledge right outside my dorm room.

monkey-3554261-300x173.jpgImage by

47. Lock Your Windows, Close Your Doors

Not too far from where my wife's family lives, there are monkeys on the mountain. They climb on your car and go for a ride, put their balls on the front window or do it on your car hood if you're not careful.

They are very good thieves too. You have to keep your bags in your hand and lock your car doors. They have been known to steal things out of cars too.

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46. Watching The Sunset With Unlikely Friends

I was studying in India and was learning Hindi in the Himalayan foothills. Up there, there are two types of monkeys, langoors and bandars. Langoors are golden-retriever sized, grey monkeys with pitch-black faces. Bandars are Jack Russel Terrier sized, and are small and brown, and ubiquitous in Southeast Asia.

The latter are the troublemakers. One time, they broke into our cottage and stole bananas off the top of our fridge. Another time on the way home from grocery shopping, a particularly bold one ran up and snatched the shopping bag out of my friend's hands.

But one time I remember we were in Hampi and went rock climbing. We caught the sunset from the top of a large mount. A brood(?) of bandars were sitting next to us, grooming each other, and watching the sunset too. It was honestly an amazing experience.

vaibhav-thorat-JPcCtt4HT2A-unsplash-300x200.jpgPhoto by Vaibhav Thorat on Unsplash

45. Banana?

I live in Malaysia. We had a family picnic and didn't think to take precautions against the monkeys, which were absolutely everywhere.

There are at least two species of monkey where we live: Macaques and Silvered Leaf Monkeys. The Macaques are more numerous and aggressive, but they usually maintain their distance. You'll rarely be able to get within 2 meters of a Macaque without it running away, although it will behave in a threatening manner before you get that close.

So we were surprised when, in the middle of our picnic, this gang of Macaques literally raided the picnic blanket, jumping on us, stealing everything they could grab in 0.5 seconds. Drinks, fruit, bags, bread...everything.

But the funniest part was my daughter. She loves bananas. The sight of her standing there with one arm reaching out and screaming in slow motion: "Baaaa-naaa-naaa!!!!!" as she sees her prized bananas disappearing into the sunset. Years later, we still tease her by spontaneously calling, "Baaaa-naaa-naaa!!!!!"

44. A Monkey Classroom Bamboozle

So once the winter came and it was monkey season full blown. We heard monkeys causing a menace outside my school so we shut the door. There was a tree opposite the right window. Woosh! A baby monkey swings and enters the class.

Everyone was bamboozled. The monkey seemed excited.

Everyone stood up staring. The monkey just looks around and goes back out the same way.


43. Japanese Robber Monkeys

I lived in Japan for a year for a study abroad program. I lived on the outskirts of Kyoto. If you turned right out of my house you'd head into the city. Turning left sent you into the mountains and more rural parts of the city. There are monkeys that live in said mountains. One time I went for a jog up the road that winds up a nearby mountain path and saw a monkey jump out of the woods like a frickin velociraptor from Jurassic Park. It knocked over a poor old lady and stole all the groceries she was carrying.

Stupid monkeys.

42. The Shirt Is A Donation To Your New Monkey Family

I was at a resort in the jungle for a company team-building retreat. We had a special shirt made for each of us. I was drying my shirt out at the balcony and a few little monkeys started sniffing and fighting for my shirt. My roommate and I were about to rush out and grab my shirt, but a giant angry mother monkey came, so we just looked sadly at my shirt from inside the room and said bye to it.

vinayak-varma-409699-unsplash-300x200.jpgPhoto by Vinayak Varma on Unsplash

41. Stealing Grandma's Kittens

My maternal grandparents live in rural Malaysia, where their house is surrounded by plantations and raw jungle. One time, one of their cats had a litter of kittens, and we brought one out to play outside (her mom didn't mind). All of a sudden, a monkey jumped down from a tree and grabbed the kitten and tried to take off with it. My quick-thinking older cousin grabbed a rock beside him and hurled it at the monkey. The rock struck its head and it let go of the kitten and ran away shrieking.

I don't dare to imagine what might happen to the kitten if it managed to escape with it.



40. Monkey Business Is Serious Business

I was visiting a friend who lived in Shimla, India. Her house had a closed balcony (like a large bay window) where the dining table was set up. There was a small open portion of balcony in front on the closed part. I loved sitting there in the mornings, having breakfast and watching langur monkeys sitting on the railing and grooming each other just outside the window. I was less fond of having them wake me up at five in the morning by jumping around on the roof.

The macaques in Shimla are like raccoons in some parts of the USA - they get into the trash and in through windows and steal food. They are, however, much bolder than raccoons and not afraid of humans at all and you need to make sure they don't see you carrying food around or they will snatch it from you and bite you for good measure. There is a temple in the hills above Shimla where they will snatch glasses off people's faces and only give them back in exchange for food.

I was visiting another temple in Shimla and was sitting there in the sun, sketching, while my host's parents prayed at the temple, when I heard a movement behind me. I turned around and there was a macaque sitting on the wall at my shoulder, apparently taking great interest in my sketch. I edged slowly away so as to not seem threatening. These things have huge canine teeth and can bite the hell out of you.

39. Do Not Feed The Monkeys

We went to the Rock of Gibraltar as a kind of a guided tour thing when I was in the Navy. There were probably ten of us and I knew two people out of the whole group. Well, the one guy I knew well worked down the hall from me and he was kind of a putz in general. There are big signs everywhere that said not to feed the monkeys.

Well, this guy decides he's going to hold out his bag of chips, trying to taunt this one monkey. The monkey reaches and he pulls it back saying something stupid like, "No, no, no, not for you." One of the group members points it out, but the tour guide doesn't even bother—I guess he knew better than we did.

The monkey leaps on the dude, balls up its little fist, and socks him in the nose. Dude freaks, monkey grabs the bag, and runs up the rocks. Monkey sits there staring at him like, "I got mine."


38. Bad Monkey = Sad Human

We had a monkey that roamed our neighbourhood for a few months. Mostly friendly...until it wasn't. It started chasing the kids in the neighbourhood. We thought it was good fun and would taunt it till it chased us. Then it started biting kids. Really vicious bites. My dad's a vet and people were worried about rabies. After enough kids got bitten, the adults decided it was time to get rid of the monkey. We had several german shepherds at our house. So one day the monkey was lured into a room with bananas or something and then 2 of our dogs were released into the room. Monkey no more. Made me so unbelievably sad that that's how they chose to get rid of it.

37. Lemurs, The Respectful Primate

When I was about 12, I went to a zoo where they had ringtail lemurs roaming free through the exhibit. There were signs everywhere warning me not to feed or pet the lemurs. So like a good kid, I didn't. I sat down in a quiet spot, and let the lemurs come up to me.

I spent the entire day there, didn't see anything else of the park. The lemurs were super respectful; there were about 20 of them just sitting around me, looking at me. One lemur looked at me, took my hand, and just started licking it. Then another one took my other hand, and did the same. these lemurs took turns softly licking my hands the entire day.


36. Frozen Baboon Anyone?

In some towns in Zimbabwe, baboons are a major problem. At one point a friend of mine went on holiday with his family. When they got back, they found that one of the windows had been forced open (or maybe left open). They assumed that they had been burgled, since the home appeared to have been ransacked. A couple of days after getting home, his wife opened the chest freezer to take out some meat. Turns out a baboon had gotten into the house, ripped the place up looking for food, opened the latch on the deep freeze, got in, and got shut inside. Poor thing ended up freezing to death. Apparently the lady's scream when she opened the freezer could be heard all the way in Botswana.

35. Monkey Thieves

We went out camping in cabins as a family. We didn't close the window one day and a monkey broke in and stole a bunch of food.

The next day, my grandmother was sitting on the porch steps knitting. A monkey behind her must have thought she was eating something. He snuck up on her, pushed her to the ground, grabbed the yarn, and ran off.




34. Trickster Monkey In The Oil Refinery

I was working at an oil refinery in India. We had a compressor that would trip every night around the same time, and really mess us up. I reviewed the data, yadda, yadda, yadda, nothing made sense. It was like it was turning itself off. So we set up a sting where we put up a camera and watched as a small dark figure came out and approach the compressor. It was a monkey. It pressed a couple of buttons, played with some dials, and went on its merry way. Yes, a monkey was tripping our compressor. So instead of putting a cage or cover on the controls, we hired some little kid to stand out there with a cricket bat and chase the monkey away!


33. Forget Bananas—Where Are The Potato Chips?

I went to the beach when I lived in Costa Rica. There was a family sitting on a long wooden picnic table under some trees. A monkey jumped down to their table and stole a bag of chips, climbed back into the tree above them, then proceeded to throw them and spit them down at the family. One of the little kids started screaming, and the whole family got up and stood away from the treeline. Then a few more monkeys came down from the trees and stole more food off of their table.

Two of the guys stayed and packed up their table while the rest of the family left.


Also, I stayed in a hostel for a few days that was on a hill so it was up along the tree line. A bunch of my friends and I were having some drinks on the balcony the night before and didn't bring our bottles inside right away. When I woke up and looked out the window, a monkey was walking along the banister and pushing the bottles off one by one. Every time it pushed a bottle, it would then look over the side and watch it fall down into the brush. Little jerks.


32. Barbados Animal Control To Infinity And Beyond

Grew up in Barbados as a kid. We had a local green monkey that would hang around our windows and scream, and try to relieve us of our stuff. He took my Buzz Lightyear action figure and that was the last straw. We called the Barbadian version of animal control and their strategy was pulled straight from a cartoon. Cage, string, banana. It worked, but I never found Buzz, so I hope that monkey is rotting in monkey jail somewhere.

31. Bread-Stealing Monkeys

In India, I was walking back to my host’s house and saw a bakery and decided to get them some treats as they had been so accommodating. I bought a small cake and a few other things. I was on my way listening to my headphones and suddenly I felt a strong tug on my bag and got startled. Out of nowhere, this monkey comes, snatches the bag of cake off my hands, and toddles off. The monkey knew how to take the knot out of the plastic bag. He opened the cake box and ate and shared the cake with his friends right in front of me. Everyone around me was not even a little bit surprised. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry about it. I told the story later to my host family, they laughed their butts off.


30. Monkeys Steal Glasses

I lived in Thailand for a while, so I should have known better. I was on a beach near Krabi where a lot of monkeys were hanging out, and one of them came and sat next to me. He just sat there for quite a while and then suddenly, out of nowhere, pulled off my glasses and ran up a tree with them. I had quite a bit of trouble trying to get those back, and they were broken when I did finally retrieve them.

My husband and I also visited a temple in Malaysia with some monkeys. My husband is a pretty good photographer, so he was getting some nice shots, and a monkey obligingly ran right up and peered into the lens. While we were both watching this monkey on the camera, a second monkey ran up next to my husband and stole the bottle of Coke in his cargo shorts pocket.

Finally, one of that same group of Malaysian monkeys stole a roll of Mentos from me, resulting in some hilarity as the monkeys were extremely confused by the sweet and sour taste and kept putting the Mentos in their mouth, then taking them out and looking at them, then putting them back... They did decide to eat them in the end.


29. Zimbabwe Baboon Attack

I was hiking by myself in Zimbabwe and got charged by a huge baboon. Those guys have teeth like dogs. He scared me into unleashing 6th-grade karate lessons on him. I yelled as loudly as I could and kicked out. Not sure if I connected or if it was just a bluff charge, but he retreated.



28. Frightening Baboon

I was 19 and I worked in a resort with loads of baboons around (Drakensberg, South Africa).

I was on my lunch break, so was chilling in my room. This huge thing (easily 4.5 feet) walked in through my door, stood on his hind legs, and aggressively showed his teeth (dog teeth on steroids). I had to call down to reception to let them know I might be late from my lunch break.

Normally if you walk towards them aggressively, they back down and run away. This guy was having none of it. (But in retrospect I probably let out a small shivering whimper instead of shouting.) He glared at me for another 10 minutes until he lost interest and left.


27. Green Monkeys

I stayed in Barbados for a few months with some friends. The green monkeys there have these really long tails that I'd guess must be three feet in length. I saw a couple of monkeys sitting on the ground, one monkey grooming the other. My buddy says, "I'll give you $20 if you touch one of their tails."

So I go walk over and the monkeys ignore me. I sit down next to the monkeys and they just look at me and go back to their grooming. I put my hand down near the end of this three-foot-long tail and... nothing. So I ever so lightly touch the very tip of the smallest bit of fur on the end of this three-foot-long monkey tail and all madness breaks loose.

Both monkeys start screaming and at this point, I have jumped back up and am trying to retreat. The monkeys are not having it and are both trying to figure out how to attack me with teeth bared. I'm jumping around on one foot with the other out to try to keep them at a legs distance while both monkeys are obviously trying to figure out how to jump on me. These monkeys are also about the size of a Terrier or a little bigger, so I'm imagining how this is going to be with two of these on my back literally.

Luckily, they both tried to attack like the ninjas do in the movies and didn't figure out they needed to spread out. Had they done this, who knows what would have happened. It seemed like I was dancing around like this for a minute or so and the monkeys finally decided they weren't going to be able to jump on me and calmed down. As my intense focus on these monkeys and the visuals of them on my back attacking me fade, I hear my friends crying with laughter, literally doubled over and crying. I back up a safe distance horrified and my "friend" already has my $20 out saying, "That's gotta be the best $20 I've ever spent in my life!"



26. Marine Monkey Hater

I used to hang out with a guy who was in the Marines and was stationed in southeast Asia in the 80s and 90s. He has TONS of monkey stories, and he hates monkeys more than I have ever seen anyone hate anything ever.

He was once stationed at a base in the Philippines where they actually mandated that the Marines were required to wear their combat helmets while outdoors because a monkey threw a rock at the commanding officer of the base hard enough that he needed stitches on his head. They started doing actual patrols of the base in two-man teams armed with weapons to control the monkey population because it was getting too aggressive. Turns out, the dumpsters at the chow hall were drawing them in like flies from the surrounding jungles.


25. Living With Monkeys

I think monkeys are one of the coolest animals on the planet. I mean, obviously, you need to be careful with the capuchins or pig-tailed macaques, and squirrel monkeys will bite the back of your neck for no reason, but plenty of monkeys are incredibly docile when accustomed to humans... woolly monkeys in South America are beautiful big softies. Red leaf and silver leaf monkeys are incredibly placid and polite too.

Probably my most favorite thing to do is hang out with monkeys. I've lived at a monkey sanctuary for a month and had at least five different species climb on me in the wild. Just respect their etiquette and they're all gravy.


24. A Thief Lurking In The Cave

I was meeting some relatives in India and was spending my last day in Mumbai before heading to South India. My aunt told me to go to this place called the Elephanta Caves and look at all of the rock carvings over there. I was totally on board with that and bought my tickets. But there was a twist to this: India was about to embrace its monsoon season. The temperature would always be in the high 90s and low 100s, and even the shade couldn't save you. The only thing to save you was water. Immediately before I left I got three water bottles. I finished one on the walk to the dock and bought a jumbo-sized bottle from a small stand on the island. But I didn't know that there was another threat to me: monkeys. There were hundreds of them on this island, and the government couldn't do anything about it (monkeys are sacred in Indian culture, so killing one is considered sacrilegious). I was walking around the caves, boiling in the hot sun. My water bottles were finished, and I was halfway through my jumbo bottle. I took it out for a swig when I noticed a monkey eyeing me. His beady eyes looked greedily at the bottles, his legs were coiled and ready to bounce. I stood guard, closed my bottle, and backed away a few steps. The monkey steadily crawled a few steps forward. I was starting to inch my way back when the monkey hissed and started charging toward me. Without hesitation, I threw my bottle at it and ran away. I looked around while running to see the monkey take the bottle and rip it open. He stole my water bottle and caused me to drop out of my tour so I wouldn't perish.


23. Monkey on the Beach

When I was in middle school, I visited Thailand with my family. There are tons of monkeys roaming around. I was walking on the beach eating the best coconut ice cream I’ve ever had and this monkey started approaching me. It was slow at first and as I started jogging it began to chase me faster. I started screaming and running and my mom ran up and kicked it away.


22. Marshmallow Theft

A monkey came into my house and stole an entire packet of marshmallows that was for an end-of-year class party.


21. Monkey Raid

I lived in India until I was 11, during summers we sleep on the terrace since it’s very hot and usually no one has AC. I was routinely woken up by the noise of monkeys nearby. Once I woke up scared out of mind when I saw a monkey about a foot from my face playing with my blanket.

These monkeys are geniuses of some sort; they know where all the food is in the house as well. My wife has told me she routinely found a monkey in her kitchen going through all the food.


20. Hiking The Trail Of Terror

I was out at a park in India with a snack bag. I was walking around minding my own business. Then this giant macaque starts pacing slowly toward me from 20 meters away, eyes locked on mine, unflinching, one foot in front of the other, staring me down. When he got three meters away and showed no signs of backing down, I chucked my snack as far as I could and sprinted in the other direction—all I could hear was his screams and cackles as he ripped the bag apart and devoured its contents.


19. Crashing A Tea Party With Monkeys

We were having a meeting at a great venue in Nairobi and refreshments had been laid out outside so we could take our breaks in the garden.

Somebody’s presentation was interrupted with: “The monkeys are eating our tea break!”

They had descended from the trees and were stealing all the cakes and fruit. It was an absolutely joyous and wonderful sight to behold.


18. Monkeys In Hong Kong

My apartment and my high school are both in the mountains of Hong Kong, specifically nicknamed The Monkey Mountain.

We had a monkey sitting on our AC on the seventh floor; we later heard that our neighbor on the twelfth floor got her fruit stolen.

We had witnessed monkeys robbing people's grocery bags right after they came out of the grocery store.

I witnessed a monkey sitting on the ledge of the fifth floor of my school. The monkey saw me as I walked by and jumped. I looked down and the monkey was gone. I assume it swung itself to the floor below.

For entertainment for my two baby sisters, my parents will park the car in the car park by my school. They are infiltrated with countless monkeys and my sisters enjoy seeing them. It's like a free monkey safari.


17. Horrify The Family With A Dying Dog

It was a baboon, but it snuck into my neighbor's house and ate their dog. Also, baboons like to eat animals alive, so it screeched for a good five minutes before we managed to get inside (neighbors weren't home). It was gone by then though.


16. Surviving A Monkey Bite

I was on vacation in Thailand last month. We did a day trip to Ayutthaya and Lop Buri where the monkey temple is located. There are hundreds, maybe thousands, of small monkeys roaming free in the town, especially around the temple.

There were, like, 50 tourists around the temple. Some of them were getting close to the monkeys for selfies; some got monkeys on them. A little Chinese girl was getting her hair pulled by two monkeys and her parents were swatting the monkeys away.

Then there was me, standing at a respectful distance, not moving, and minding my own business while my girlfriend takes photos, from a distance as well.

Well, who gets a monkey bite and has to go get rabies shots?

Thankfully, the bite didn't break my skin.


15. The Great Leaf Battle

A monkey threw a leaf at me one time while in Bali. I threw it back at him. Apparently, that’s a sign of aggression. The monkey jumped on me and bit my neck. I stood up to show more intimidation and he jumped off. Never got tested, but I think I have no monkey viruses.


14. Monkeys Want All Or Nothing

I was bitten while exploring Angkor Wat.

I sat down for a minute by one of the ruins while a group of young photographers was maybe 50 meters away filming some seemingly tame monkeys. Out of nowhere a young macaque jumps on me from behind, grabs my bracelets and I instinctively pushed it away which was a big mistake as it looks at me as if I just insulted its mother and proceeded to bite me just above my bum.

I learned a lot about rabies that day too. Great fun going around Cambodia collecting shots from different places.

Also, the same day at Angkor Wat, I saw a woman and her toddler approach a group of monkeys. The kid got out a packet of biscuits, took one out to offer to a monkey who then looked at the single cookie, looked to the pack, back to the cookie and then grabbed the whole packet, leaving a kid with a harsh life lesson.


13. Distrust Over Monkeys

Japan doesn't have many monkeys in the cities, but there are wild monkeys in the forests. One time my wife and I went to a tourist spot, and as we were walking through the forest, we heard a rustling sound overhead. We saw a whole family of monkeys crossing the trees; it was an amazing sight.

So, a year later, we decided to go there again. My wife said, "Do you think we'll see those monkeys again?" So I said, "Yes, those monkeys will be there. I guarantee it."

We went, and we didn't see any monkeys. Ever since that time, anytime my wife asks if we will be able to see something that we hope for, I tell her I guarantee it, just like the monkeys. And that's why my wife doesn't trust me.


12. Contaminated Monkey Hands

I'm a nature guide/lodge manager in the Kruger area.

This one year I worked at a lodge on the banks of the Olifants River. There were vervet monkeys everywhere. The owner insisted on serving lunch on a platform that was about 50 meters away from the kitchen. One person always had to stay with the buffet while other staff members brought out the rest. The monkeys knew who was staff and who wasn't. No matter how many times we warned our guests, monkeys always got their share. One would pose for the guests, people all grab for their phone and start taking pictures. Behind their back, the table and buffet get raided. I even have a picture of a monkey eating a slice of pizza, he's holding it by the crust like we do.

The worst was the dominant male though. He always got excited when lunch was coming, so he often started playing with himself. Then minutes later, he had his hands in one of the bowls, mostly the spaghetti, he liked that. So we took whatever he touched away, and had it replaced asap. This one time a lady got angry and said "We should not throw good food away," so she grabbed the bowl out of a staff member's hands, and dished up...


11. Mugging Monkeys On The Roof

I stayed in a hotel in India (think it was Jaipur) where after dark we all sat in the courtyard and the monkeys would run across the roof. The hotel was a really old building that had been tastefully restored and it was an awesome sight.

I walked around the monkey park in Ubud, Indonesia where the monkeys were all around you. Supposedly tame, they clearly were going to mug you as soon as you turned your back to them. I didn't hang around too long.


10. Monkey Forest Memories

My favorite memory of the Monkey Forest was when some big male monkey was on the edge of the guard tower at the entrance screaming at the guards, and these guards with big weapons were backing away out of the tower. I mean, obviously, they weren't going to harm the monkey but it was an amusing visual.


9. Anti-Religious Monkey

I was a missionary for my church in the Philippines. I jokingly held out a card with info about our church and this monkey grabbed it out of my hand and ripped it to shreds.


8. Ticked Off Monkeys

When I was a toddler my parents took me to the beach in Mozambique. They put me down in a baby pen underneath the trees on the beach. Monkeys were in the trees above. Apparently they were very interested in me and getting a little too close. My mom got nervous and grabbed me out of the baby pen and this ticked off the monkeys. So they peed all over the baby pen and it went into the trash when we left the beach.

vincent-van-zalinge-396729-unsplash-200x300.jpgPhoto by Vincent van Zalinge on Unsplash

7. My College Roommates Are Monkeys

Malaysia. My uni’s dorm literally has monkeys chilling on the rooftop every day. Whenever students go to class or when the dorms are empty, they just come over and look for food. It’ll get messy.

If you’ve never had any experience with real-life monkeys 10 meters in front of you, it’s easy to say, “Just fight them!” Nah, my dude. They come in packs. You hit one, another ten will retaliate.


6. A Monkey Bite Brings A Snowy Miracle

We were on a trip to a nearby hill station/resort in the city of Shimla, Himachal Pradesh, India. It is a tourist town known for temples dedicated to Lord Hanuman (monkey god) and snowfall. Yes, snowfall is rare in India and tourists flock to towns like Shimla during winter to experience snowfall. Unfortunately for us, when we arrived for our two-day holiday, there was no snow anywhere! Even the weather report indicated that we were out of luck for our holiday. Both my brother and I were quite disappointed because we had never seen snow before and were really excited about this trip. My mom suggested that we instead visit the popular Lord Hanuman temple and see the sights around there. This temple, like all Hanuman temples, had many free-roaming wild monkeys all around. My mom was carrying some food in her hand when a monkey jumped on her, grabbed the food and bit her hand. It wasn't a very serious injury and she received a couple of shots from the doctor, but she was extremely sad because the trip was a disaster. She prayed that night to Lord Hanuman to ask him for "compensation" since she is a very passionate devotee of his.

The next day, we woke up to live snowfall and snow covering everything! It was the most magical moment of my life and we spend the rest of the day frolicking about and playing in the snow. I will never forget this incident as a sheer moment of belief that turned into something magical. Thank you, Lord Hanuman.


5. Rain Or Monkey Feet...?

I was in Uganda for a couple of months in 2012, spending one night with the team in Fort Portal. The hostel was surrounded by vervet and colobus monkeys. Colobus monkeys are very pretty to look at (long black and white fur) and a bit shy - they mainly stayed up in their trees, away from the humans. The vervet monkeys, on the other hand, are highly sociable, and the ones near the hostel were eager to interact with humans. And try to steal our stuff. They were adorable, amusing little jerks.

My roommate and I got the "honeymoon cottage" that was set back from the rest of the hostel, because that's where they could fit us. I remember early in the morning hearing rainfall on the tin roof, before realizing the pattern was quite irregular. I saw my roommate was awake and asked her if it was raining. She said no, and that she was pretty sure it was the monkeys running back and forth repeatedly on the roof. They did that for something like two hours before moving on.

4. Baboon Attack In A Hotel

Baboons. We were on a trip through Africa on our honeymoon and we stayed at the Victoria Hotel on the Zimbabwe side. The night we arrived, there was a troop of baboons walking across the roof with the biggest alpha male I have ever seen. He was jacked and massive like a hunched over man.

One really hot day, we decided to open the windows and let some air in. I noticed the drainpipe right next to the window against a dirty white wall. So I was lying on the bed next to the window playing a 3DS and my wife was reading a book.

The sun was streaming in and then all of a sudden wasn't, when we looked up the big alpha male was on the window ledge. He climbed down the drainpipe. I have never gotten off a bed so quick, as I did he was bearing his teeth and getting really aggressive and he jumped into the room. We ran into the bathroom just before he reached us we slammed the sliding door. There are no phones in the rooms there and the room door was bolted closed as we were instructed to do, so no way out before the Babbs rips you apart. Yelling had no effect to either alert others or scare off that baboon.

We were stuck in the bathroom while he started ripping apart anything that was wrapped up. The only thing in the bathroom was a small wooden bowl with an old orange in it. I opened the door to check if we could get out of the room but it required unlocking a few things so that was a no-go.

I grabbed the orange with the intent to throw it at its head and worst case we stay in the bathroom a few hours. I slid the door open just enough so that I could jump back in and close it before the baboon got me. I stepped out and yelled as loud as I could, "HEY," and lifted my arm to peg the orange at it.

The baboon dropped the souvenir it was tearing to bits, leapt from the bag onto the bed, did this full flex muscle thing and bore its huge teeth, then turned around and jumped out the window and onto the drainpipe and back up to the roof.

I closed the damn window and rescued my freaking-out wife. When we spoke to the staff about it, they told us we were very lucky and that if it had been my wife it would have killed her as they are not afraid of women. They also said had I not raised my hand above my head it also would have killed me.

The reason it ran when it did was that that is how they get rid of them from the grounds—a man goes out with a slingshot and gets them to move on. That baboon didn't kill me because it thought I had a slingshot and it knew they hurt.


3. A Sweet Monkey's Touch

We used to live near a wildlife sanctuary and in those days wild animals were occasionally seen around the house.

One morning, I was just about to wake up, I feel a cool hand on one eye. Then the hand moves over my other eye. Naturally, I assume it is my sister pranking me and open my eyes to look up and yell at her, but no one is there. I look down and squatting next to the bed is a monkey, looking up at me with lively interest, hands now demurely on its knees.

My first reaction was wanting to hug it, it was so very sweet sitting there looking up at me, then I remembered that monkeys can be quite destructive and carriers of rabies! So I dived under the quilt and yelled for my mom, who came running into the room and chased the monkey out by throwing a purse at it.

chromatograph-1227672-unsplash-300x200.jpgPhoto by Chromatograph on Unsplash

2. Evil Baby Monkeys

I was on vacation in Tanzania and woke up one day to a juvenile monkey fiddling with the zipper to my tent/cabin hybrid. I told it to shoo and it backed up about a foot, then came right back and kept doing it.

Frustrated, I unzipped the tent and made it clear he should scram by lunging at him. So he ran off... for about 30 seconds. Then he came back—and brought a friend.

Soon another showed up, and then another, and then another, and then another. Before I knew it, there’s about 30 monkeys—not all of them small—chittering and chattering outside my tent/cabin.

I had to pee like a racehorse so I steeled myself, unzipped the tent and then started hollering and jumping up and down to scare them off. Again, they backed up about a foot and then RUSHED at me.

I ran for my life pursued by a troupe of evil baby monkeys all the way to the wildlife camp’s outdoor pavilion. There, one of the Masai warriors they used for security appeared and chased them off with his cowhide shield and spear.

For a minute there, though, I thought those little guys were gonna tear my face off.


1. They Are The Closest Living Relatives To Humans

They started using smartphones!

My hometown is full of free-roaming monkeys. In the schools and houses, we keep the windows closed to keep them out.

Once, in my friend's school, they accidentally left the windows open during a break. The classroom was empty as all students and teachers were in a monthly meeting or something. When they came back, they saw monkeys all over the class, stealing food and vandalizing.

One monkey was on the teacher's desk, with the teacher's smartphone in hand, tapping the touchscreen. Well, they have watched students and teachers using them all the time; they were curious!