Let the Rage Quit Begin
Gamers deal with a lot of frustrations! Online sessions are overrun with griefers. New patches can completely wreck your game. A formerly cool community soured under the weight of its own toxicity. Yet, these are just a few headaches only true gamers understand.
1. Griefers
Griefers have ruined online gameplay for years, and their bad-faith behavior isn’t going anywhere. Incessant trolling turns a pleasant afternoon into an all-out warzone—now we have to sidestep the 12-year-old with maximum armor and their parents’ credit card.
2. Useful Items Mean Trouble
Casual gamers may fall into the trap of sudden useful items, but true gamers know better. What’s that? You just found three health potions and a cool new sword you’ve never seen before? You’re darn right we’re saving.
3. Getting Collectors’ Editions
They may promise better graphics or the odd mission, but collectors’ editions are often pretty pointless. Yet there we are, first in line to buy it anyway. At least they’re cheap, right? (Don’t worry, that was a painful joke.)
4. Press “Any” Button
If the screen tells us to press any button, that’s what we’re doing. We’re definitely not wondering why the game didn’t just tell us it meant a specific button…
5. Unskippable Cutscenes
Good games call for frequent playthroughs, but we’d love to skip that two-minute cut scene—especially when we’ve seen it enough times to mouth along. At the very least, they’re a good opportunity for snacks or a bathroom break.
6. Checkpoints Before Sleeping
True gamers know the joy of stinging eyes and cramped hands. It doesn’t matter that the clock reads two a.m., we’re not going to bed until we beat this level. (Though we’ll certainly wish we had.)
7. Spending All Day on a Character
On the surface, advanced customization seems great. Gamers can get right into the nitty-gritty of their characters, choosing everything from hair color to how deep their dimples go—which is exactly where you’ll find us nine days later.
8. Hoarding Items for Nothing
Weapons aren’t for wielding! Potions aren’t for consumption! Anything useful must be stored until the end of the game when we inevitably forget about them. Laugh all you want but you never know when one of everything comes in handy.
9. Unbeatable Levels
There’s nothing worse than losing life after life in the same spot. It’s even more humiliating when the game keeps track or has a cheeky “game over” message. Sure, we should probably take a break to regroup, but no one ever does.
10. Attempting 100% Completion
100% completion means lost sleep, nonsensical missions, rage quits, and borderline impossible discoveries. 100% completion also means the overwhelming satisfaction of a job very well done.
11. Way Too Much Hype
We’ve all been there—that video game’s release date is finally here. We may have overpaid, but their marketing was incredible and we just know it’s going to be amazing…then we all sit there as “The Sound of Silence” plays in our minds.
12. An Inability to Be Evil
Okay, this is it. This is the evil playthrough. We’re going to choose all the mean dialogue options and let terrible things happen to our favorite characters. We’re really going to do it this time. And then we don’t.
13. Children Players Online
Ah, yes. That’s what this online session was missing—a child’s completely necessary banshee scream. Now that our ears are ringing, let the fun begin!
14. Very Early Trailers
We’re all excited for that new game until we see the release date is scheduled several years from now. Try as we may, we just can’t rush to love anymore.
15. Toxic Fanbases
Like it or not, every video game comes with its share of toxicity. The only thing gamers can hope for is that it doesn’t spread throughout the community and ruin a once-beloved safe space.
16. Misogyny
Women have it rough in the gaming world—from misogynistic comments to jokes about their skills, they’re in a constant battle against harmful behavior. Heaven forbid they ever reveal themselves in voice chats…
17. Inopportune Crashes
There it is, that glorious finish line we’ve spent two hours clawing towards. Now that you’re here, it’s the perfect time for an impromptu series of glitches or an altogether crash.
18. Uglier, but Stronger Armor
True gamers understand the importance of a character’s aesthetic. That armor may be stronger and that weapon may be better, but they’re staying in our inventory.
19. Feeling Like You Have No Games
Video game collections are like book collections—despite overflowing shelves, you never have enough. It’s a peculiar problem to gawk at all those options without a particular hankering for any of them.
20. Incredible Games Ending
Naysayers can believe what they like, but the best video games have unbeatable stories and unforgettable characters. No feeling matches the emotion of watching credits roll for the very first time.