Las Vegas Workers Share The Crazy Things They've Seen Tourists Do

Las Vegas Workers Share The Crazy Things They've Seen Tourists Do

Casinos tend to bring out some odd behaviour in people. Las Vegas especially seems to cause people to act in ways they would otherwise never dream of back at home. The combination of long nights, partying and the sheer overwhelming nature of Vegas leads to people becoming seriously impaired in the judgement department. So we wanted to know; what are the craziest casino stories? From devastating losses, to insanely lucky breaks, to outright criminality, here are first hand accounts of shenanigans straight from the casino floor. Good luck.


50. Lost In Five Hands

I had a customer lose about $10,000. He's walking to the ATM to get more money and the dealers let him know that there's a $500 max withdraw on the ATM but he can do a credit card advance at the cage for a lot more.
He comes back with $20,000 and loses that in five hands.


49. KFC vs. UFC

My uncle is security at a strip club in Vegas. One night they had a UFC amateur fighter who had a few too many drinks. He refused to leave and was getting kind of violent.

My uncle (not big at all, just good with people and talking) approached the UFC guy. "Who do you think you're dealing with? I'm a UFC champion." Blah blah blah, UFC this UFC that -- you get the point. My uncle says, "UFC? I eat KFC EVERY DAY!" Apparently, the guy just stood there very confused and left. Came back the next day and apologized and told my uncle what he said was so funny and strange that he couldn't comprehend it and just left.


48. Clean-Up Crew

I currently work the night shift at a casino. I like it because it's often quiet and I don't have to worry about the clients. There have been times, though, where we would go into rooms to refresh and find homeless folks sleeping under tables and airwall pockets, which often leads us finding piles of poop on the floor.

On one occasion, I walked into a room and found two very old people being intimate. They noticed us walk in the room but didn't care, so we let them finish like good employees and then security escorted them out afterward. If you're coming to Vegas on a business trip and decide to get freaky late at night in a public room on the convention floors, always expect someone to be watching.

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47. What A Knight

My brother worked in the show at Excalibur where you watch knights joust and stuff while everyone eats their meal with their hands. As far as I know, the craziest thing was the time he knocked out one of the main actors in the middle of a performance because he accidentally hit him in the head with his sword (they're dull but they're still heavy).

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46. Gambling Your Winnings

I was playing poker one night and suddenly I heard a crash and looked. Fifteen plainclothes security guards tackled an alleged bank robber who was 6'2 and 300 lbs. He supposedly robbed the bank and two hours later went to the casino. The wonders of facial recognition software!


45. Pool Float

My friend is a day club security guard. He said that one chick had so many beverages that she passed out in the two-foot deep pool, face-down. She was surrounded by people who just laughed around her in the pool until someone realized she wasn't breathing. Medics were called and CPR administered. Luckily she survived.


44. Craps Table

In the mid-90s, my father was working a prop player in the poker room (plays in card games out of his pocket for the casino on an hourly pay wage) at the Rio.

My dad was working one night playing poker as usual. At one point, there was a smell of fecal matter in the air. As it grew stronger, my dad wondered where it was coming from. Then he noticed the source about two chairs away from him. There was poop running down this lady's legs through her shorts down to the floor and all over the chair.

He immediately called security, who of course asked her why was she pooping at the table and not going to the bathroom. She said she was on a winning streak and didn't want to leave the table. Of course, they forced her to leave the casino. I guess the only streak she left with was the one in her pants.


43. Lime Party

These two guys asked for so many limes. I have no clue why. Anyways, their room was trashed beyond imagination and there was piles and piles of lime remains in the bathtub.


42. Risky Business

I'm a student here and working the casinos at night to pay for college. The weirdest stuff would be the intimacy. People get really freaky here. I've seen people do it in the pool, in the bathroom, hands under tables, inn the elevator, in the bushes outside, in the valet parking lot. The best, though I only heard about it, was a couple who did it right outside the door to their room. Apparently, they couldn't make it all the way in the stupor.


41. Bear With It

Plus size dancer in a panda costume. She took off everything except the head. Weirdest thing ever.



40. Lunch Time!

I used to work for the legal department of a large Strip casino. Until I started working there, I had no idea that a huge number of people visit Las Vegas for one reason only – to sue us. It is STAGGERING the things they try to pull.

One woman shows up in town with her 5-year old son, and breastfeeds him publicly in the front desk area. Because of the age of the child, people are freaking out, so she is asked to nurse privately. She then tells our casino she will sue us.

Now, all the lawyers on the Strip are friends (even with lawyers in the “competing” casinos, because they are trying to keep this place together). After this incident, we notify all the other attorneys on the Strip, because people like this have a habit of hopping from casino to casino with the same con. Sure enough, about 30 minutes after we send out the warning, we hear she is hitting another casino with the same thing. She leaves that one and tries to enter a third, but security wouldn’t even let her in, as a description of her and her con was already out.

This is just one wonderful example of the type of people that visit Las Vegas!

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39. Steak For Breakfast

Two young guys from somewhere in Central America come in at 4am. They are expensively dressed with Rolex watches, and obviously years of English classes but no experience actually speaking it. I'm guessing they are privileged rich boys in their country; they have that attitude where they are used to having servants, have never given a thought to how they treat other people, and never once have needed to pick up after themselves.

Anytime they need something they pound on the bar and yell until I respond. It doesn't matter if I'm in a conversation with someone or making a drink. They do this every few minutes. He insists on paying as soon as he orders. They order the two most expensive steaks on the menu. The check is around $100, he looks at the tip portion on the credit card slip for a few seconds then crosses it out as soon as he realizes what it means.

The guy who had more beverages falls asleep immediately after ordering. After I put in the order and help one other person the guy starts pounding for me to come over. I ask him what I can do for him and he just stares at me. I ask him again, and he says, "Uhh, where's food!?!" He ordered two well-done 16-ounce steaks and he's mad it has been three minutes. He stares at me anytime I'm in sight; if I make eye contact with him, he holds his arms out wondering where his food is.

The other guy wakes up, they take turns going to the bathroom, probably three times each. Come back sniffling and rubbing their noses. The steaks come out and these guys are hunched over their plates, shoveling food in as fast as it will go. One guy gets a piece of fat from the rib eye he's eating and just hocks it out onto his plate. No discretion, doesn't try to be quiet, just spits it out. A few minutes later his brother does the same thing, but he loudly spits his food onto my bar, almost going over and into my ice. He sees me staring at him and quickly puts his head down and continues eating. I guess deep down he knows what good behavior is, he has just grown up in a situation where he does whatever he wants.

They are slowing down. Their heads get closer and closer to the plate. They each still have their fork in hand. Guy who had too many passes out first, puts his hand into the food and rests his head on it. His brother is asleep with his head hanging but in an upright position. I should probably wake them and tell them that's not allowed, but I want nothing to do with them.

I come back a few minutes later. One guy is asleep, hunched over his plate with his fork in his hand. One guy has moved his hand and is fully asleep with his face in his food.

I walk around the bar again and there is another patron taking her picture with the guys. Cute blond girl has her arms around them doing devil horns. The hostess is begging me to let her call security, she gets abused so much she loves to be able to give a little back.

Security comes and shakes them both awake. As the one guy sits up, a piece of potato and a chunk of steak sticks to his face then falls in his lap. His hand is covered in ketchup, which he then wipes all over his white shirt. Security sends them on their way.

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38. That's Not In The Bible

On the surveillance camera, we saw this man walking across the parking lot carrying a coffee can. As he walked, he started taking his clothes off. Security barely stopped him just inside the Casino, stark naked with a coffee can full of quarters. When asked what he was doing, he said, "Jesus told me to gamble naked and I would hit the jackpot."

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37. Nature Calls

I'll tell a story about a girl I saw frequently for a while though. Every night I was down in my usual promotion spot, she would show up and we would chat for a little while. Asking each other how the night was, you know. Typical small talk. I had no interest in this woman, but it's good to note that she was beautiful. The kind of girl you look at and wonder what went wrong in her life that brought her to do this for a living. I wished someone would save her from the kind of life she was living.

Anyways, one night I see her walking up and she's smiling. I ask her, "How's your night been?" A very innocent question. She replies, "Well I just went to the bathroom on some guy for $300, so... I'm pretty good."

Then I had to just pretend like that was a normal thing to say to someone and finish the conversation. Vegas.

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36. Orange You Glad?

I worked at the front desk of the hotel, and my sister worked in housekeeping. She was assigned to clean one of the high-end suites. The guests had left behind empty orange soda cans, like cases and cases worth, and toys. Toys everywhere. The room had been booked by a single, middle-aged woman who seemed normal enough. (Except she drank straight menthe and had a permanently green tongue.) No idea what went down there.

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35. Superstitions

I was recently in Vegas and asked a cabby who was giving my a ride to the airport about the craziest thing he had ever seen. He said that one guy got into his cab and was sobbing uncontrollably while saying, "My wife is going to divorce me, my life is over, I don't know what to do." Cabby replied, "What's wrong?" The guy then proceeded to tell him how he had gambled away his life savings, $500,000 in one night.

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34. Terrible Scheme

Before I got into aviation, I used to deal cards at a casino. A lot of people had ways of trying to cheat the casino. One night on graveyard shift a couple came in. The boyfriend kept feeding his girlfriend beverages until she was sick. She threw up on my table and aimed it at the chips. He feigned concern, but grabbed about $6,000 in bloody vomit-covered chips and made a dash toward the door. He was clotheslined and tazed before he passed the buffet. I got to go home after that. I heard nothing else happened that night anyway.

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33. Jackpot (Not)

This very old woman was playing slots. She was in a wheelchair, and had an oxygen canula. She was clearly not there by herself, her family was nearby.

Well, she hits it BIG, and I mean BIG. Bells are ringing, lights flashing, the entire room knows something big just happened.

Casino staff and personnel come swarm her, already getting out the paperwork for her to sign. The bells and lights are still going nuts. A crowd is gathering.

She's clearly not able to handle all this, so her family steps in, and they start talking with the casino staff. The crowd just gets bigger, people start taking photos, and the bells and lights are still going nuts.

Quietly ... off to the side, the old woman wheels her chair outside the crush of people, and starts putting money into another slot machine. She doesn't care if she won big, she just wants to keep pumping money into the machine. She's not oblivious to what's going on, but she clearly doesn't care.

That's what gambling addiction looks like. It's crazy.

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32. Honking Good Time

Was playing blackjack with my buddies in a casino. We were having a good time, although we were being a little too boisterous for the casinos liking. Nothing dodgy, just enjoying ourselves.

Anyway, our dealer changed to a dude called Steve, who was absolutely on his game. No hint of anything inappropriate.

Now, my buddy has a particularly good goose impression. That's right, goose. He asks Steve if he wants to hear it. Steve doesn't even flinch. So my buddy starts honking like a goose, and we're all laughing and enjoying it.

We then ask Steve to do his impression of a goose. Not a flicker. We ask again, and although he doesn't acknowledge it, a brief hint of a smile breaks across his lips beneath his impressive beard. At this point we knew we had him.

Some gentle badgering later, out of nowhere, Steve honks like a goose! The whole table goes silent... And then we go crazy, could not stop laughing. And laughing.

We were given a final warning and Steve was moved to a different table. God bless you Steve, wherever you are, because you made our night.


31. Cool Story Bro

I saw LL Cool J walking out of a restaurant. As I'm standing there a tall drink of water walks in and blocks my view of LL Cool J. The guy turns around and it was Owen Wilson. Sits down and gets a drink and it turns out it wasn't LL Cool J, but I made Owen Wilson a mixed beverage instead. He was all like "wow! Unbelievable! Wow!"

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30. All Bets Off

I have a few stories.

I saw a celebrity playing with himself under a card table.

A lady had a heart attack and fell onto roulette table. Her husband continued placing bets around her body.

Every Chinese customer walked out after one dude got banned. Literally some dude in his 20s walks onto the floor, yelled something in mandarin, and 98% of Chinese gamblers stood up, left, and didn't return for weeks.

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29. A Pair Of Twos

Long time Vegas hotel employee here, with two favorite stories.

The first story involved a working girl going up to the room of a guest she had propositioned in the casino. She apparently convinced this brainiac to take a shower before doing anything and proceeded to steal his wallet and watch and run out the door. He heard the door and chased after. Without putting on anything. We now have a 5'4" nude man chasing a woman down our hallways. They both manage to get to an elevator at the same time, full of other guests, and the guy starts fighting the girl for his stuff right there in front of the horrified guests until the elevator hits ground level and security can intervene.

Second story: A woman calls down requesting security to help her remove unwanted guests. Apparently she had a good night the night before, and had brought two men to her room. They both spoke German and did not understand why she wanted them to leave. When the hotel manager asked if she wanted to press charges she told him everything was consensual, but that she had woken up with these guys there and didn't want them there anymore.

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28. Party Police

I worked at a club in Vegas where some guy, just out of his mind, climbed up the fire escape on the side of the building, over the barriers, and then onto the roof that covers the valet area -- you know, where taxi cabs and limos pull up to drop people off.

When the bouncers and valet guys shouted at him to come down, he decided that instead of going back the stupid way he came, he would just... climb down the fluorescent lightbulbs on the side. They shattered under his weight, sending him down into the street, cracking his skull open on the pavement. He didn't die, thank goodness, but his wife screamed about suing the club, telling us we would be in big trouble for this, because her husband is NYPD. Amazing.

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27. Please Don't

I worked at a casino that opened a few years ago and I remember during orientation they were bragging : "We're different than other casinos, our windows open." By the time I left a year ago, security confirmed four people had jumped from their windows or balconies. Open patios/windows aren't a good idea for people with gambling addictions.

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26. 'Til Death

I've worked at a hotel in Vegas and so much has happened that I could write a book...

Quite a few people met someone and decided to get married the same night. One morning, I had a guy ask me if I knew a good annulment lawyer because he had married a girl from another country that was out for a green card and now she refused to have a divorce.

It turns out he wasn't actually married after all and just thought he was. I was actually confused by the number of guests who thought they were seriously married. You have to go to the courthouse to make it official, so luckily this doesn't really happen like the myth.

A guy brought a "little person" companion to his room for two nights in a row. Different women.

A guy did some substances, started playing music obnoxiously loudly, and when told to stop started yelling anti-Semitic slurs at the manager. Refused to leave so we called the cops and he had a warrant out for his arrest.

A 70-year old man who used to run a restaurant started renting out some of the female guests to the male guests. He would find ladies who wanted some extra cash and match them up with male guests who didn't want to have to go out on the street. At one point the old man said I could have a free session in return for not telling my boss. I didn't take up his offer and I told my boss...

Like I said, I could write a book. Las Vegas is the kind of city where people go to do the craziest things they've ever done in their life.

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25. Grass Is Always Greener On The Other Table

I was playing blackjack at a table with a few other people. We had a roulette table next to us, opposite where I sat on 3rd base. The dealer stopped to shuffle, and one of the people at our table noticed that the ball had landed on "9" for four consecutive spins (It had one of those signs that lights up and records the last X number of spins).

One guy says to his buddy "Hey, put some money on 9!" The other guy says "Not 9, 36! Four nines is thirty-six!"

So the player on first base, with his pile of chips in front of his chair on the blackjack table, stands up and places a bet on 36. Before the dealer could spin, however, the pit boss intervened and told the hopeful bettor that he could only play at one table at a time. In other words, he'd have to give up his spot at the blackjack table to place a wager at the roulette game.

The dealer was done shuffling her cards, so both tables were on pause until the guy on 1st base decided what he was going to do, under duress of the pit boss to get both games moving again.

Blackjack had been going well, and his friend was still playing, so sat back down with us at the blackjack table, grumbling all the while.

The roulette wheel spun and landed on 36. Because, how could it have landed on anything else?


24. Taking All Bets

In a craps game at the Stardust, many years ago, an older player leaned across the layout to place a bet. His false teeth fell out of his mouth and landed on the felt. Without missing a beat, the veteran stick man removed his own set of teeth, tossed them out onto the table, and said "We'll fade that action."

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23. Joyriding

I played blackjack with some dude for about 6 hours. He finally got up from the table and went out the front door. About 10 minutes later he comes back in driving a golf cart he had stolen from one of the groundskeepers. Drove it right in the front door. Security had him ripped out of that thing in seconds. It was hilarious.

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22. Maybe They Do Things Different In His Country

I was in my cities main casino after a night out, trying to claw back the money I spent on refreshements as I do every time I go out (just a bit of fun), playing roulette because guessing numbers/colors is easy for a person who's had a few - Foreign dude came up to the table, put a couple of decent sized bets down & the majority of his stack was on green, I thought it was a ridiculous bet but he didn't seem too bothered, figured he was just having some fun, anyway he wins, seems completely unphased by the whole thing, gets his winnings back, immediately throws it all down on red, becomes a nervous wreck losing all his composure as if its his life savings, it lands on black & he kneels down as if he’s winded, gasping for air, after about 20 seconds he gets up, facial expression back to normal - walks off with quite a pace on, never saw him again, one of the weirdest things I've seen.

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21. Always Check The Rules

This is a second hand story from a lovely lady who was a dealer in Vegas in one of the bad casinos on Freemont Street. She was dealing at a blackjack table where you can do one of those crazy side bet things on certain rare hand combinations to get a bonus jackpot. Anyways one guy hit it and won 35 grand. This was a big deal and he grabbed his cards off the table to show his friends and the Casino invalidated the play because apparently that was against the rules. Anyways he did not get his winnings and was escorted out crying. Seemed unfair to me.

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20. I’m Out Of Order? You’re Out Of Order!

This story is from The Mandalay Bay about two days before the McGregor and Mayweather fight. My significant other and I are not high rollers, but we go into the high roller slots room and play a few random slots from time to time. Our first night there I go into the High limit room to check out the $25 and $100 wheel of fortune slot and notice a man in a suit standing next to the machine with his arms crossed but he's not playing. As I get closer to the machine the man stops me and says sorry you can't play this machine. I'm ok with that because I was just looking to see what the last bonus was anyways. So I walk around to the other side of the room and find a $25 machine to play as I notice a very normal looking middle aged women going around in circle of a 4 machine bank and she's putting $100 bills into each machine pressing the spin without seeing if she won or not and goes to the next machine. She has a oversized McGregor/Mayweather shirt on that the casino was selling in the hotel gift shop. She's making a waving hand jester as if she's taunting the machines and going "WOO" "WOO" each time.

I'm thinking to myself  “this lady is having fun." I then notice about 4 other men in suits all watching this lady from different areas of the room. By the way, the men in suits all worked at Mandalay Bay. I really think nothing of it and leave the high limit room.

The next day we get up early and head over to $10 wheel of fortune machine that we like to play that is located directly in front of the high limit room. I again notice the same lady talking and smiling with all the employees. She seems really friendly and amped up. This time she is wearing a leopard print shirt, jeans and a fanny pack. Again she is very normal looking almost hillbilly like. I go into the same room again and head towards the side by side $25 and $100 Wheel of Fortune slot to see what the last bonus was. This time I notice "out of order" stickers on the machines but I also notice there is still credits in the machines.

This time there is a lady in suit that tells me I can not play these machines. This is when I start to wonder what the heck is going on. I leave and come back several hours later and see the same lady playing both $25 and $100 wheel of fortune machines. She is hitting the buttons as fast as the slots can keep up with her. At this point I'm shaking my head like what is going here. She has got to be spending $1000's in minutes. Not only is she playing the wheel of fortunes but she is also playing 4 other machines that have casino employees standing by them.

As I'm getting closer to the lady the casino employees start to look at me as if I am doing something wrong. I get close enough to talk with her and she is surprisingly a very talkative and friendly lady. She tells me she hit $40,000 on the $100 machine earlier that day but that she is down about $200,000. I am completely blown away at this point. I tell her good luck and go on about my day.

It’s about 2 am and we head back down to the HLR to see the same lady still playing the $25 and $100 wheel of fortune slots. She has a table next to her with food and drinks and employees all around watching her. I don’t bother her this time but again I am blown away by the amount of time and money she has spent. We get up the next day and head down to our $10 slot in front of the HLR once again. It's about 11am and she is still in the HLR wearing the same clothes from the day before. She looks a little more worn down but not out. I only watch her from a distance for few minutes as I am in disbelief.

We come back that night to find her still in the HLR wearing the same clothes. I go up to her this time to find herstill playing the $25 and $100 Wheel of Fortune machines over and over and over. I strike up conversation and ask her how she's doing. She tells me she lost another $160,000 for a total of $360,000!!

Now, I am not sure how the heck this is possible but she seems to be telling the truth. She is still smiling and very talkative. The strange thing is that she is still telling me that all she wants in life is a horse, a pool, and a pig. And that she rents a room from her daughter. I’m thinking to myself that with all that money you can buy tons of horses, pigs, and have your own house. I wish her good luck once again and go on about our night. This was our last night there and our flight leaves at like 7am the next morning. We get up around 5am and head back down to our $10 machine to play it a few more times before we leave. I take a peek inside the HLR to see if the lady is still in there. And there she is playing in the SAME clothes, but this time she has the "out of order" sticker stuck on her forehead as she continues to play one machine after another. I am not joking when I say she looks emotionally and physically drained but at least she has a good sense of humor! Not once throughout my trip did I not see this lady in the high limit room.

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19. Easy Come, Easy Go

A dealer over at Binions Horseshoe would play Keno on his break every day. One day he won $30,000. His next break he ran over to the Golden Nugget with his $30k, went up to the craps table in the middle of a roll and said "Gimme $27,000 Across" and then placed the point for what he had left. Next roll "7 out, line away" and lost it all.

Went back to work a few minutes later like nothing happened.

carl-raw-499664-unsplash-300x200.jpgCarl Raw on Unsplash

18. You Gotta Know When To Walk Away

The Excalibur, the summer of 2002. My wife, daughter and I are playing roulette at like 1:30 in the morning. A new player comes up and my daughter, trying to tell the croupier that a new player is in and needs to color up to yellow says, instead, "Eleven." (We all had more than a few free refreshments by that point.)

We laugh and then look at the board. The 11 square is totally uncovered. Gamblers are superstitious people, and everyone starts PILING on 11. I think I put at least six chips on, my wife piled on, my daughter, everyone else at the table piled on. The tower was at least seven or eight inches tall.

We start chanting "11! 11! 11!"

Swear to God, it dropped.

You should have heard the cheer. My wife said, "Ssssh! They'll kick us out!"

So I won like $500, so did the wife and daughter, and we called it a night.

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17. It’s All A Matter Of Perspective

I was a local casino a few years back and saw an older man win $15k at one of the blackjack tables. Everybody around him cheered.

Guy was emotionless and then said " I lost $35k before this.."

Everybody became silent.

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16. Sometimes It Isn’t Just The Gamblers That Get Lucky

One of the coolest things to happen with a customer was when I was dealing 3-card poker (the player gets three cards, and hopefully they have got something good. Three-of-a-kind and straight flush are the two big jackpot hands). I had been dealing to this lady who was alone at my table for a while, she wasn't winning but she was really nice and chatty so I was hoping that I would deal a good hand to her and she would win a jackpot. I was joking around and occasionally as I dealt her cards to her (face down) I would say something like "This one's gonna be a straight flush!" but it wouldn't be. Then one hand I dealt her cards and jokingly said "Three queens!" She picks them up, says something like "No way" turns them around so I can see, and it was actually three queens. The chances of that are so ridiculous I was buzzing out. It was a super quiet day shift though, she was the only one at my table and my supervisor wasn't even nearby so nobody else saw. Whenever I tell people (including other dealers, and we have all seen some crazy chancy stuff) they are like 'uh-huh, whatever'.

michal-parzuchowski-474155-unsplash-300x199.jpgMichal Parzuchowski on Unsplash

15. Leg It!

Honestly, the worst stuff you see working in a casino isn't the big one offs - though they do happen. It's the people you see come in every single day, until you realize they've gone from gambling £10k+ a visit to basically nothing, but will stay in the casino for upwards of twelve hours anyway. We had one customer who would come in at 12pm when we opened, and leave at 9am when we closed every day. He never bet more than 20p, but his lifetime spent for the last couple years was over £100k. The guy had gambled away his life.

My favourite story though is about the guy who stole a ball out of the roulette wheel and legged it for the front door, not expecting the dealer to run after him and straight up rugby-tackle him to the ground. That was pretty funny.

He got to keep the ball.


14. Be Good To Each Other, OK?

There was a couple playing the progressive slot machine where you can play 3 lines at once by paying triple. (Essentially let’s you gamble faster). Well, the husband goes to the bathroom and the wife takes over the machine and hits the button for “Play 1 Line” instead of “play 3 lines”

The jackpot combo (triple 7’s or whatever) comes up on the top line meaning they didn’t win the $200k progression because she only played one line. Husband comes back and she shows him. This was 20-30 years ago so $200k was a lot of money back then. The idiot husband proceeds to try and physically harass his wife in the casino. He was later arrested by the police.

jonathan-petersson-614702-unsplash-300x200.jpgJonathan Petersson on Unsplash

13. Sometimes You Just Gotta Quit, Man

I'm at the blackjack table playing some $5 hands, having fun. Sitting in the last position and doing everything right. Splitting 8's. Standing on 12 when the dealer shows a 6. Doubling down when applicable.

There is a dude in the first position that's just on a losing streak. Everything that can go wrong goes wrong. Gets Blackjack and decides to not take the 2:1 payout only to see the dealer get blackjack. Split 8s and wind up with 13s. Double down on soft counts and getting burnt.

Dude gets up from the table and walks about 50 inches to the ATM. Pulls out some money, comes back. Ends up losing as he bets harder and harder. Gets up goes to the ATM again. Repeat. Third time, it happens. Dude is flipping out. He's either overdraw or can't pull anymore funds or something.

Dude blew through about $2000 in 15 minutes and was livid.

Compulsive-Gambling-300x199.jpgUSA Online Poker Guide

12. Dirty Laundry

An old gentleman came over in a wheelchair with another younger man pushing him. The old man continuously laid out thousands of dollars and placed it around the table. He'd lose it all and just throw another wad of cash out. The young man just stood behind him silently the whole time.

Not crazy, just a little weird. I'm not sure if the young guy was a caretaker or a relative or what but that old man must have lost $10,000 in 15 minutes. It was almost like he was laundering money.

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11. This Just Doesn't Seem Like A Sustainable Strategy

I watched a kid (maybe 25) stand behind me for over an hour waiting to get on a craps table. When he finally got a spot, he yells "500 yo" and throws 5 hundreds down. He walked away a minute later empty handed.

837034-card-shark-300x169.jpgCounsellor Sam

10. Honestly, That’s Really Sad

One night I'm dealing Blackjack to this lady. She pulls out a picture frame of her son, puts it on the table, and says it's for good luck. We're playing and she's losing horribly, doesn't seem like the picture is working. We're talking back and forth and I asked her if her son was in college or if he was working. She replies that her son is dead. Before I can even say I'm sorry, she says yeah my son is dead that's why I'm here trying to win money for his funeral.

gambling-addiction-stats-300x200.jpgMad Aid

9. War! What Is It Good For?

I remember my first time at a casino. A friend and I were stumbling around after having too muck to drink and walked to the only free table and asked the dealer to explain how to play War. She told me to give her $20, which I happily did. She dealt me a 3, dealt herself a 9 and took my money, all within less than 30 seconds. 21 year old me was staggered that I'd lost money that quickly.

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8. What A Way To Ring In The New Year

The one New Year's Eve I worked, we had an elderly man pass away at a slot machine. Nobody noticed for a while, he simply slumped over in his chair with a bucket of quarters in his lap. Eventually, some woman wanted his slot machine and tried to rouse him before realizing he was dead. She panicked and began screaming. This kind of freakout is contagious, so other people around her started freaking out, but the place was so crowded people couldn't get away. It took hours for security to make it over to this area, figure out what was wrong, calm people down, and get the body out of there. The EMTs and cops eventually had to strap him to a stretcher and lift him over their heads to carry him out over the throng of people.

john-schnobrich-235243-unsplash-300x200.jpgJohn Schnobrich on Unsplash

7. Casinos Bring Out The Weird In Humanity

I've seen a man inject himself in the leg with insulin, and then leave the syringe sticking out of his leg for an hour because he won a jackpot when he injected himself so therefore it must be a lucky charm.  I've seen people pass out after having sat at a slot machine for 36 hours straight, and I've seen other customers get mad because the paramedics interrupted their winning streak. And I've seen a man pass away from a heart attack at a poker table, and then watched as the rest of the players try to steal his winnings before security could get there.

mike-boening-116749-unsplash-300x243.jpgMike Boening on Unsplash

6. Quit While You're Ahead!

Some guy gets into our blackjack table and starts betting $5k on every hand, the table maximum. He's doing okay for about 10 minutes, then has a bad streak and loses like $60K in 20 minutes. He gets up and walks away. Later, I see him talking on his cell phone and crying.

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5. These Tickets Won’t Write Themselves

The casino I worked at was in a small town. Cops there had nothing else to do but randomly show up to see if anybody with a warrant was there. They worked with our staff because it is a small enough town where everybody knows everybody. Provided entertainment on slow nights watching people scatter when the cops came in.

They also run plates in the parking lot and wait outside the entrance for things like expired registrations and such. As the casino was considered private property they could not issue tickets in the parking lot.


4. "Don't you know who that is?!"

This is more of a funny story than crazy. I was working as a security guard at Louis Vuitton in the Forum Shops at Caesars Palace.

One day, this nice old lady came up. She was eating a cheeseburger, so I kindly told her that there's no food allowed in the store. She smiled at me and said, "No worries." She proceeded to finish her cheeseburger in front of the store while chatting with these two huge dudes in leather jackets.

The Louis Vuitton manager at that point runs over to me and whispers-shouts: "Why did you not let her in?!" I told my boss I was just following store policy, and the lady didn't get mad or anything so I wasn't sure what the big deal was.

"Don't you know who that is?!" the manager demanded. "That's Celine Dion!"

I looked at the woman. She had no makeup and was dressed like one of us commoners, but sure enough it was Celine Dion. The two big dudes were her bodyguards. She's a headliner at the Caesars and was on a shopping break. She proceeded to enter the store, randomly grab just about everything that tickled her fancy and spend $200,000 in a matter of 15 minutes.

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3. One In The Bush

One night we got called to the underground car park with reports of there being a naked man. Myself and another guard go down to see what's up, but everything seems normal. Eventually, down at the far end of the lot, we find a towel on the ground that is basically covered in poop and what looks like pieces of food.

Turns out the naked man was hiding in some bushes nearby. I forget what happened exactly -- I think a couple walked past and were startled by some noise or smell coming from the shrub.

So myself and the other guard ultimately found the naked man. We ask him what is he's doing and it turns out he is here on a business trip with some company. We threatened to get hotel reception to wake up his boss and bring him to us if the naked guy didn't explain exactly what he was doing. This worked.

Turns out the guy just really wanted to wear the hotel room towel as a diaper underneath evening wear, pooping in said diaper during company dinner, shoving small pieces of food down there as well, and then proceeding to find somewhere to be alone with his towel diaper creation.

Very cool.

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2. Yeah, That’s Not Suspicious.

The craziest story was a man brought a backpack full of money to my window. Crazy amounts of money. He requested $25,000 of twenties to be exchanged for hundred dollar bills. This happens quite a bit, but 25K was way over the limit of what was acceptable to do without proper paperwork, so I requested his ID. All I needed it for was to type him into the system that checks to make sure he isn't evading taxes.

But the ID he gave me definitely wasn't him, unless he had the Benjamin Button disease. The guy in the ID was in his 70's, and the guy in my window was maybe in his late twenties, early thirties.

This is grounds to call my supervisor and fill out even worse paperwork, that we send to authorities.

I had scanned the ID he gave me, and when my manager got there, she told him, "Obviously this isn't you." And he apologized, said he had grabbed his grandpa's ID instead of his own, his was in his car.

Took his backpack, still with some money inside, left, and never came back. We just had 25K in twenties that remained in our vault until we got the report back from SS (or whoever it was sent to, I still can't remember) that said homeboy murdered the man in the ID, buried him in his own backyard, and robbed him.


1. Crime Never Pays

One, time we had a couple come in and check into the hotel with a stolen credit card. It didn't flag as stolen at first, so we had no idea anything was amiss. Then the cops showed up looking for them. They had me page the name on the card, which was female. When that didn't bring anybody forward, they had me page a man's name. A woman came forward hesitantly, and when she saw the cops, she dropped her tub of quarters and began wailing and crying. The cops handcuffed her while she sobbed, and we stood behind the counter at the front desk watching this.

They had us page the guy's name again. At this point, the dude decided to make a run for it. He went tearing through the casino, leaping over tables with detectives chasing him. He ran past the front desk and tried to get out of the casino but ended up slamming face-first into one the huge glass doors at the front entrance. It literally knocked him out cold. He slumped to the ground, leaving streaks of blood on the glass from breaking his nose.

It turned out this guy had broken into some old lady's house, then beat her up before taking off with her purse. She had lain there all night before someone found her. Once he had her purse, he decided to take his girlfriend gambling.

benjamin-lambert-431957-unsplash-300x200.jpgBenjamin Lambert on Unsplash